We have been together for 3 years this year, and he has even bought me a beautiful ring, but he has not proposed. He is financially stable, and has his own place. We've been on trips together, and love eachother very much.... we even talk about children/marriage/the future!
He just recently told me he wanted to buy a house when his rent was up!..... so........
where is the ring?
This has caused a bit of heartache for me...esp since all of my friends around us have gotten married/engaged.
Any ideas on at least getting this out of my head?
2007-07-01 18:41:50 · 19 answers · asked by dumb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We've talked about this hurt, I've even cried a few times, so my silence isnt an issue
2007-07-01 18:49:46 · update #1
Don't rush him or you could really RUIN a potentially romantic proposal. You have NO IDEA what he's thinking or planning and the more you talk about it with him, the more you ruin it for him. The proposal is not just for you, it's something men take great pride in. Don't take that away from him just because you want things on your timing. It would be one thing if, after 3 yrs he said he would never commit but you KNOW he's bought a ring! Just relax. He obviously loves you and intends on proposing. Let it happen naturally. I had a friend who was in the same situation. She & her bf had dated for almost 2 yrs. He had a great job that moved him to another town and they planned for her to move down to be with him. She moved, got a job, and they lived together. After 6 or 8 months of being in the new town, she started getting impatient about the proposal b/c they talked about it and she knew it would be coming at some point. She got so obsessed and upset that she'd bring it up and cry over it to him. He got soooo frustrated one night that he got out the ring (she didn't know he had bought it) and threw it at her and said "here! are you happy? you HAD to have it your way." It was horrible! She cried and cried. He had planned this whole big romantic thing but b/c she couldn't let it go, she ruined it. She refused to look at it and apologized to him for being that way. They talked, made up and a couple months later planned a big trip. It was on that trip that he ended up proposing to her. It was romantic and wonderful but I'm sure she will wonder for the rest of her life how much better it could've been had she not thrown a hissy fit originally.
I should also add that my husband and I, when we were dating, talked about marriage & I knew it was a matter of time. He had bought the ring but I had no idea - he proposed a month after buying the ring. So see....he waited too and there's nothing wrong with that!
2007-07-01 19:08:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well him giving you the ring means he definitely wants to marry you. And he set a date, which means it is going to happen!!! He probably wants to make the official proposal something really special. Don't press the issue with him about a formal proposal. Let it be a total surprise, that is the most exciting part. He definitely loves you, let him do it in his own way and time. You know you are getting married, so that's all that matters.
2016-05-21 00:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by jimmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel it maybe that he is waiting for the right moment. Or it could be that he doesnt know when to ask or how., he may also be afraid of getting refused. You know how some people are afraid to ask as if a refusal, may end in tears, he maybe one of those people. Have you dropped hints, something like your biological clock is ticking, or that you want to get married say before 2010. He may think that your not ready or not wanting to get married yet? If you are concerned and know that he has a ring for that reason, then just ask him. Ask him his feelings on getting married and when would he like to get married. Why not be really suttle and buy a wedding book, place it on the coffee table or kitchen table, so that he can see it, and make sure you make him see it. Even better go wedding ring hunting or wedding dress hunting with him.
If not why not be really modern and ask him, for his hand in marriage. Hope this helps, as a wise person once said 'Good Things Come To Those Who Wait!'
2007-07-01 19:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without reading anyone else's answers, i would like to suggest for you to be patience. Why would he want to give you a ring when you expect it? Maybe he wants to actually surprise you but because you keep bringing it up he keeps putting it off. Trust me, i know. I have been with my fiance for 5 years and everytime i kept mentioning that the next step in our lift was marriage he totally closed off. Eventually when i didn't mention it like i didn't care, he started to think about it more. I don't understand how their minds work, but this could help. Plus, wouldn't you want him to ask you when he's ready, not because he feels pressured. When it's time, you will look back and wonder why you acted the way you did. I wish you the best of luck and remember, be patient!!! Love conquers all. If he loves you, he will propose when he's ready. As you said, he has the ring.
2007-07-02 00:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by belle_rufus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound crazy, but what if he has a specific date in mind? My fiance did, and it was wonderful. Maybe he's nervous in making it perfect for you. I would wait, though it's difficult, and see if he has a surprise in mind for you this year. If another year passes, and still no proposal, then maybe you can sit down and explain your goals.
At this age, get married.
At that age, have children.
You get the idea. I'm sure it'll be romantic, have faith and some patience. I doubt there's anything to get it out of your mind, it seems when you try that, commercials pop up about it, billboards, ads, friends talk, it's on the news, it's everywhere. So, just take a deep breath, and know that it's in the works.
2007-07-01 19:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait for HIM to be ready. He might have the ring and such, but he might not be ready to give up his "singleness" just yet. I was anxious about my boyfriend proposing wishing he would do it, and it didn't happen until I completely stopped worrying about it. Less than a month after I stopped worrying, he proposed. Now we are getting married in June 08.
2007-07-02 03:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just waiting for the right time to sweep you off your feet. It took my feonce a while to propose. He spent ages thinking of the right way to do it.
Also if you keep pusing him and presuring him about it that could be causing the delay. Give him some time and dont mention it. He may just want to surprise you when your are least expecting it.
2007-07-01 20:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only person you can ask this question of is your boyfriend. any answer from any of us would be speculation at best.
however, you don't want to pressure him or nag him. why not make him a cup of coffee, sit him down, hold his hand across the table, and initiate a discussion (where mostly he talks and mostly you listen). start by mentioning how commited and happy it makes you feel that the two of you have talked about marriage. then ask him when he has imagined it actually happening. listen honestly to what he has to say. take your time about replying if his answer wasn't what you wanted to hear. you definitely don't want the conversation to turn into a disagreement. after he's sketched out his expectations, then you can sketch out yours. always use qualifiers like, "i'd love to...", "i'd like to...", "it would make me happy if we..." frame the conversation as the two of you working towards something that will make both of you happy, rather than you nagging him for committment.
best of luck!
2007-07-01 18:55:55 · answer #8 · answered by dirtyhandsarehip 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust him. If you love him, you should trust him.
It sounds like he's not going anywhere, so you just have to be patient, and trust that he's looking for a time that perhaps you aren't seeking it. If you are being so presssuring about a ring, that sort of spoils the surprise that so many men like to have surrounding the proposal.
2007-07-02 05:41:30 · answer #9 · answered by Constellation 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be tons of reasons! Did he give you A ring? or do you just 'think' he bought one - do you know its an engagement ring?
Getting it out of your head just comes with maturity - don't stop your life while you are 'waiting' for him....
And don't shack up with him until 'he decides' whether he wants to marry you or not. Two or three years of dating is plenty long enough for a mature man to decide whether or not he wants to marry a woman.
2007-07-01 21:14:10 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋