my mother constantly says mean and embarassing things about me both in front of my friends and in private.. ?

Question

its really hurtful to hear and sometimes i just want to cry. a few days ago my mom's friend told my mom that I resembled her a lot in body shape and how i walk. instead of taking it as a compliment, she loudly bursts out in front of my friend and her mom, "wow im not as fat as she is, am I?," i tried to laugh it off but the situation became very awkward and i coudl tell my friend's mom was a bit startled. She constantly has sporadic outbursts of mean comments like you're fat, why are you so stupid, how come your grades suck...It really is hurtful and i don't know how to handle it anymore

Answer 1

What is wrong with some parents? Have they ever stopped to wonder why God gave them a brain? Tell your Mom it is time to grow up!!

Answer 2

Your mother is being abusive. Has she always been this hateful and mean? Could she be suffering from some sort of mental illness? Many people do get this way when they have a mental illness. Hopefully you have some other relative you can talk to about this. Is your father still around?

I am not sticking up for your mom but if she does have mental illness she cannot help it and does need help herself. If she is just plain mean you will either have to decide if you can stick it out until you are old enough to leave or if you need to contact another relative about leaving home.

I feel very badly for you. My mother went through a period in her life when she was absolutely hateful to me and now that I am older I realize that she must have had some type of major problem that I did not know about. She did straighten up and was find later on. I do wish now that I had confronted her with the horrible things she said. She may have confided in me at the time.

Bless you honey, I do know what you are going through.

Answer 3

You need to sit down and have a long chat with your mom. Go out for coffee or for a walk somewhere. Tell her how you are feeling and that the things she says make you feel hurt and uncomfortable. Make sure that you have examples of what she has done and present it to her in a way that she doesn't feel like she is being attacked--so keep your voice at a constant level, otherwise the conversation will be over before it starts. If you feel like crying then do it. I think that your mom needs to see what she has done to you. Also, ask her what she thinks she needs to do to improve your relationship with her and ask if you can give her some suggestions too. If she is willing to change, she will sit and chat with you and be your MOM not a FRIEND. I hope this helps and no matter what happens, keep your head high.

Answer 4

Your mother has a problem. This is abuse. There is no justification for this behavior. Try to think of her as sick. She may even need medication for this. It's hard to say. You might try standing up for yourself. It depends on your situation. Your mother may be violent. I don't know. But sometimes people go on abusing because they can. There's no cost so why stop? This stuff your mother is saying is not true, it's just her opinion. You might try pointing that out to her. Say, "When I want your OPINION I'll ask for it. Otherwise I'll ask you to keep it to yourself." Or another good one I heard is "Mom, you really shouldn't talk about yourself that way." Which may be mostly true, she's projecting her own percieved shortcomings onto you. If you are old enough you can just get away from it. You can inform your mother that if she's going to talk that way we can just not talk anymore.
This abuse is certainly not good for you. Do whatever you can to get away from it. You are a beautiful person and you don't deserve this, in spite of what your mother THINKS. Your mother's not God. She's a person with some problems.

Answer 5

What your mom is doing is called 'verbal abuse' and this has to be stopped. If you are being humiliated in front of your friends, then you need to go to her in private and tell her how you feel, just like you did in here. Don't be afraid to express your feeling or your thoughts to her. She needs to know that her words are hurting you greatly. It doesn't sound like your mom has any respect for herself of talking the way she does about you in front of your friend's mom. If you can't do this in person, then write it in a letter and give it to her.

You just hang in there and be strong. Your mom is not doing her job by loving you for who you are. She could be acting like she does because maybe her parents did the same to her and now she is doing the same to you. But, still, it doesn't give her the right for her to behave like that to you when she is not acting like an adult and a loving mom to you. And that's where you come in to tell her how a loving mother should treat her kids.

If it doesn't go well after telling her, then you may want to tell a close relative so maybe they can have a talk with her. I really think your mom needs 'loving skills' so she can be the mom you want her to be.

Answer 6

First off, she's the one with the problem. She should be nurturing you, encouraging you, helping you. At a "good" time you have to tell your mom that when she ridicules you it makes you feel hurt, worthless and hopeless and that you need her to try to stop all the negative comments about you. She'll probably get an attitude--but keep doing it at another time when she is calm. And you have to be calm and not cry or scream either. Do you have an aunt or grandmom who could talk to her.

Answer 7

Wow....Um...maybe you should talk to your mom and say "Hey, some of the things you say are really hurtful!" and if she says some thing like.."i don't know what your talking about" or "what do you mean"or "how?" or "only because it is true", then you should talk to your Dad, OR you could go talk to someone about your awful problem! Like a really good friend, Aunt, Uncle, Sister, Brother, a school counselor, or a paid counselor.
Any of the above could work!

And i hope everything works out!!! =)

Answer 8

What you should consider doing is talking with your mom and explaining to her that the things she says hurts you a lot. And ask her why she feels its necessary to say these things about you. Because to me it sounds like your mom is being a bully to you! And yes that really doesn't make too much sense but when you think about it has your mother ever told you about her past because sometimes problems from her past can effect her judgments towards you and others. I really hope this helps! =)

Answer 9

I know how you feel. When I join my mom for dinner with her friends, since I'm like the only teen there, I start annoying her (those things when I'm bored) and she starts b!tching and screaming at me and I really went under the table and cried to myself once. It's annoying. She also says crap like I don't do good enough and I'm not that type for stuff and etc. It's really annoying until I show her and she shuts up. Find something you can prove her wrong about and she will shut up.

Answer 10

Whoa. I'd sit her down and tell her how you feel, if she doesn't stop, i guess you just have to come back at her with some of your own. When her friend says that ya'll resemble each other and she says, I'm not as fat as her am i? just come back and be like, No you're not mom, you're much bigger than I am. And when she asks why are you so stupid...just be like IDK, but I'm smarter than you are, I know that.