why cant i socialize??

Question

i just seem in a world of my own, i never speak unless asked questions, people talk and laugh, i stuggle to laugh and just feel different/left out. i want to be with people, but when I am I wish I was alone. i cannot speak on the phone, not particually because of nerves but i dont know what to say, I have to write it down on paper and practice before i phone.

Answer 1

I feel exactly the same way and its and its just not healthy!!I've broken away from the friends I did have as they had really hurt me and I don't trust people anymore!It's terrible,i'm so withdrawn!you've just lost your confidence and i think for the most part you should see a therapist,and practice socialising,practice,practice,practice!!it feels weird at first but you just have to push through,don't think too introspectively and deeply and focus on simplicity!also try and get yourself to think logically,like thinking about a maths problem or english essay and deal with socialising in this very detached and scientific manner,don't allow the emotions and fears to cloud your thoughts.or indecision or hesitency,just look at things like i have to do this,just as you have to do clean your house!just be logical and rational!

Answer 2

Maybe you:
1) Have a shy personality.
2) Are depressed.
3) Are a natural loner.
4) Are making too much of this idea.
5) Have low self esteem
What you need to do to is join some clubs, get involved in volunteering, and be active in a church. You will meet new people and gain self confidence. You shouldn't have to write down a question. It should just be in your head and ready to come out of your mouth. You need to be more social or you will miss having a fun life. Go volunteer somewhere today. Ask a neighbor if you can help them with yardwork? The more you talk, the easier it gets. Try it. You have nothing to lose. You sound sad now.....so why not try it?

Answer 3

All canines desires to be socialized. you may bypass to a canines park or what additionally helps is canines coaching. That helps plenty! Secondly golden retrievers would look style yet they'd additionally get aggressive in the direction of different canines if no longer precise socialized, I incredibly have seen some that would not like different canines come to the easy coaching. If the golden continues to be a puppy it won't harm plenty, in basic terms play tough and chew at cases yet shih zu's additionally chew so as that they'd the terrific option the golden whilst he 'play bites' to tricky.

Answer 4

Hey listen, I know exactly what you are going through, I have the same experience myself. When we feel so alone and lonely we get a feeling of being unloved, unwanted, a burden. So we create a comfort zone around us that protects us and makes us feel safe, however on the otherhand we also lose our ability to communicate, often this is born out of a fear of rejection. We are reeling from past hurts that have not properly healed and are forcing ourselves to relive these hurts over and over again in our minds.
Every unkind, unhelpful human being colours our judgement and we believe that all people are some how this way. I learned this lesson the harsh painful way, so I speak from experience, I learned that there are some people who are nice and friendly and others that I would not waste a second longer on. They are just frankly jerks that need to grow up and get a life.

Now this comfort zone I spoke of earlier, is threatened when we go out to meet new people. This is because of the fear of the unknown and the pressure we place on ourselves to make things so perfect. Forgetting of course that no human being is perfect. It is these flaws that we are afraid that others will judge us by hence why you and I feel the way we do. I just wish I could have a chat to you about this face to face, as I truly sympathise with what you are going through and know how harsh and cruel life can sometimes be. It is great what you are doing at the minute, writing things down on paper and practicing what to say before saying it. What I would suggest is to get a book out from the library, it's called "Coping with Shyness" that was very valuable to me in helping me overcome my problems initially. You could also consider going to see a counsellor for advice because they can put you in touch with organisations or tell you about college courses that might help you. They will also listen to you and help you practice talking to a complete stranger. Because all shyness is is being uncomfortable about being around other people you do not know?

Here are some questions that you could ask:

1. Ask them to introduce themselves and to tell you about themselves, their hobbies etc. and you then follow this with the same about you. But remember only give out information that you feel comfortable giving out.
2. What job do you do? again follow with like wise about you.
These are like icebreaker questions, tell them you feel nervous, because the chances are they will be equally nervous. Just relax, take a deep breath and just think about the positive attributes about yourself. Like for example if you like being helpful then try to bring this quality out when the situation allows it. Offering to help people with something will show this and people should believe that you are a decent, loving, caring human being. Listen to other people offer positive strokes like you look lovely tonight! always works with women, it's a compliment that makes people feel good about themselves and feel that they are no longer invisible, they are being noticed.

Type shyness into the search engine or coping with shyness and see what you get.

Hope this helps mate and hope I have brought a little light into your darkened world. Keep smiling and the world smiles along with you.

Take care, let me know how you go on ok.

Answer 5

well...ya don hv to phone somebody if you not really ready to talk..then again..you can always SMS right??
ok...b4 i answer you're ques..here's a question 4 u..
are u an artist or sort of a person lik tat?? if yes..then it's natural that you will feel like being in your own world but sometimes you'll need someone to talk to about your feelings... if no..you can always hang out with friends more..den you'll can get to know how to cop along with other people

Answer 6

I am exactly the same and have been my whole life. Sometimes I don't even know what to say to my own family. I can't talk to anyone unless they ask me something and people think you are stupid or ignorent coz you don't talk but it is just shyness. People say oh don't be stupid you don't have to be shy, but its not something you can just stop. It ruins your life and I am trying not to let it rub off on my kids coz I don't want them to be like it too.

Answer 7

I found that working in customer relations or another face 2 face position really helped me with these anxieties.

its terrifying at first, but then you grow numb to the fears

if ur too young for that, or have another job, try some voluntary activity - it will go great 4 ur CV in future too. trust me it works. presentations really get to me but other stuff like phone calls or writing in public goes away.

Answer 8

you have a very bad case of inferiority complex and to get over this you have to make yourself mix with people and get you confidence back then its all downhill but it wont happen in a few months it will be years but try pushing yourself forward and talk in company doesn't matter if its not relevant but just make people aware your there Good Luck

Answer 9

I feel like I'm reading about myself; I can relate so much to this. It could be shyness but it's more likely to be social anxiety/phobia.

Answer 10

i think you may be over shy,my boyfreind is like that with people he dont know, he always feels left out when im talking to friend as he doesnt know what to say.....