Is this ok at all?

Question

Hey, my loving husband and the father of my kids is bisexual. He told me 3 years ago, and we made an arrangement: once a week he gets to bring a boy home and have his fill, under our roof where i know what is going on; the rest of the week he must be faithful to me. It is worked well for our marriage so far.. but latley i have been wondering if it is ok, and if he has been following the rules. What should i do?

My sons are aware of this! I am really worried about how it affects them

Answer 1

Are you nuts?

He brings "a boy" home? Last time I checked, that makes your husband a pedophile.

And what makes you think a pedophile is so selective that he won't choose his own sons to perpetrate?

Being bi or gay is in no way related to being a pedophile. If your husband and you agree to his seeking outside adult relationships OUTSIDE your home, that is your business.

But when it comes to bringing "boys" (or men) into your home, it then become everyone's business, and it NOT appropriate!

This is risky, dangerous kind of behavior in any case. FYI, EVERY boy or man your husband sleeps with, in effect, YOU sleep with! Why on earth would you take a chance with this highly risky behavior??

Who have you named as Guardians for your sons when you both die of AIDS?

Answer 2

First of all your husband is bringing home a "boy" ? that doesn't sound right at all. I hope you mean a consenting adult.
Second of all, The fact that you know what is going on is worse than not knowing.
This is absolutely an unhealthy relationship. There is nothing right about it. It makes me angry knowing you are exposing your children to this and I beleive if this gets out social services would be paying you a visit.
You need to sit down and think about this long and hard, is this really what you want? Ask your children what they think if they are already aware of what is going on. I don't think they can be happy.If you are wondering about this arrangement I think you know there is something wrong with it. For the sake of your children re-evaluate your relationship.

Answer 3

Um you did say you were married right?
HELLO wake up if he was bringing a woman around your house and having a realationship with her would you allow that. I DON'T THINK SO!
If he's bisexual he's married to a girl it doesn't matter right now if he were single then by all means let him go out and have fun but hes married.
Ever hear of "Thou shall not commit adultery." Go get YOUR man back for all 365 days a year, all 52 weeks and all 7 days a week.

And as for your poor sons did you ever ask them how they feel? I personally would be upset about this I'm 13 and I would be really upset. If you choose to let you your husband continue ask your kids if its okay

Answer 4

no no no no and many times no this is not ok not with your kids under the same roof as your husband and his partner this issetting a bad example for your kids they might not share thier fathers same sex interest and grow up and think that its alright to bring another woman into his house and maybe get ito lotsof arguements with his wife because she wants him and only him and vice versa change the meeting place or quit doing it altogether andhave more respect for your kids they deserve better than that. maybe you three need to be tested for std you know thats is how u can get them. by sharing partners. hopefully noone out side you three know about this . If so i;m surprised that CPS hasnt paid you a visit yet!!!

Answer 5

Obviously the two of you have a very open line of communication so why don't you just ask him. It takes a very special person to accept and allow your partner these types of freedoms. I really don't think he would do anything to jeopardize his life with you. Maybe once a week is a little much, maybe he should try and look for a long term thing with just one man? As long as he is there for you when he is with you then let him do what he needs to do to be happy. If I were in your shoes I'd do the same thing.

Answer 6

Well, in my opinion, i don't think it's right...even if he is bisexual. You are both committed to each other. It's like a brunette wife telling her husband, well you can bring a red head home once a week since you like both red heads and brunettes. Even if he is bisexual, he should be committed to you because you are married to each other. I'm sorry if I offended you...it's really just my opinion. I don't want to be disrespectful...so I'M REALLY SORRY.

But if you're worried how it affects your kids, maybe you could talk to them and ask them to tell you the truth about how they really feel.

Hope everything's okay.

Answer 7

Um no. When you two got married, I'm pretty sure you vowed to stay faithful to each other. That is not a healthy environment for your young sons to be in. They'll get confused. They'll grow up thinking it's ok to be promiscuous, and cheat on their significant others. It is cheating. He could also give you an STD. Gay men have a higher HIV rate than anyone else. You're husband is bangin em, and then you. That's risky, and I would NOT stand for it.

Answer 8

i dont think you should be doing it under the same roof as your children. If it all works well and you are happy i dont see why not BUT do you get to bring another guy home once a week? Are you allowed to jump in as well? If not i dont think that is fair. If you are not happy with it you need to tell him. If you love someone i dont know how you could "do" someone else as well, male or female. Marriage is one life partner.

Answer 9

I think you made a very foolish arrangement. Your husband is breaking his marital vows to you. It doesn't matter if he is breaking them with a man or with a woman. How many partners has he had? He's exposing you to all sorts of diseases and he is exposing the children to a very unhealthy concept of what marriage is (Mom is faithful, dad gets to have sex with whomever he wants once a week?!?!?!?!?).

I suggest you get some marital and family counselling IMMEDIATELY and tell this husband of yours to start acting like one.

Answer 10

I would say, if that is what is working for your marriage, then so be it. But HELLO, there are children in the home who know whats going on. You two should seek some counseling, and for God sakes, think of the impact this is having on your children.