Has anyone ever raised their children in a different religion for their partner?

Question

I'm dating a Jew and I'm not Jewish. Things are going amazingly well, except for one issue. I should preface this by telling you that I think I may marry him, and without this issue I most certainly would. He wants his kids to be Jewish, and I want to introduce both religions. He doesn't want me to convert because I have some Jewish heritage, but was raised Catholic. I want to hear from other people who have done this and how hard it is, because most likely i'll be raising Jewish kids for him. He's willing to do holiday celebrations with my family, and compromise on other things not related to religion if I do this for him. I understand why he feels this way because its been explained to me by many Jews... i just feel like i'll be losing part of myself that under other circumstances I would give to my children.

Answer 1

it suxs when your parents do that i know jewish /catholic

Answer 2

I am Jewish and not only did I date a catholic girl but I married her & she had 2 kids. My family was not very religious but my mother gave me hell and treated my then wife terrible. When we had our daughter together we decided to raise her catholic basically because the 2 kids from her 1st marriage were already catholic so we thought it would be less confusing for her. I did not convert but I celebrated Christmas and all the other holidays with my family. I am now divorced and there is nothing that I en joy more than celebrating Christmas with my daughter. When 2 people get married with different religions it can work but it is very difficult, you really have to sacrifice what you believe in. There is an old saying "LOVE CONQUERS ALL" Good Luck

Answer 3

My daughter-in-law is Jewish. She and my son both do their traditions with the children and it works very well. They celebrate Christmas and Hannukah. Christianity came from Jesus who was Jewish so both traditions go hand in hand. You need to be yourself and give your children an understanding of both religions. My son and his wife were married in a large mansion by a Catholic priest. Her father gave a Jewish blessing and my son stomped on the glass (Jewish custom) The choir sang the Jewish blessing from Fiddler on the Roof. It was beautiful. You will resent it if you can't give your children what you know to be true about Jesus Christ. Resentment doesn't make for a good marriage. Tell him he must compromise. Actually, as a Catholic, the church asks you to bring your children up Catholic just as his religion asks him to bring them up Jewish.

Answer 4

Talk to your partener about raising your children with both Jewish and Catholic religion. It may open them up to many asspects and possibilities in life.

Answer 5

my parents were in a similar situation, and only recently (i'm 27) did i talk to my mom about some of their decisions. my father is Jewish, wanted his children raised Jewish, but himself is not very religious. my mother is a much more spiritually involved person, so she knew it would fall to her. my parents joined their synagogue as i was approaching kindergarden, and my sister and i went through religious school and each did the ritual bath conversion since mom wasn't Jewish. she converted just before my bat-mitzvah in order to participate, and we celebrated Jewish holidays in the home.

the benefit to our situation was that my mom was from england and that side of the family was not as present at holidays unless we went there. i have been to church with that side of the family and celebrated christmas with them, and i see it as quality family time and celebrating what they see as important. my grandparents knew we'd been raised Jewish, but not necessarily my mom's involvement/conversion (or else it just wasn't talked about). we also grew up in a community that didn't have a large Jewish population, so there was a large secular understanding involved.

i guess it depends how religious you are independent of him - whether you think both religions are important or that your children be raised in a religion period. my belief is that you can raise children with values and understandings and a selection of holidays. i think one religion will end up being more dominant than the other, and the less dominant one may end up being the one that your family celebrates, but what are the things that you feel you would be giving up? going to church, celebrating christmas or easter? displaying certain religious items in the home?

my own boyfriend is an atheist/non-religious and wasn't raised in a religion, so although he is not quick to participate and i'm not asking him to convert, we've talked about it and understands that i want to raise my children Jewish.

i wish you the best, and just know there are other people facing the same situation. if either of you belong to a congregation it may be helpful to talk to other families or your spiritual leaders (although i realize that some are not understanding of mixed marriages).

Answer 6

me best friend has a jewish dad and a catholic mom and they just never brought up religion and let the kids pick for themselves...

Answer 7

ok i dont have any children, but my mother raised me and she was christian and my father was catholic. She and my father decided to raise us (my sis and me) by introducing us to both religions, so growing up i went to both curches, did my 1st communion and baptism, went to christian youth groups, ect ect as we got older she allowed us to chose whether or not we wated to confirm ourselfs and catholic, i chose not to, because by learning about both religions i adapted them both into my lifestyle. I think the best way for u and ur husband to do is to raise ur childeren to both religions, and when the're older they should have the decision if they would like to chose one religion or remain with the duel religion lifstyle.