How do you deal with not so smart people who try to prove others that "they are smarter" by putting YOU down.

Question

..by annoying remarks and looks and inappropriate put downs..

I relate this to a work colleague I have. Unfortunately I have to work with this person in close contact.....At least for the next couple of weeks.....

Answer 1

I tell them that I enjoy working with them because of their industry (or any other positive characteristic), but feel our work relationship and team efforts are less productive when they make snide comments or criticize me.

I ask them how we can work together to overcome this challenge. I ask what those obstacles are and express I am keenly interested in working out the challenges so that we have a strictly professional relationship that works to both our advantages.

I find that when I let the other person detail their issues with me, most are decent people who realize they are taking out their problems on me because of their own issues. Sometimes I learn that I could be doing something better, but they didn't have the tools to articulate it to me, or were too insecure to say something directly. The rare person who simply will not admit his/her problem will falter because they can't document the measurable behaviors or are afraid to have it down on paper because it is apparent they are blowing smoke out their ass.

I think of my colleagues as part of my team. It is easy to be defensive and escalate the sniping, but the efforts expended to build a bridge are far more advantageous in the long run. Some of the people with whom I had a lousy work relationship are now some of my staunchest allies. Before I write someone off, I think of my own career faux pas and how much I had to learn to get to this point.

Answer 2

Unfortunately this person feels very inadequate, so you should show her compassion and understanding. It never looks good when someone is putting another down and most people can spot this as some sort of jealously. I suggest to be pleasant to her since you will only be working with her for a few weeks. You have nothing to feel bad about, or jealous of.

Answer 3

Calmly comment that such comments are annoying and distract from the work that needs doing. Once maybe in private; then in front of others, calmly.

You might want to ask advice from a supervisor or HR or both.

Then utter this magic phrase: "hostile work environment". If the supervisors do not tell bullyboy to shut up, update your resume and work for someone who deserves your talents. They deserve to keep Mr. Dumbass/Corporate Liability.

Answer 4

by rising above there remarks, keep telling yourself you are just as smart as this person and you probably are.

this person sounds very insecure if they need to put someone down in order to feel good about them self.

by ignoring there comments they will show you are the smarter of the two don't react no matter how hurtful it is.

Answer 5

http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/ad-hominem.html

The above describes what your colleague is doing.

It's called an "Ad Hominem."

Basically, it's cutting someone else down to make themselves look good.
A petty politician's trick.

You might try something like this...To your co-worker..."There is a name for what you are doing" and then go on to explain the above. By the time you are through with your colleague, I doubt he/she will run his/her mouth again.

Answer 6

Try this

every time this person says something incredibly stupid about you, simply look em in the eye and reply "you are absolutely right"

this person has learned to push your buttons..the above response will stop the button pushing....

Answer 7

I'm revengeful so I do it like this: whatever they say/do to me, I do it to them worse. I can be the best person you'll ever meet, but if you cross me (and I know I didn't deserve it), I'll be the biggest b*ch you'll ever meet. I make sure that everyone knows exactly where they stand: I let losers feel like losers and those who are great feel great (however insecure they may be).

Answer 8

what we hate in others we first see in our selves
looks are only looks [we can read something into them [or chose not to ]
inapropriate put downs are a reportable offense
talk to your boss [thier boss
if that dont work sue the firm ;the boss and the offender

Answer 9

My best friend helped me create a sign that reads
"Stupid people have a wider selection of Friends"
it is hanging in my cubicle and I love when people ask about it (the same kind you are talking about)

Answer 10

usually i sort out people like that not to be my friends , but at work you could go to a trusted person or your boss and talk about this