If you've ever used a switch, stick, paddle, belt, or any object when hitting your child, wasn't it abuse?

Question

Odd that everyone who says it's okay refuses to receive emails, don't you think?

Answer 1

First of all, I don't receive emails but I do think any type of hitting a child, including spanking with your hand, is abuse.

Second, my dad used to hit my brothers really hard with his hand, but as I was the only girl and his favorite, I was never hit. He used to chase them into a corner in the other room and we would hear the smacking and crying. I still have guilt from that, you would never want to have been my dad's favorite. It was a horrible way to grow up, and my brothers still hate him, even though he's gone now. So I think that was abuse, even though there was no weapon or tool involved.

I have never raised a hand or a weapon to my own children. The only thing they learn from corporal punishment is that you are bigger than them and can get away with hurting them, and that violence is a good way to solve problems. So when they grow up, they can pick on the underdog and solve all their problems by hitting, too.

To be honest, I have swatted them on their diapered behinds as toddlers, when they were about to hurt themselves and wouldn't listen, ie, running out in traffic, touching a hot burner, etc. I am not proud of that either, though there wasn't time to reason with them in those situations and a toddler won't listen to reason anyway.

I think we need to talk to our kids, reason with them, use the time out technique, and above all, spend time with them one on one. We need to keep at it, even though it will try the patience of Job. We need to stop substituting "things" like computers, video games and so on, for love, attention, and hands-on parenting.

Answer 2

Foolish people will chastise in anger, and carried away child abuse, which can be mental, as well as physical. When properly applied, spanking with a switch, is a corrective action. I know a cat-nine-tails, that just hung on a hook, near the back door, and never once was used, but was an effective deterent to bad behavior.

Answer 3

I don't think so. And I didn't think of it as abuse when I got spankings as a child. I used to have to go to the "switch tree" and pick my own switch to get switched with. And you knew to pick one of which Granny would approve. Believe me, it made you think before you started to do something wrong, stupid, or wrong and stupid again! I think we as a society are taking this "abuse" thing way too far, just as we have taken a lot of social issues way too far....to the point of doing a 180 on everything. For the sake of enlightenment, we have grown, now, a couple of generations of undisciplined, rude, obnoxious creatures who have no regard for others and the property of others. "Spare the rod and spoil the child" may sound like a barbaric outlook to most of you, but I think it is fact.

Answer 4

i will nevertheless count variety the palms on a million hand it took me to discipline my newborn and have some palms left to count variety. observe I suggested discipline not hitting?? I raised him like i became raised, I suggested what I meant, and that i meant what I suggested. He understood there would be effects of distinctive punishments that he does not be happy with like taking priveleges away, no over evening sleep overs, no guitar classes, no stereo or telephone. It harm him extra to try this than my hand or device of any variety ought to ever have completed i'm constructive. i became raised with an particularly organization hand and spankings weren't too many, yet nevertheless remembered. If I sassed back... my mouth have been given slapped, cursing... cleansing soap to bathe it out, etc. whilst i became getting a spanking with a swap, I had to pass p.c.. it out! I on no account forgot those moments and on no account needed to act badly so as that i does not choose to do it back. i think of I easily have grown as much as understand what it became they tried to electrify upon me as a thank you to habit myself in society and as an entire. Early on I knew approximately recognize, co-operation, discipline to make it paintings in a huge relatives. i don't evaluate that what I lived by using became abuse, I seen it a stable like to assist keep me. I easily have witnessed abuse of all varieties in my existence time from all varieties of existence communities in society. you come back to a variety in case you will particularly be hit via an old swap, belt, paddle, or something, then come back and tell me in case you will particularly have that than being sexually abused or verbally abused via those you're think to believe. i think of i'd decide for to be spanked or hit any day. i think of that's what's incorrect with this society at present. not adequate boot tests have been enforced letting human beings get via with crap they don't have been accepted to do.thank you!

Answer 5

It's only this generation that thinks giving a child a good whipping is abuse and we've ended up with young adults running wild, getting into all manner of trouble and even killing people.
However, your question does raise the issue. When does it become abuse?
For me, it is abuse when it's done for no good reason.
My story: My parents died when I was 7 years old. I was sent to live with one of my aunts and her husband. She was my mothers sister. She was also a child abuser. She beat me with anything she could get her hands on. Garden hose, sticks, broom handles........whatever. And, she would do it for any inconsequential reason. That was abuse. But, her worse form of abuse (and the part that has stuck with me in my life) was her verbal abuse. Contantly putting me down, telling me how worthless I was. I ended all that when I was in the 6th grade. She started to beat me with a stick of firewood (I don't even remember why). When she swung it at me, I caught it in my hand, wrenched it from her and hit her in the top of the head with it. She went down cursing me, I threw the wood down and walked away. I walked about 10 miles to another family members house and stayed with them until I grew up.
The beatings that crazy woman gave me didn't hurt me. If anything, they made me stronger. Her words cut me very deeply. I'm 57 years old now and in some ways, still scarred by her. But, when I think of those days, I don't think of the beatings. I think of her mind control.
My thoughts and advice:
Children are blank sheets of paper. They must learn that there are repercussions for their actions. Both good and bad. If a child does something really bad, the punishment should be really bad. A belt works nicely.
However, never whip a child when you're angry. Always stop them from doing the bad thing, tell them you're going to punish them and walk away.
Let them think about it awhile.
When you're not angry anymore, decide how much punishment to mete out. Bad things should get strong punishment. Little bad things deserve less.
Whatever it turns out to be, do it and do it with conviction. If you do whip the child, talk with him/her first, tell them whats going to happen and why. Then do it. When the punishment is over, hold them and tell them how much you love them.
Then, it's over. It's over in your mind and it's over in the childs mind. There is no brooding for hours or days. Both the child and the parent can move on. Love and laughter can return immediately. Love has replaced anger for both the parent and the child will have learned that punishment can be really hard. Most importantly: Never put a child down mentally, words cut deeper than any stick or belt in the world and you never know which words a child will remember 50 years later. But, take it from me, they will remember the hateful words all of their lives. Don't be a tyrant, but don't be a pushover either. If you think whipping a child is abuse, go to a youth retention center. You'll see lot's of spoiled children who never got a good whipping. Do you want your child to end up in one of those places?
One thing people get confused about: You raise adults, you don't raise children. If they don't learn the rules as children, they won't know that judges mete out very stiff punishment for adults.
Do whatever it takes to teach your child to be an adult. I don't want the little jerk jacking me on some dark street because he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong and doesn't know there are repercussions for bad behavior.

Answer 6

I've had it done to me when I was a kid and I look back on that and never believed I deserved it, no matter how much trouble I was in. I don't do it to my kids, but I do spank them with my hand, which is not abuse but discipline.

Answer 7

Why was it OK when I was younger and it isn't now? I was a small child in the 70's-80's.....we seemed to be a lot better behaved and had way more manners than kids do today....

Answer 8

My mom used a switch on me when I was young. I don't think it was abuse at all. It left just enough of a sting that I knew she meant business, but without any permanent damage.

Answer 9

Absolutely not.

There are most assuredly occaissions when it is entirely appropriate to physically discipline a child.

Abuse and discipline are not one in the same.

Contrary to popular belief, spanking (when administered with appropriate restraint) is not abuse. In fact, I would submit that there are many occaissions on which the FAILURE to adminster physical discipline to a child is abusive.

Answer 10

My egg donor used to use wooden spoons on my butt and they would break in half because she hit so hard.
Definitely abuse.