A while back, there were a lot of threads on YA about poor tipping among blacks. I am black. I go to a lot of restaurants. My friends and I always tip 20%. So, I was shocked to read the comments on YA, b/c I never knew it was a real issue.
I even discussed the matter with my friends, who then swapped embarrassing stories of dining with cheap relatives and co-workers. And that made me more curious about the topic.
Well, last weekend I decided to do my own research. After eating dinner and paying the bill, I very diplomatically asked the waiter if he found that African-Americans tend to tip less. He (also very diplomatically) said yes, and it prompted a brief and good discussion.
I appreciated the waiter's frankness and honesty, but I got mixed reactions from my friends for what I did. One friend was so mortified that he left the table to wait outside.
Even though it's a little awkward, I want to ask more waiters this question. Do you think it's okay or inappropriate?
2007-07-13 23:43:46 · 14 answers · asked by ballewmar 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I welcome all points of view, b/c I like the discourse. However, insults and stupid remarks are cowardly and pointless. So, if you cannot express yourself in a mature and intelligent manner, then hold on to your brain cell and move on!
btw: There were four of us eating, and the waiter is a Caucasian male. I prefaced my question by saying something like: "I want to ask you a personal question, and although it's a little awkward, I'd really appreciate your honest opinion...."
I did forewarn my friends before asking the question. The one who left the table is just uncomfortable with this kind of stuff. However, we all had a spirited conversation in the car.
My friends are all black professional men, and it's surprising how this simple topic has triggered reactions and deep-rooted opinions among us. No one is against tipping 20%. Rather, they were concerned more about being pre-judged by waiters and unfairly associated with poor tippers.
2007-07-14 00:24:11 · update #1
On an earlier YA thread, I also directed this same question "to waiters".
.
2007-07-14 00:34:26 · update #2
There is nothing wrong with asking questions as long as you respect what the other person is saying.
And bravo for being brave enough to ask this delicate question.
2007-07-13 23:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Stacey W 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The question should be asked in private, so as not to embarrass (or mortify) anyone, including the server. If the questioning is done just between the two of you, it should make it much more comfortable for the server to be candid with you.
Some servers may be hesitant to be open with you, as they may fear you are looking for information for a lawsuit.
My niece quite a job as a server in an upscale restaurant in the south, because she made no tips from the majority of patrons, who happened to be black. I was surprised, too. They did not tip a small amount, they did not leave any tip. I did not realize this even happened in this day and age, so I was as shocked as you were.
2007-07-14 12:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by moonmother2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When we become afraid to Ask then Political Correctness has Won. PC and PC people will wreck this Great nation. I was a waiter for many years. I am white. If the Ma-tree De, host or hostess was to hurt the pocket of one of the wait staff that waiter would get more black parties. There were a few that broke the rule but only a few. It was easy to spot the black parties. But to spot the cheap tipping hairdressers wasn't as easy. (and to think they work for tips as well) Hard to spot the cheap tipping Politicians as well. Washington DC is know for the worse tippers in the country.
And for you cheap friggin' Red Necks If you can't afford to tip STAY home.
2007-07-14 01:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by FishEater 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
At the restaurant I serve at, Pepsi is on tap and I used to ask if Pepsi was ok since almost everyone asks for Coke. Some people yes, would refuse the Pepsi so they'd get a can of Coke if available. I stopped asking and so far no one has said "hey, I asked for Coke and this is Pepsi" so probably it's hard to tell the difference when it's on tap.
2016-05-17 09:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a perfectly normal question for a perfectly appropriate topic, but you are asking people you dont even know these kinds of questions. I think its best to maybe ask people you know, and then maybe talk to the manager at a restuarant on how you are doing a survey, and ask if you can give them a quick questtionare or comment card that you can pick up later or they can mail or something.
2007-07-13 23:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by superval13 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd suggest making up written questionnaires and leaving them at the restaurant, rather than conducting your research in person. You'll get more honest answers that way, and you won't embarrass anyone (or take time away from their jobs.)
P.S. I try not to take thumbs-downs personally, but what on EARTH was wrong with my answer?
2007-07-14 02:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should take your clue from the waiter and see if they act distant or cold and then go from there . If they tell you their honest opinion then that is good. good luck .
2007-07-13 23:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if is realy true i havent much thought about it but all my friends that are african-american all tip 20% i can see that racist peoplewould think different but i see all people equil f.y.i. im white
2007-07-13 23:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a good idea, but it will be plagued with controversy.
2007-07-13 23:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by annasdad 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
if you dont ask youll never know... just dont ask anyone bigger than you in case theyre not happy with the question.
2007-07-13 23:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by skilltester69 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋