Guys- How would you feel if you kinda got back together with your ex and..?

Question

My ex and i are sort of back together- Should i tell him that im not gonna have s** with him until we get back together officially. . when we dated before becoming bf/gf i didnt sleep with him. i only slept with him when we were bf/gf. so i want us to get our title back officially before i sleep with him. things with him were great when we were dating but like once we became bf/gim thinking about 2 weeks then i should mention it im jus about right he needs to see theres stuff he misses out on when hes not my bf. witholding sex might not be the best option because maybe hell just say it because of that. plus we both equally enjoy our s** life. i know that he wants to be back together but i feel that i need to show him that he gets more by being exclusive. telling him wont do the trick. . he likes me more than sex and were not in love lol. just like each other a lot.
f we fought a lot so i understand his hesitation. im just not sure how to get that point across without saying it

MY THOUGHTS WERE SINCE WE STARTED OUT WITH ME WITHOLDING UNTIL WE BECAME BF/GF I THINK I SHOULD RESORT BACK TO THAT.

Answer 1

if I got back with my ex.... I would try to make this run smooth and try to not have anything go wrong, but she would have to work on that too

Answer 2

I know you are asking guys to answer this, and since I'm a girl you may not want my opinion, if that is the case, then skip over the rest of this. I have to wonder why, you think that it's more important to be in an exclusive relationship before having sex, instead of being in love. As an older woman, I have to be honest and say that your thinking here is way off track. I'm not sure the guys will agree with this but if they were honest with you, they'd tell you (i know this from years of experience) a guy will tell you just about anything to have sex with you. What is to stop this guy from telling you that you and he are exclusive and then go out on you? If he's not in love with you then what is to stop him? The whole love, commitment thing is what usually keeps people from cheating. Sounds to me as tho neither one of you are really commited to the relationship as much as you are to the physical part of the relationship. Why waste your time with someone who doesn't want all of you? You could be spending your time making yourself the kind of woman a good man will want to be with 110%. If you don't care enough about yourself to have everything you want from one guy in a commited relationship, then what makes you think a guy will care that much about you? As long as you set your goals low, that's all your gonna get. So in the long run, telling him you expect the two of you to be exclusive or no sex, really doesn't matter. But if sex is all you want, keep thinking and acting that way and it won't be long before you act and look used and abused. I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just giving you some advice that has been hard learned by myself and women I know. I hope you will think about it.

Answer 3

I remember feeling sad when my ex was getting re-married. It's really okay that you feel that way. I think it is normal. Since you say you have not been in contact with him for 3 years, what's the difference now that he is getting married? I think the sadness comes when we realize that the guy has truly moved on and he is now marrying someone else that he loves and that presumably, loves him. We are no longer the ones who "loved them and left them." We have been replaced, literally. And maybe that can feel a little sad. It is also a door to the past closing, because then our history is REALLY final. Over and out. Don't contact him for "closure." You are the one who wants to feel better by contacting him. But he is happy now and living his life the way he should be and the way he wants to live it. Definitely better to leave him alone and move on. I think you recognize that, too. And that you just wanted a confirmation of that.

Answer 4

u say u guys are back together so have a serious talk what do u both want out of or from this relationship that to me seems to be a major issue here i think u want more than sex u say u guys are not in love but really like each other well take the time to get to know each other a way other than sexual

Answer 5

so you KNOW you're not in love...
you KNOW you like each other....

but you want to be EXCLUSIVE to each other...

ok... well it actually depends on what you want from the relationship... if you are not looking for love, it's kinda hard to want commitment..

I believe in the triangular love theory
in which passion/Intimacy/commitment are all together...to form true love..

so if you just like the boy... and you just want to enjoy your sex life, why exactly do you want him to commit? what's gonna happen when you find someone else? you're going to be committed to a relationship with no future..

take it for what it is... you want to have sex.. than do so.. but w/o attachments..
if you are doing it for health reasons.. such as avoiding an STD than discuss with him how you would like to be exclusive once it gets to sex and that if by any chance he finds someone else to let you know....


=)

Answer 6

What a crock of bull...

You are so messed up in the head that this guy should run as fast as he can to get away from your clutches.

There is no hope in you ever having a decent relationship with this fellow. You want a new pair of shoes, "Hummm, how can I work my stuff and get him to buy me some?"

You are a trickster of the most evil sort!

I hope the poor fellow reads your post and slams the door on you for good!

Answer 7

yeah, if ur only or mostly 2gether 4 sex & not love then i dont c y u 2 would hold off on it. i mean, making a guy wait when u r'nt making him wait 4 love. if u were testing his loyalty or love, then i'd say dont have sex just yet, not til ur sure he's ready. but if ur in it 4 the sex, then have sex.

Answer 8

if you fight a lot, why do you want him back, so you can break up again? if you just want sex, you don't need a title. if you aren't in love, what do you base a bf/gf relationship on? maybe you should just be friends.

Answer 9

Wow ...

It seems like you two are in lust .. and far from love ..

Holding back on sex isn't really going to do anything really .

Unless he really wants to be with you just for sex.

Answer 10

well - how would you feel if he did it to you. it is NEVER a good idea to play games with your mate, And using sex as a rewrd or punishment is childish and just wrong. it will backfire in your face and is a good way to lose him forever.