Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and 5 months now. We have had our terrible fights and about three weeks ago we finally broke up. We broke up because I was being controlling of him because I was very very jelous of the naked girls he had all over his computer and how many girls he LOVES to chat to on msn all the time. He has about 150 contacts and probably 3 are male. Anyways, I was getting very nervous about it and was trying to control what he loked at. He just hid all of that stuff from me anyways. Well, after we broke up, I finally noticed that what I was doing was very very wrong and I contacted him asking for him to be at least my friend. He refused so I asked if i could have at least the possibliy of being his friend even 10 years down the road. I made a vow to myself that day saying that I'm going to shed this jelousy and controllingness about me and just be me again without the bitchy piece of sh** i was...
2007-07-12 18:09:35 · 5 answers · asked by Janna L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now we are closer than ever and I don't think I could be more thankful...but for some reason I still feel those jelous feelings come over me and I want to voice them but I just can't. I don't wnat him to get mad and think I'm not putting in enough effort into changing myself for the better. I want to know if I should hide and not tell him about these jelous feelings and let this relationship grow stronger before I tell him, or tell him now and possibly have the fear of him giving up on me?
2007-07-12 18:11:33 · update #1
On the other hand, he is probably the nicest person I've met in a long time. I've thought it over alot and I keep thinking that I might just be with him because I'm afraid of being alone. But if that's so, why am I so happy with him then? I just don't see how just a simple "Please don't look at other girls that way, it makes me feel uncomfortable and ugly" isn't enough to get him to stop. Yeah I know it's "A guy thing" but I like to see myself better than that. I, to this day, have not even looked at another guy naked on the internet like that. He doesn't believe that lol but it's true. I just can't. It's how I am. Anyways, any advise on what I should be doing or any reality checks for me?
2007-07-14 07:36:52 · update #2
First of all, you are NOT a controlling jealous piece of s***. You are a normal woman with emotions that were more than justified.
What he was doing was wrong and you were right to be upset about it.
In a committed relationship, there should be no need for all that crap he was doing. It shows nothing but a total lack of respect for the person you are with.
I know you probably don't want to hear it, but you are sooo better off without him. This is something that would only get worse in time. I doubt there would come a time you would truly feel ok about the porn or countless girls. You may learn to accept it,for his sake, but it would always bother you.
There are plenty of men out there that know how to respect the woman they love regardless of what the rest of the losers in our society are doing.
It's so sad that now a days young girls think they need to put up with this bullsh** simply because "all the guys do it, or it's just boy's being boy's". That might be so, but you need a real man, not a boy.
Find a man who respects you and that you can respect and you will truly be happy. Don't ever lower your expectations or morals for a guy. You'd only be selling yourself short.
Good luck hun,
2007-07-12 18:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by shandi232000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you wouldn't want your boyfriend to be so cozy with so many girls and also about the pictures. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't interested in my feelings about that. Jealousy is not a good thing in some cases, but in your case, I think it's justified. I think he's insensitive...and possibly a player.
2007-07-13 01:52:55 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be having jealous feelings towards him cause if he is talking to many other women, believe me they r not talking about sports. come on, dont be so nieve. the guy has probably sleeped with several of those women i would bet a dollar on that.
2007-07-13 01:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by bubba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alright u need to stop the jealousy n controlling thing cuz i had the same problem..u gotta give ur partner their own space n just chill n have trust in them if they do somethin well dats in their conscience n they r gonna regret it trust me...but dont show dat u dont care just dont take it to the max.
2007-07-13 01:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by zmyshadow 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't control what he looks at or who he talks to.........you can only control how fast you walk away! You would see smoke coming from my heels!
What is it you see in him?
2007-07-13 01:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋