My boyfriend is twenty years older than me and I love him. What do you think?

Question

I'm twenty six. He's forty six, an actor, writer and therapist. I'm a therapist too. We seem so similar and yet there's a twenty year age gap. I love being with him, but people sometimes get wierd about these things. What do you think?

Answer 1

congrats?

Answer 2

Looking at your own statement - "My boyfriend is twenty years older than me and I love him"
What's more important, really?
The age gap of 20 years, or the love you share?
My partner is 10 years younger than me, but with me being 28 and her 18, I dare say the comments we each get are very similar.
Ignore them.
If anything they're jealous that you have a bond that is strong enough to exist outside of societies accepted "norms". You are both adults, both in love, and doing nothing wrong, so why should anyone elses opinion matter?

I have a leather jacket that is now 12 years old. It's comfortable, warm, has some sentimental value, and is, in my opinion great.
Do you think I'm going to get rid of it because some random fool who doesn't know any better says it's too old or not in style?

No. And the same principle applies. You have your man because of what he means to you and how he makes you feel, not because of how asthetically pleasing you two are together in public.
Enjoy your love! And remind the naysayers that there's many a good tune played on an old fiddle :D

Answer 3

Well, from my experience dating two different men with that big of an age gap (and I am exactly your age), I would say that's great but tread carefully or else you will get hurt. Make sure you understand what he wants from the relationship because you both may have different ideas of where the relationship is going due to the age gap and due to both of you being at different points in your life. Just make sure that you don't get hurt if he doesn't want something serious with you particularly if that's what you want. If you both want the same things, then that's great! Don't worry about what other people think although there will be some opposition. Enjoy your time together because life is short. Do whatever makes you happy.

Answer 4

Real love doesn't discriminate. You two seem to have a lot in common. That is part of what attracts you to him. The guys your age (and my age (I am 30) seem to be so immature. Older men are more mature and settled down. They are not out there wanting to be the weekend warrior drinker or out there acting like a man whore. Older men seem to know how to treat a woman better. Some people will get on here and say that you must be looking for a father figure or that you are looking for a sugar daddy. They are stupid. Just ignore them. You don't need anyone's permission to live your life for yourself. Don't even worry about what people think when they see you and your boyfriend together. Just relax and live your life for yourself. If this relationship is meant to be then it will be. If it isn't meant to be then it won't work out. You will never know how something will turn out unless you give it a try. I am happy for you. I just wish that I had someone in my life to feel the same way about. Being single sucks. Good luck with your man. I hope everything works out exactly how you want it to. Take care.

Answer 5

The point is you are both adults and love each other greatly. And you have something in common and my word- your boyfriend being an actor, a writer AND a therapist? Wow, you ve really stumbled across someone quite amazing. Twenty isn t soooo great anyway... something along thirty or forty then... meh. But twenty- do not worry! Hey, you re adults and my word love does not get by so easily nowadays! All those arrogant, ignorant pricks who say your partner s a pervert or you re jailbait can go sod off!! It sounds to me that you re happy and in a healthy relationship so that s what matters

Answer 6

Age gap relationships are just like any other romantic relationship. My husband is 14 years younger than me (me-39, him-25) and we have been very happily married for almost 4 years. We get a few raised eyebrows every now and then but so what. He is a good person and we connect on a very deep spiritual level like no one else I've ever been with. Who cares about age. Love overcomes anything. There is a good site devoted to age gap relationship advice. It's http://www.agelesslove.com . Stop by. You will find plenty of friendly support and advice. I hope you give this relationship a chance. It could be the best thing you ever do. Good luck!

Answer 7

Hi Teardrop,

Bit of a pragmatist me - here's my take (For what it's worth)

Pro's: -

* Generally older men will be more loyal as they've done all the 'wild' stuff

* Financially secure, as they've had more time to accumalate wealth.

* More experienced 'romantically' if you know what I mean (Wink!)

* Will be able to offer emotional support / advice, quite simply because they've had more experience of life and will be able to draw from the lessions they've learnt themselves.

Cons: -

* Youl will probably always be wondering what your freinds think.

* Say you want children when you're 30 for example, he'll be 50. When they go off to college / university he'll be nearing 70.

* Intimacy is an important part of any relationship. When you're in your 40's, you'll still be sexually active. At 60 your partner may be less interested.

I'm actually drawing from my own experience here, I'm engaged to a wonderful girl who is 12 years younger than me, the con's I've listed represent my own fears.

Ultimately, if the relationship is just a 'now' relationship, then just enjoy it. If he loves you, makes you laugh,and is loyal, that's pretty much all that matters.

If you see the relationship turning into something long term, then bear in mind some of the issues that may face you in 20 years time.

Follow your instinct .

Hope you find happiness.

Boris

Answer 8

There is 17 years between me and my husband (him being the elder I'm 28 he's 45)
We have been together 7 and a half years married for 5 years and I'm happier than I've ever been in a relationship age doesn't matter as long as you love each other and are very happy together.

Don't let peoples opinions stop you from having a chance of a good loving happy relationship......as one of them is very hard to find.

So its what you think that matters nobody else if it doesn't bother you or your partner go for it :)

My mum and Dad have the same age difference between them as i do with my husband and they have been married for nearly 30 years!

Good luck hope you find your happiness :)

Answer 9

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Answer 10

There is a 10 year difference between my partner and I and sometimes I feel worried what people think when they find out, even though there is no visible age difference between us. Just learn to ignore what judgements other people will place on you (its hard I know) and determine your relationship based on your own feelings and his. At 26 you are an adult and so is he. I wish you happiness and peace.

Answer 11

I'm 46 years old too. So, I shall end my single life (yes, I am) and think about all those ladies out there between 26 and 46 who I could have.

I know of a couple where he is 62 and she is 39 or 40.