The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results..."
"My, that's a l ot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my gosh!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer re plied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.........
2007-07-01 20:21:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
i posted it once before but its gone away
2007-07-01 20:21:55 · update #1
yes, it's a bit long, but then it's more than worth the effort.. all along it had me chuckling and it culminated into a burst of laughter when we read about the 'canon'... a good one, i should say..
2007-07-01 21:53:46 · answer #1 · answered by ravish2006 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup, thats a joke right there. Very good, have you heard this one though:
The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old boy leant over the bar.
The Devil wanders across to the old boy and says "Do you know how I am?"
The old man took another sip of his beer and answered "Yep"
The Devil stared at the old man and asked "Well aren't you afraid?"
The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "nah, I've been married to your sister for 40 years. Why the hell should I be scared of you?"
2007-07-01 20:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by Vito C. 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very good, the ending is a bit anticlimactic but the joke is definitely worth it
2007-07-01 20:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by God 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Holy Crap! That was simply hilarious! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I have heard it before! But it still makes me laugh my freakin' head off!!! A bit long but it is funny along the road so a star for you Conan!
2007-07-01 20:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its worth it i only got past the first five words.
2007-07-01 20:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by NikeMan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Totally worth it lol.
2007-07-01 20:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by PureGenius 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like it.. no massive punch line, it just kind of meanders, but it's funny.
2007-07-01 20:25:28 · answer #7 · answered by The Iceman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I liked it, but not everyone can tell long jokes.
2007-07-01 20:28:36 · answer #8 · answered by bebop 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too Long.
2007-07-01 20:25:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
It must have been not worth it since you already felt that it is so... Make it shorther
2007-07-01 20:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋