First a non-denominational believer, then an Agnostic, now more Atheist, now I'm depressed.?

Question

When I was young, I was taught by my Catholic parents to believe in God. I grew up, and although I didn't practice any sort of religion, I did believe in God. Then I started to question and wonder....and became more Agnostic than anything. Now I'm starting to dwell even more, and I feel like the rational explanation is that there is no God or Gods....however I am so sad by that possibility. I can remember thinking how horrible death would be if all you did was cease to exist and have no after life. I thought "Oh that's horrible, there's no way"....but now I think that is probably the truth. It's like I wish I believed, but deep down I don't. I wish God *did* exist. Has any one else been in this mind set before??

First of all, I'm not trying to create any sort of "Atheist Stereotype". I am just saddened by my recent thinking is all. This is a personal matter, not a generalization. There's no reason for hostility.

For those of you saying I'm not a "true Atheist", or that I believe "deep within" - all I am saying is that I wish God existed, but I'm coming to the realization that it's probably not true. When you go your whole life believing in one thing, then suddenly start believing another...it is a bit of a let down. Before I even came to this conclusion I DID try to live life to its fullest and I will always try to no matter what I believe. I was never a person who went through life saying "I'll just do what I want, and it doesn't matter because God will fix everything". So I'd appreciate comments from those who know where I'm coming from, rather than people ready to put me down for having any sort of opinion opposite of their own.

Answer 1

When I was young, I was taught that there was a Santa Claus, and an Easter Bunny. I, too, grew up.

At first I was really bummed when I started to ponder the idea. I mean what would Christmas and Easter be like if that was true if it wasn't about the big guy with the rosy cheeks and the red velvet suit and the rabbit who left chocolate yummies and hid colored eggs throughout the yard? I can remember thinking how horrible both holidays would be if ALL you did was to celebrate PEACE ON EARTH, LOVE OF HUMANKIND, the JOY OF GIVING, the CELEBRATION OF LIFE, SPRING, etc. with family and loved ones.

I wish Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny *did* exist. I also wish the Tooth Fairy *did* exist. I wish "The Force" *did* exist. I wish mermaids *did* exist. I wish unicorns *did* exist. But deep down, I don't.

Yet somehow, I still think that the gift of my life - even if it's just my life, and then nothing, zip, the end - is still an incredible gift. Whether it was a gift from God or a gift from Mother Nature, or a gift from the mysteries of the universe, I'll take it.

Despite its occasional sadness, bitterness, boredom and pain, my life is worth celebrating. It's the only one I have - as far as I know - so I'll make the best of it, learning what I can as I go along, and being the best to others I can be.

If I get lucky and God DOES exist after it's all done, (and none of will actually know until then, so why get all worked up about it), then I can know that I'll be in decent shape to get into heaven. My thought is that IF such a God exists, and he is as powerful as the Christians believe, he surely won't be such a selfish, punitive, egotistical, evil-spirited, vengeful deity as he's betrayed in the Bible.

You'll find your way, my friend. Whether it is to return to the belief system in which you were raised, or whether it's to a new paradigm completely, I hope (pray?) you'll make peace with it being what it is.

My best to you.

Answer 2

I lived in that way for 6 years. I was raised in a Christian family, we weren't active in a particular church but I knew what I believed.
I went through a lot as a teen (as most do) and I found myself struggling to find a reason that I was suffering. I blamed the only thing that I thought I could. God.
The only problem was for me, it never felt right not believing in something that I had been so passionate about.
I am 20 now, and it was until recently that I was ready and able to find my faith in God and in myself all over again. I'm not sure what did it, I prayed often (and hard) I prayed to be forgiven, to regain my faith, I prayed just to try and make some little trigger in my brain recognize the faith I had once been so proud of.
Something hit me recently that just made it feel right. I suddenlt wanted to read the Bible again, I wanted to go to church and to talk about God and my beliefs. I've never been more comfortable with my faith than I am today.
I think I will always have questions and I don't think that there is any harm in that. If my God chooses to punish me for asking questions and finding my own path, then he probably wasn't my God after all.
I wish you the best, and I hope you find what you are looking for. Whether that is God or a belief in anything else, whatever makes you happy and content....

Answer 3

I am a Christian. I believe God is real because I feel his prescence and his hand in my life. I cannot produce you some physical picture of God. I cannot show you where he lives or anything like that. However, I beleive that by looking at the simplest things we can see God. I can see God in the laugh of a child. I can see God in the flowers outside and bird singing her song freely in the morning. I see God in the sunset. You know, I never thought orange, pink, and purple could go together until I looked at a sunset closely. Wow! They are beautiful. God is not logical. It isn't logical that he continues to love us no matter how many times we mess up. It isn't logical that he sent someone else to pay for our sins. But, it doesn't mean that it isn't true. Romans 1:20-21 says, "Ever since the creation of the world his eternal power and divine nature, invisible though they are, have been understood and seen through the things he has made. So they are without excuse; for though they knew God, they did not honor him as God or g ive thanks to him, but they becamse futile in t heir thinking, and their senseless mind was darkened." Bring the light of Christ back into your mind. Look around you. All of God's creation give proof to his existence. If you want to talk, I'd be happy to listen.

Answer 4

You were born into a religion and was never taught how to have a relationship with Christ Jesus.

Many get caught up in rituals and never open the Holy Bible to read for themselves. You need not be discouraged and just learn to walk by faith not by sight. God is very real and does exist. You allow your emotions to waver like the ocean waves instead of trusting that the God of all still sits on the Throne regardless of all the opinons you see here on Y.A

Start reading books that teach and help you to get over this hump. Read from authors like Charles Stanley, John MacArthur and Beth Moore .

Answer 5

God did not let you down.... Catholicism is a poor teacher of God's love.

I once felt that no one loved me, I was young not able to grasp what it was all about.

I thought I needed to work hard to be good and be accepted. Hard as I tried I got the human result used and only seeing some sort of false love.

It is hard to not see, touch or feel but these things can happen in your heart. I see God because of what Jesus did for me. My sins where paid for allowing God to connect with me as a sinless soul.

I see even more clearly as he also placed a part of Him in me The Holy Spirit

Answer 6

well humans are spiritual creatures created in God's (moral) image, we have a longing to find God, but rember there is someone out there who wants to confuse you, I'll put up a couple of scrilptures for you to think on, if you wish you can email me a [e-mail]

(Acts 20:29-30) . . .I know that after my going away oppressive wolves will enter in among YOU and will not treat the flock with tenderness, 30 and from among YOU yourselves men will rise and speak twisted things to draw away the disciples after themselves. . .

(Colossians 2:8) . . .Look out: perhaps there may be someone who will carry YOU off as his prey through the philosophy and empty deception according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary things of the world and not according to Christ;


Now remember Jesus was a Jew, & he taught from the Bible, which was the OT , the NT is really nothing new, so lets look as some realities that JEsus taught.

the condition of the dead (Ecclesiastes 9:5) 5 For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all, neither do they anymore have wages, because the remembrance of them has been forgotten.

Jesus knew this fact, but lets see how he used it to show people of the promise of the ressurection here ( you should read the whole cha of John 11) he showed
(John 11:5) 5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Laz′a‧rus. . .
(John 11:11-14) . . .journeying there to awaken him from sleep.” 12 Therefore the disciples said to him: “Lord, if he has gone to rest, he will get well.” 13 Jesus had spoken, however, about his death. But they imagined he was speaking about taking rest in sleep. 14 At that time, therefore, Jesus said to them outspokenly: “Laz′a‧rus has died. . .

so now Jesus has explained that the sleep of Lazirus was death.
(John 11:22-24) . . .And yet at present I know that as many things as you ask God for, God will give you.” 23 Jesus said to her: “Your brother will rise.” 24 Martha said to him: “I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day.”

she knew of a future ressurection

then Jesus proceeded to ressurect Lazirus

now the point of this is to show you that there's more to the Bible then most would have you believe, what you need is to have an accurate bible knowledge I will help you if you email me`

Answer 7

I'll be you believe in electricity; although you've never seen it. But you may have felt it and you've definitely seen its effects.

How could something as complex as the human body, or human mind for that matter, just happen or evolve? Did computers just happen? Or did an engineer have an idea, put it on paper and then someone assemble and test it.

Answer 8

Well Im not going to get into this deep but Ill put my two cents in. First of all being Catholic was the biggest problem. When a religion changes doctrine to meet its needs its nothing more than a cult. Catholicism is a brilliantly disguised cult. Get with a Bible believing church and start to pray about what you are reading and ask for God to reveal Himself to you. He will for you already know that He has no plans to harm you. This is not something to be taken lightly. Dont wait until its to late. Repent and be baptized. Peace out...............

Answer 9

Sounds like deep within, you do believe in God. Don't let Satan discourage you. Pray for guidance. I am Catholic and I wish I knew why you stopped going to mass. Don't believe that there is not another life after this, because there is. Just read your bible and it would be a good idea to look into some of the apparitions of Mary. Read about our Lady of Fatima. That always increases my faith.

Answer 10

Yes, I was in the same boat and became horribly depressed. I began when I read the book Ishmail by Daniel Quinn. I soon realized that my concept of God was conformed by religion and viewed God with Human characteristics. Then I realized everything is fine and divine and not dualistic like people say. Everyone came from the source and will return. We all formed into matter from energy, we will all return. We ALL have the same fate. "God" doesn't love any group or religion more than the other. No one or group owns God. Divine Mother will be there for you and everybody else.