Wedding Reception Help!!!?

Question

My fiances family has alot of children in it, at least 20 (Under 8) and everyone is pregnant again, I do love them, but my mom is paying for a very formal reception, I don't want kids crying and running around i find it very annoying but i know thats what they do, but do you think if i exclude kids under 12 that most of the people won't come. Or do you think they will find a babysitter

well my to be Sister in Law got married in october and all of the kids were there, and it was like a mad house, they were in all the food and the punch, at least hers was outside so they would run around outside, but i just don't want people mad at me because i don't want there kids there, or for my mom to pay alot of money like 75 a person and it to get runied

but i also would want to kept my flower girl and ring bearer there for pictures and stuff.

Answer 1

I think it's fine to do this. Kids under 12 are going to get bored easy. Plus, why pay for 20 kids meals at $15-$20 each, just to see the food end up all over the floor and not in their mouths. It's truly wasteful. Plus, then you have to provide the kids w/ favors and color books to keep them occupied. This is another added expense.

As for a babysitter, I don't believe you have to provide one. A wedding invitation is sent in advance; therefore, you are allowing proper time for your guests to find care.

If they can not leave their child w/ another family member or babysitter for 5 hours, then they have their own attachment issues. It's not your problem.

I know lots of parent that would never even think twice at bringing a child to a wedding. My SIL never brings my nephew, regardless if he's invited or not. She says once in a while she needs, "an adults night out" She's stay at home mom.

Answer 2

If you have the extra money in your budget, you could hire a babysitter for the reception. The families come together, and the kids are taken to a seperate room with a babysitter (or 2, depending on how many kids). You can have games, snacks, a movie, etc. to keep them entertained while the adults enjoy the reception, then mom and dad pick up the little ones before they go home. It actually works out well for everyone, since the adults get to have a nice time without kids running all over the place, and the kids have fun too. Probably more fun than they would have at the reception, since they tend not to be very kid-friendly. Good luck!

Answer 3

Oh my gosh! I was in the same boat when I planned my wedding. We had a total of 12 children and I ended finding someone to take care of the kids. I found out alot about kids, they were just a true delight because they were really enjoying the celebration. No screaming, no shouting. Very happy children who will always remember your special day. I had 4 kids in my ceremony 2 nephews and 2 very close friends kids. But I didn't want bridesmaids just my sister as Maid of Honor.

I hired an origami artist after dinner for the kids who were very professional. They set up a corner and they were really interested in learning. I also gave small gift bags for the little ones at the cocktail hour. We had our wedding in NYC so there was a NYC cab with other theme related items. It was festive.

I had my wedding on a sunday and most people had to work the next day, so instead of 20 kids we had 12 kids (including a 6 month old). Which was manageable. Our wedding was formal too, and I had the same concerns but you just have to plan ahead and prepare yourself for the worst. If your calm your guest will be calm. So enjoy your day.

I'll be honest the only childish behavior came from my MIL:) Did I just say that...oooooh

If you know for sure the kids are not manageable then don't invite them. I knew most of the kids and their parents who were relatively calm. Crazy parents = crazy children.

Answer 4

We had a very formal reception as well, and we chose not to include children for basically the same reasons you stated above. Young kids just do not have the ability to "sit still and be quiet" for something like this. Its not their fault...they're kids! But I didn't want to deal with it on my wedding day. On our invitations, we put "Adult Reception to Follow" in small print at the bottom. I know this can be considered a no-no, but I wanted to make sure everyone knew of our wishes. After the invites went out, a couple people question the decision, but I explained why we wanted it that way, and added that the parents should think of it as a night off. A chance to hang out with other adults, and have fun! (Make em' laugh, it helps!) Well, the big day came, and thankfully everyone respected our wishes and there was not a single kid in sight. ;-)

Answer 5

I don't think that it's rude to not invite them. Beware though, if you don't invite the kids, the parents may not come.

Obviously you are not of this opinion, but some people love kids at weddings, they do the cutest things.

Maybe somehow you could hire a sitter in an extra room and somehow nicely say that we are having an adult reception only and a group of trusted friends (maybe some of your friends older children) will be watching your children, please feel free to tip them. Not sure how to make that nice though, but if I were a parent, that would be a lot better than not going.

Answer 6

Find a reception hall that has another room that you could use specifically for the kids. Then find a babysitter or three to watch over them while the adults enjoy themselves in the reception room.

Answer 7

Let them come but set up a seperate area for them, either at the hall or the home of an agreeble family menu.

Give them a place with kid friendly food, goodie bags of small toys, a few bucks, and DVD player with their fav. movies if one is old enough to operate it.

Choose a reliable teenage or two from the local church, high school, or an agency and have him/her be the babysitter for the night so the parents can relax.

It is perfectly acceptable not to allow children but it must apply to all children and you will to be prepared to loose some of your guests.

Answer 8

I think your best bet is to talk to the families individually. You could even spin it that since it's a formal reception, the kids wouldn't have fun and might be really cranky.

Or...you could have a very small family-oriented reception with cake and punch for everyone and then move to the more formal reception afterwards. I've seen that done before, and it seems to work.

Answer 9

It is perfectly reasonable and acceptable to exclude children from a wedding, especially one as expensive as yours. Just make sure that you spread the word now. Don't wait for the invitations to go out. People need to find babysitters.

Answer 10

Most intelligent people know that kids under about 12 don't belong at a wedding. They will find a babysitter. Most of them would probably appreciate a night out on the town without their kids anyway. Good Luck.