My boyfriend smokes pot, and i absolutely hate it. I need to know what to do.?

Question

I can't stand it when he does it, and he used to go out without me to parties and stuff to do it. Once, he got with another girl because of it. I don't know what to do becasue I love him to death, but hate to see him do this to himself. I've talked to him about it before and he says that it's just part of who he is and he will stop one day, but he'll do it for himself, not anyone else. We have 1 more year until we get our house together, and he needs to stop this habit before then, or it could really ruin our relationship. I guess what I'm asking is: Is it possible to convince him to stop for himself? To make him actually want to stop?

I can't stand it when he does it, and he used to go out without me to parties and stuff to do it. Once, he got with another girl because of it. I don't know what to do becasue I love him to death, but hate to see him do this to himself. I've talked to him about it before and he says that it's just part of who he is and he will stop one day, but he'll do it for himself, not anyone else. We have 1 more year until we get our house together, and he needs to stop this habit before then, or it could really ruin our relationship. I guess what I'm asking is: Is it possible to convince him to stop for himself? To make him actually want to stop?

And please don't say leave him. I tried that a few months ago. No matter how bad what he does makes me feel, its a million times worse without him.

Answer 1

Tell him how you feel...If he doesn't quit you have to dump him...

Answer 2

Alright listen to this, one of my best friends use to smoke pot daily, and I mean daily. Thats all he ever wanted to do and talk about. Thats pretty much all he lived his life for is to get high. No matter what we told him he wouldn't listen, he has bad influence too since most of his cuzins smoked too and so did his brother. Until one day that he felt really sick in the stomach. He is 22 by the way. So he went to the doctor and they told him that he has a hole in the liver and that soon he will die in a year if he doesn't stop or it already may be too late. From that day he hadn't smoked pot even once. This was about 2 years ago. He has healed since than and in good health. And he regrets smoking pot so bad. He can't stand hanging around his cuzins any more or his brother that much. He changed alot in a good way. Well I justed wanted to let you know how some one I knew really good stop doing it before it was too late, and he coudn't be any more happier.

Answer 3

So one day he got with another girl because of the pot. And he continues to smoke pot (which is illegal!) EVEN THOUGH you absolutely HATE it.

Regardless of how much you love him, something should be screaming at the top of its lungs inside your head. DO NOT get any house, or anything at all with this guy! And what do you mean "could really ruin" your relationship? It already HAS ruined it, girl! Wake up and smell the POT!! What's it gonna take for you to realize that this loser is NOT going to stop smoking pot for you? He even said it himself. He'll stop smoking pot only "for himself". There, he said it himself.

I know it won't be easy, Honey, but I think you should move on. He's clearly made his own choice, and you aren't in it. So now you should make yours.

Answer 4

ok...if smoking pot makes him do bad stuff that you dont like and when he says that that's just a part of who he is and he'll quit one day..you obviously not caring about your feelings at all. There's not much you can do to convince him to quite if he doesnt want to. If he wants to stop..he'll do it on his own time. But that doesnt mean you have to put with it for that long. His choices in life are his own and if you dont want that in your life..you can walk away. And just b/c you are getting a house together..dont think that means your stuck with him. If he doesnt stop and you hate it...walk away. B/c right now it sounds like...he likes the pot more than you

Answer 5

hey the first thing you have to acknowledge is his problem is not a habit but rather an addiction.furthermore if he states this who he is you might very well need to decide is this something you want to deal with? Does he love you enough to stop realize this is going to destroy your relationship not to mention his health and brain. You cannot convince an addict to stop using regardless of there chossen drug.They must do it for themselves and hit that low and that might be loosing you or getting busted, going to jail looseing his job etc etc.. I have a brother smokes and he knows how much I hate it too and I have tried for years to get him to stop but he wont so the best I can do is insist that when I'm around him he respects me and doesnot do it in my presence... I Wish you luck its always hard when you love someone and you can see the destruction they cannot..

Answer 6

Leave him alone it could be a lot worse you no. If you knew this about him to start with why did you stay with him. You cannot convince another person to stop anything unless he is ready and is willing all on his own. I would advise you to not go any farther with this guy if it is going to mess your relationship up if he doesn't quiet.He will not stop for you or anyone else but himself when he is ready to that's how it works.

Answer 7

DUMP HIM. You cannot change him ever!
You cannot convince him to stop.
You cannot make him actually want to stop ever!
You are wasting your valuable time.
Your life will be ruin (financially and career) because of his addiction to drugs.
He has no respect for you.
You are putting your future on the line.
If you have children with him, your children has a 50% chances of becoming addiction to pot just like him.
You could get evict from a house due to him smoking pot.

Answer 8

Find a new boyfriend. He knows it bothers you a lot and hasn't made any sincere effort to quit so obvious pot is more important to you in his eyes. You have only 2 choices as I see it.
1) Learn to live with it
2) Find a new boyfriend

PS. If he cheated on you he will do it again and again because you have given him permission by not leaving him the first time it happened. Choose option #2, please.

Good Luck

Answer 9

Listen and listen good. Give him one more chance then if he doesn't oblige leave.

Think about it do you want be with someone so selfish that won't sacrifice anything for you even though you ask him in his best interest.

If he loved you he should be willing to give up anything for you.What about the risks of the legality of the substance and of how he is obtaining it.

He obviously only is looking out for himself, If you want to hang onto his coattails as he aimlessly wanders through his life it will only cause you pain and suffering. for your own good give him his chance to redeem himself then leave.

Answer 10

i dont actually smoke pot but i have friends that do, and i wish i could tell them to stop, but im not a judge, im not GOd, all i can do is be there for them, help them with other things, let them see for themselves if something is going wrong with their life because of pot, believe me you can never change him for yourself, if he says it is already a part of him and that he will stop one day but for himself believe him, eventhough you will ask him to choose you over the pot believe me no matter how much he loves you he will choose the pot, but if you no longer can stand it , just break away, its next to impossible to force someone to do what you want them to do even for the sake of love, give him his space and respect , and go away for a while let him think things through without you forcing him to do anything,

Answer 11

You have a long and tedious battle ahead of you. My fiance won't stop either and I hate it, but if he has to do it I prefer him to do it at home and not somewhere else where he could get caught and arrested. If that doesn't work for you then you need to think twice about getting a house or having a future with him, especially if he cares more about getting high then about your feelings.