Why do some guys tell everyone but you that they like you. I am in my mid 20's and still don't get why some guys my age, prefer to tell everyone else around me that they like me, instead of telling me themselves. Why do some guys do this? Why don't they just approach women directly? Don't they realize that every women is secretly waiting to be sweept off her feet (let's not lie here ladies). How can I get them to change -without having to make the first real "move" (aside from saying hi and smiling).
2007-07-14 15:12:21 · 26 answers · asked by breezy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
......just be yourself everything will be alright ...... ll
2007-07-22 03:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by I AM BACK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a variety of reasons why this may be the case.There is the fear of rejection.This is followed by the abuse that some women seem to enjoy inflicting on hapless men.But some men are just so shy and the thought of talking to another girl paralyzes them.However, you being a progressive woman can approach a man.After all, this is the 21st century and woman can make the first move or do the asking.the next time you see him ,smile(introduce your selves), say hi. and then take it from there. At this point you have broken the ice and conversation should be much easier now.Good luck and if things work out, don't forget to invite me to the wedding---smile out loud until your cheeks get tired
2007-07-14 23:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot. That is not realistic in modern day times. If you are so selfish that everything needs to be your way then forget about having a relationship with a guy because it is not going to happen
It is the girl's responsibility to first show interest. You do that by saying "Hi", smiling, and making eye contact. In the past from that point on, it was the guy's responsibility to ask.
However, in modern society because of rampant feminism guys are taught that is sexual harassment. It starts in school where little boys are punished and drugged so they will sit still, whisper, and act like little girls. That removes any assertiveness out of guys.
If a guys dares to ask you out and you don't approve, then our society teaches him that he is a pervert, that he is an abuser, that he is a potential rapist, and without a doubt you will call him creepy. Under such harsh conditions, many guys will not take the risk and ask.
Women cannot have it both ways. They cannot expect a guy to ask them for a date, if they are going to punish him and stigmatize him as some creepy crawler, should they decide he is not their type. Yes, I know, you claim you would never do that. However, most likely you do and in any event it happens often enough, so how is the guy to know?
Therefore, you should give him your phone number and say, “Call me." As a woman you are not taking any risk. He will not threaten you with charges of sexual harassment and he will not call you a pervert. Don't expect him to take a far greater risk than you are willing to take.
2007-07-22 05:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy am I glad that you said some guys, as there are a few of us "in your face" types out here. What I call the in your face types are those that are NOT afraid of rejection (hey sometimes it happens) and NOT afraid of the normal "ice breaking" of a meeting. Not rude or obnoxious, just your forward type of guy. Now there are also those that are the opposite. Afraid of rejection, unskilled in the ways of talking to the opposite sex, lack of self esteem type. This is more common in those guys out there under say 25 or so I would say. This hon is what I would say that you are dealing with right now. If your really interested in him, It really doesn't take
anything really out of the norm for you to get the ball rolling in a case like this. I would say that the next time that you see him, simply say something like, "Hey when are you EVER going to ask me out?" Hell I have even used that with girls that I had never met before! Even if it doesn't happen, then it's a great ice breaker and the other party will recognize you as a fun loving (slightly comical) person on they're level. Thanks for your question. It's one of those that make my day more worthwhile.
2007-07-14 22:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are SCARED of rejection or shy. Some are immature. So just like in high school they ask their friends or your friends to do the work for them. I have four brothers, so I just asked them. Two of my brothers are outgoing and will talk to anyone. The other two are quiet and have a hard time approaching people let alone a beautiful women.
Just my idea on the subject. Good question!
2007-07-14 22:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by ????? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it, some women have bigger balls then men and they are waiting on us to make the first move because they get all stupid, but for some reason we like it. Guys try to play it cool for some reason so they don't end up looking like an ass. The one that DOES tell you he likes you, he's a keeper and a real man!
2007-07-14 22:20:58 · answer #6 · answered by Sammie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Basically, men hate and fear rejection with a passion...that's why they tell everyone else first...they want to make sure that you're interested first...that way they know that they won't be completely shut down when making the first move...it's a common defense mechanism amongst all males, so don't take it personal...
2007-07-14 22:21:53 · answer #7 · answered by Storm 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
fear of rejection is much stronger in men than in women.its a lame fact but there is nothing we can do about it. guys really love it when they are approached by women. its a bold act and guys love bold women. most of the men arent gutsy enough to do that. but the man who sweeps a woman off her feet is a true man!
2007-07-22 16:16:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're just shy, not everybody is so free and open with their feelings, girls do this too. They figure that if they tell other people, it will get back to you, and they can find out your feelings without getting hurt. If you like them great, if not, they can pretend like they never said it. It's just a safety net.
2007-07-22 22:23:03 · answer #9 · answered by Julie C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is no other way, guys LUV it when girls make the 1st move, it's almost completely acspected of them!
Of course we would luv to be swept off our feet, but we need to make a little effort to get things moving, then the uy feels comfortable and all falls into place.
2007-07-14 22:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys have trouble talking about their feelings--it's a cultural/social thing. Don't worry about being assertive. If a guy's into you, he won't approach you & then he's not worth the effort.
2007-07-22 18:17:54 · answer #11 · answered by karebare_1999 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋