My Diaries?

Question

Hello,

I want to be able to record things about my daily life and whatnots. Ever since I started writing about my life through my perspectives and thoughts, my mother has been snooping around like the scooby's nose. She finds it and reads my inner most and sensitive thoughts, which are sometimes narrcisstical and nostalgic. But that it just the way I am.

How can stop my mother from sneaking into my room when I'm outside of it or at school. Its an invasion of privacy. I tell her not to do this, I don't feel angry in particular, knowing how over-protective she is and I never get pissed. Instead I feel shame.

For example, when I was having sexually active thoughts I wrote them down knowing that I would like to look back before I had gotten sexually mature and learn from it. Now I am. Well, I turned sexually mature when I was 13 now I'm fifteen - I havn't written about it since and I feel I have missed out a lot.

Talking to her doesn't work. Can you help me?

Also, can you reccommend any "lockable" diaries - my mum can pick at the ones that are weak - I'm 15 year old boy.

Answer 1

I don't think there is any way to make your mother respect you enough to not read your diaries. So, if you want, you can give her this post.

I know you think you have a right to know everything about your son, and you believe that means you can read his private diaries. But you don't. At some point you have to trust that you raised a good child and if he's done nothing to concern you in the past, then the message you are giving him is that his self worth as a human being means nothing to you.

He should feel that you protect him by encouraging exploration of his feelings. Protection means you stay out of his business unless he give you a reason not to.

He is 15, and in a few short years he will be a man, and this man will carry for the rest of his life a feeling that you didn't trust him. Is that what you want? I don't care how you justify it, you are treating your son like he's a worthless child. Is that the message you want to give him?

Please stop reading his diaries. You are his mother, not his keeper. Respect his privacy.

Answer 2

Some parents feel the need to invade their teenager's privacy in diaries to find out what they're up to.

I would suggest you find another place to hide your diary, perhaps in your locker at school or perhaps with someone older whom you trust not to violate your privacy, your aunt or uncle , grandparent.

Tell your mother how would she like it if you went snooping around in her drawers and in the safety deposit box and found out things she didn't want you to know.

She probably only has your best interest at heart, but maybe this is where you bring your father or that trusted relative or a teacher or guidance counsellor to set her straight on boundaries . Apparently she has trouble understanding personal boundaries even though she is your mother.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I've a HP Journada 568 on which I keep my diary, it has a PIN number password. Because HP stopped making the model you can pick up one for around £20. You'll need to back up your diary on your PC but you could save the diary in a zip file on your PC to which you've added a password. I normally use one file per week, it's handy as when you think of something to add, turn the PDA on, enter the PIN and off you go.

Answer 4

Have you thought about keeping a diary on the computer and copying it to disc every so often. My daughter keeps diary's but also has one just for her own eyes on the computer.

I have never read either diary as I believe everyone needs to be able to put their thoughts and feelings down without the threat of someone else reading them.

Of course a decent parent will worry and I can imagine how hard it must be for some parents to resist the urge to read their children's diary's especially if they have worries about the child's behaviour.

Answer 5

diaries are fantastically therapeutic, i keep mine on the computer with a password and no one can get into it!

if you don't have one why not buy a book in second hand shop, remove the inside leaving the cover and fit your actual diary inside it then put it on your bookshelf as if it's a book (make sure its one she wouldnt want to read!) then hide a fake diary in an obvious place like under your pillow so she will think that's your diary. she will assume the one under your pillow is your actual diary and would never think that your real one is hidden inside a book cover on your bookshelf.

i know it sounds extreme but it's wrong of your mother to read your private thoughts.

Answer 6

I had that same problem about a year ago. Eventually I got so angry about it that I started to hide things.

I have a metal box that has a combination lock on it (yes, my family is that nosy). I have this box in my closet under a bunch of old toys that I used to play with as a young child.

Try hiding things and lock them up.

Your mother must feel like that she has no connection with you or very little....try talking to her more, that worked for me too.

Answer 7

i had the same problem
and no matter where i put it she would find it!!
so i got a little security padlock
and put it on a suitcase and put the diary and other precious items in there
many years on i still do this incase of a fire so i have my family albums and passport and bank things in a lockable case that is left in a room by the door

Answer 8

One great rule to follow is never write anything you don't want someone else to read. It will happen.
You can try writing a big juicy letter about all these sexual things you did then at the bottom write " For your eyes only MOM" I did that every few pages and my mom thought it was all BS made up to drive her crazy. Every now and then slip in a sentence to your mom or stop writing.

Answer 9

tell her to stop snooping around. diaires are private and she doesn't have the right to look in them without your permission. if she even picks the locks she is just going too far - is she really suspicious that you've done something wrong? i don't keep diaries because i'm too scared someone would read it.

Answer 10

write it on the computer, and password protect the file :) that's what i do, because my mum and my brothers sneak in to read my diary...
so yeah...also when i confront them about it, they all deny that they read it, so they can't say anything about it, even if they did know something, which sort of defeats the point of them reading it in the first place :p