and now he is scared to hold his 6 month old child he wont even go see him or take him to his house unless, the only time he will go talk to him is if someone else is there because he is scared he might have somthing come over him and he might hurt his child, I know he would never have the heart to he is a very sweet boy(he is 15 almost 16) and he loves his kid(all kids with that fact) but he heard some where that a rape victum will most often rape other people, how can I show him he will not hurt his son, because I know he would rather die then hurt him, his sons stroler was pushed out infront of a car by a drunk man who was stumbleing down the street once and my friend got hit by the car so he could roll the stroller over to me so i know he wouldn't hurt him what should I do
my friend misses his kid he has pictures of him every where and he only had him because the babys mom thought she had cancer and she wanted to leave a baby behind and my friend cryed after they "made the baby"
2007-07-14 11:22:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your friend is still traumatised by the horrible and terrifying things that have happened to him. He isn't thinking rationally because he can't process it all on his own. It's difficult for any victim of sexual abuse to seek help, especially for men. The suicide rate for male rape victims is much higher for men than for women. The fact that your friend is afraid that he may hurt his own son is a reflection on how much he loves his child and the pain he is still feeling. Try Googling, support for male rape victims. Maybe it could be a good first step so he can still remain anonymous. Sounds like you're a great friend, I'm sure with your support he'll get through this. Good luck.
2007-07-14 16:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to discuss his fears with a professional counselor or therapist. It sounds to me like he has unresolved issues from what happened to him and the only way to relieve the fear and let go of the past and move on it to deal with it, which he may not have ever done properly. By doing it now, he will help himself and his child because he can heal his wounds and be there emotionally and wholly in his child's life. I'm studying Human services and Phychology and I've read several case studies similar to this in many books, it seems very normal for a victim to have these fears; especially one who was very young and especially if he has never received the proper channels to release to pain he feels from his own experience. I hope your friend is well, the best of luck to you all.
2007-07-21 22:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by Angel Tears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your friend seems to still be suffering from the affests f this tragidy. Maybe he could find a good counceler that could get him past some of his fears. In the mean time to make him more comfortable he could have some one there to be his support when he sees the baby to kind of calm is fears and dicover that he isn't bad and to build his confidance. he should see the child try his hardest to be the best DAD ever.
2007-07-20 13:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by jlkorky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's ok. He needs counseling to deal with all of the stuff that getting abused and having a kid do to you. Sometimes having a kid can make the victim recall the abuse and it's scary. It can make you think all kinds of crazy things. A good counselor will help him work it out.
2007-07-14 18:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by Kat H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well that was hard to read...it's not true that rape victims will rape others! I mean jeez! He has no sexual feelings for kids he has nothing to worry about. Does he really think his body is going to rape a child when he is so against it? He needs to talk to a sex abuse counsler. ASAP.
2007-07-14 18:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Celesta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What State do you live in? Because I want to avoid it at all cost. Did this babies mom rape this kid also? Is that why he cried?
2007-07-14 18:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to talk to a professional therapist about his fears. Not all victims of sexual abuse end up abusing their own kids or someone else's. He needs to be there for his child or he will grow up thinking his dad doesn't care about him.
2007-07-14 18:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs psychiatric help to have the chance to live a normal life. There are all kinds if programs are out there.
2007-07-21 22:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by Robert Mak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud him for realizing he "may" have a problem. That takes a lot of courage. He apparently needs to talk to a therapist. God Bless Him!!!!
2007-07-14 19:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by ndnquah 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
youu should suggest that he talk to a proffesional about his fears. but i think that he'll be fine the more time he spends with his son the more confident and comortable he'll become with him.
2007-07-18 23:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by autumn a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋