pain - the only thing thats real?

Question

all my life i've been searching for something. I was 8 years old when I was sent 120 miles south to a boarding school where the rest of the kids bummed me. I've never had a girl friend and they thing I am evil. Why? In the end I exercise to extremes to the point where my feet bleed and I can feel nothing. Pain is the only thing that seems real for me. Why? Why do i have to suffer?

Answer 1

We all suffer but we must also know that overcoming suffering is also possible. Below I have attached the 'four noble truths' the basic foundation of Buddhism. I'm not a Buddhist in any strict way and I do not pretend to know the path that well. I do not want to push 'religion' (if you can call it that) on anyone but I hope that this will at least open up a doorway to the cessation of suffering.


The Four Noble Truths

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.



1. Life means suffering.

To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. During our lifetime, we inevitably have to endure physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury, tiredness, old age, and eventually death; and we have to endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and depression. Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence. This means we are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception. Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things. The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursue of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging. Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow. Objects of attachment also include the idea of a "self" which is a delusion, because there is no abiding self. What we call "self" is just an imagined entity, and we are merely a part of the ceaseless becoming of the universe.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

The cessation of suffering can be attained through nirodha. Nirodha means the unmaking of sensual craving and conceptual attachment. The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion. Nirodha extinguishes all forms of clinging and attachment. This means that suffering can be overcome through human activity, simply by removing the cause of suffering. Attaining and perfecting dispassion is a process of many levels that ultimately results in the state of Nirvana. Nirvana means freedom from all worries, troubles, complexes, fabrications and ideas. Nirvana is not comprehensible for those who have not attained it.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

There is a path to the end of suffering - a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification (asceticism); and it leads to the end of the cycle of rebirth. The latter quality discerns it from other paths which are merely "wandering on the wheel of becoming", because these do not have a final object. The path to the end of suffering can extend over many lifetimes, throughout which every individual rebirth is subject to karmic conditioning. Craving, ignorance, delusions, and its effects will disappear gradually, as progress is made on the path.

Answer 2

I too know how you feel, like so many others in the world you feel alone, but you are not! There are hundreds if not thousands of people who like you torture themselves because they don't know what else to do. They blame themselves and this is your way and others way to release the pain of a worse type. IN YOUR HEAD. It never stops and it never gets better, with help and advice it will. I used to self harm for yrs but i had to channel all the pain, anger, hatred and the rest into something more productive.
I used to bake, paint,shop (i don't advise this one, very expensive oops) and talk, talk and talk again also write , write all your feelings down. I found this really help full as on good days i would read what i had written before and see how far i had come. That in itself makes you feel better.

You really do need professional help though, you cant go through this alone.

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT

Say it to yourself all the time.
Please seek help, what people say and do cant help really but only you can. You have made your first step now and the next is allot easier.

Well done keep it up.

Answer 3

I would suggest a few things here really.

We all go through hard times, and it seems like you need an outlet thats not physical as you noted you exercising till your feet bleed, why not pick up a constructive hobby of some sort? many people find that trying to find different outlets for our anger or depression can really help, hurting yourself will only add to it.

Also, maybe talk to a councilor of some sort, it's always nice to have someone to talk to. maybe also you could get involved in some community projects? I know a few people personally who were having issues that you spoke of and it was through the act of working in the community and helping others that they found happiness and fulfillment.

Either way, I think talking to someone who has experience helping people with your issues would be a good first step for you in the right direction. Either way, I hope you find a constructive way to deal with your problems and wish you well.

Answer 4

You are choosing to live this way. Maybe part of you feeds off of being the outcast or the "evil" one. You need to lighten up. I think if you were to try some volunteer work or something similar, you would start to feel a lot better. Try volunteering for a humane society or hospital, not only would helping others help you, you just might meet a lady!

Answer 5

Aww *hug* thats terrible but you dont have to suffer no-one does find something like a hobbie that you enjoy and i would suggest seeing your doctor and getting a refferal to a councellor from him you need to talk about this. Good Luck and i'm here for you if you ever want to talk x x x

Answer 6

You don't have to suffer. Get counselling of some sort. You can't live your life like this. Let go of the past and concentrate on the future. The best of luck to you.

Answer 7

As in someone experiencing something so painfully traumatic that they are completely numb to all other emotions? Then yes the pain is very real to them.

Answer 8

None of what has happened is your fault. So stop punishing yourself!

As other people are saying, you are going to need help to move on. Your GP should be able to point you in the right direction.

Answer 9

you dont have to suffer please go and see your gp as you cant carry on like this yes for you the pain is real even though you dont feel it physically you feel it mentally i suffer from depression and i have spots which i pick till they bleed its like a realease for you from your problems you get a buzz from this but i end with blood on my clothing changing tops 2/3 times in a day please get help

Answer 10

wow,
you seem to have a lot going on in your head.
if you need anybody to talk to, i'm here.
i may not have a pych degree but i do understand people.
it seems like you've never experienced love, love would be unbelievably real and good for you... go look for someone to love you, even if its a family love or a friend love, you need love.
and email me if you every want to talk.