I am 28 y/old Christian who grew up in a Christian home where love was shown, but kissing, hugging was never expressed between my parents.My mother never spoke of these things to me.
When I did start dating just kissing caused guilt. At 22 I lost my virginity; 23 was raped; 24 was assaulted; and at 25 had a very sexually agressive bf who did not respect me.Since I grew up believing guys only wanted 1 thing and so submitted to them without allowing sex because I felt I had no choice.Because of this I deal with depression and an eating disorder.With help I have been able to deal with much of the guilt.
I met a man I care about and, knowing my past, shows me respect and kindness. I chose to make love with him for the first time and I felt like I was worth being loved by a man and not just used for my body. How can this be wrong? Conviction not this feeling I am a unlovable person come from God. I am not asking for people to agree with my choice. I just need help w/t other guilt.
2007-07-14 08:25:21 · 15 answers · asked by Megan M 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Check out the book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy, and visit her website www.authenticgirl.com. The Lord is faithful to cleanse us of our past but it must be our greatest desire to obey Him and glorify Him in all that we do. Ask yourself does this glorify my Divine Prince? Would it break His heart to see me doing this? Our God is jealous of our hearts and desires us to have hearts undivided before Him. But having a divinely inspired intimacy with Him is a journey in itself, it includes many hard choices, many sacrifices. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves how far from the line of temptation and sin am I willing to stay in order to fully glorify my Prince in heaven. I understand that sometimes the desire for affirmation is strong and we often get caught up in the pursuit of being beautiful in the eyes of the world and forget about our truer calling to be beautiful before Christ. My prayer is that in seeking the Lord you will discover His true everlasting beauty, that as you learn more about His love for you, you will be overcome by longing to be like Him. For He is faithful to make us beautiful as we become more and more like Him.
God bless!
2007-07-14 08:43:14 · answer #1 · answered by All 4 His Glory 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry , you said no Christians and I am not a Christian
but can I give you a hug * hugs *
you havent been shown affection , and im not saying your parents were bad .... thats not what I mean
but no kissing ? no hugging ?
that saddens me
it is little wonder you ended up in horrible relationships
and to hear about your rape ... thats just so sad
please grab some happiness while you have it
sex or no sex ... it doesnt matter
do what feels right for you
after all you have been through .... dont you think your God would want you to be happy ?
I seriously hope things work out lovely for you .... you deserve it xx
2007-07-14 15:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
God is all loving so I can't see why you should feel guilty about doing something based on love. And you know from experience there are worse things you can do then make love to someone you love and care about. You need to look in your heart and you will discover what is right for you.
Good luck
After some thought I think you should read your bible through and through, read sites like this, then look into your heart and decide what is right. Or whatever comes first.
2007-07-14 15:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Magical name 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is good that you have found a man that truly loves you and cares for you. If he truly does love you, then he should be content on waiting for you until marriage. God's Word clearly says that sex before marriage is wrong. I am not trying to make you feel guilty. When we have the Holy Spirit in us, we have no room for guilt. The bible says there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. With that being said, we still all sin. My advice is to confess your sin, and do not focus on sex until you are married. Right now, what you are doing is justifying having sex before marriage by saying " he loves me, and he is not just using me, how can this be wrong?" You cannot justify sin.
2007-07-14 15:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by biggestjesusfan, † Cat P.W. † 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are a believer than trust in salvation and instead of feeling guilty do your best to avoid sin. If you love this man you many wish to marry him, he sounds like a great guy, and i pray that he knows the Lord. Remember, Jesus loves you and that he died for you. Rejoice that he cares so deeply for you and share with this man in your life how you feel about the guilt that you had. You never know where it may lead.
2007-07-14 15:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by L.C. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Fornication is a sin against oneself. Paul said, "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" I Corinthians 6:18. The body of the believer belongs to God. He has been bought with a price and is to glorify God while in the flesh. All of this is clearly taught in this chapter. Fornication is generally committed. in private. This leads one to believe that, since no one knows, or since the act was committed with a prostitute or call girl, that the sin goes unnoticed and the consequences are allayed. This is just not so. Pre-marital sex? An effort to reach compatibility? An innocent game to play? Not according to the word. God says it is fornication, sin, and those who commit such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. It is not sex which God condemns, but it's misuse outside the marriage bond.
I think you know this already but are hoping for approval of what you have already done, from other Christians. I am sorry for what you have been through, but I know girls who have went through a lot more and didn't use that as an excuse to have sex without marriage.
I love you with all my heart, in Christ, but you need to repent from this sin and don't repeat it until and if you marry this man.
2007-07-14 15:40:27 · answer #6 · answered by dreamdress2 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is not that you're wrong, but you're selling yourself short yet once again.
You're coming out of very difficult sexual times. Jesus had an encounter with a woman who was begging for scraps and this woman said to Jesus, surly, if you can spare the dog some scrapes you can spare me some too. Well, Jesus showed her that she is worth more than scrapes. Deep down I think you know you deserve more than scrapes too!
IMO, having sex before marriage (even when it is respectful) is the same as sitting at a table begging for scrapes. You might not think you deserve more ... but ask yourself in your heart and soul if you want the sex or an intimate relationship in marriage that gives you a place at the dinner table instead of the floor.
2007-07-14 15:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The other guilt is in the past and should be left there, we all have skeletons in the closet.If you read Luke 24:47, it states "there is forgiveness of sins for all who turn to to me. turn to him,ask for forgiveness, you must believe that he will forgive you, put it in the past and live a beautiful life. Hebrews 4: 15-16 says we have a high priest of ours who understand our weaknesses,2 Corinthians 12:9, states that his power is made perfect in weakness. Jesus is all for you can you meet him to trust that he will not go back on his word. May you have peace and peace be upon your house.
2007-07-14 19:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a Christian, you know that sex is to be saved for marriage. There is nothing wrong with kissing as long as it doesn't bring you too close to giving in. You will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
2007-07-14 15:48:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Boy did the church and the brainwashing of your parents ever do a number on you, hon. See a counselor for an attitude adjustment... a few sessions ought to help you a ton... and it has nothing to do with Christianity, it has to do with your self - esteem, which is in dire need of help.
.
2007-07-14 15:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋