2007-07-14 10:49:08 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Generally, people who are engaged begin to discuss how their 2 separate lives (including family) will be merged into ONE. Getting engaged means that you are announcing your intent to be married. The engagement ring is a visible symbol to the rest of the world (or community). Getting engaged is a time for announcing your love to the rest of the world and asking them to celebrate with you.
So how does it make any sense to hide an engagement?
Why is he setting up barriers between you and his family? Are you going to get married in secret? Eventually, they will know, and probably be hurt by the fact that the two of you did not tell them.
If he is embarrassed by not being able to afford a ring right now, then why not just wait and get engaged when he is comfortable doing so?
Did he perhaps not quite understand what getting engaged meant? Have the 2 of you talked about what getting married means?
In the rare case that he is legally an adult and has severed all ties with his parents, then you should be willing to listen to his explanations of why he had to do so. Then I guess you just need to decide if you agree with his decisions, and whether you want to be in a marriage with no family on one side. For example, your kids would not have those grandparents.
Chances are, he is still a kid, and not ready to take on all the responsibilities of adulthood. He may honestly think he is ready, but not being able to stand firm on a decision he is sure about and accept all the responsibilities that go with it indicates he really isn't.
And if he expected you to just say ok without him having good reasons and without discussion, now is a good time to let him know that is not how you expect to be treated.
If he just got carried away with what he was saying when you were getting somewhat intimate, he should be able to admit that. It is best to make big decisions when you are both most able to be objective and focus on the impact of those decisions on your future.
2007-07-14 12:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by scc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be totally heart broken if I had to hide my engagement. Why doesn't he want his parents to know? I not sure that there is any logical reason for that. Marriage is not something that should start out as being hidden. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-07-14 17:52:50 · answer #2 · answered by WorldTraveler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something is up with that. have you ever tried asking why? don't be scared. learn to communicate with him because that's one of the main reason relationships don't last- lack of communication. if he can't tell his parents or he doesn't want you to tell yours you shouldn't marry him. it sounds like you guys are too young so that could be a reason why. so think about this before you get married. other than than wish you well on your choice
2007-07-14 17:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by jdukenumber1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! If he can't be proud (and isn't mature enough) to tell everyone he's going to marry me, I'll stay single.
2007-07-14 17:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tatum S, Well hon that is a danger sign,just say no !
2007-07-14 17:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋