My friends you could not have before. Ladies and Gentlemen I have an even newer Testament of the Book of Mormon to unveil. This was revealed to me by the Angel Respighi who had been guarding the writings of Rockford for over a thousand years here in Salt Lake City. These Platinum tablets contain the "Book of Rockford - An Even Newer Testament" by the Prophet Rockford.
These fine Platinum tablets have been written in reformed Spanglish and are encased in radioactive Kryptonite but due to the Superman that I am I'll translate them into the common language, return them to the Angel Respighi (Godson of Prophet Uther Pendragon), and will present them in a fine leather bound edition with gold leaf lined linen pages to my good friend, Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley, President and CEO of the LDS group.
2007-07-01 15:46:07 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
hahahaha That sounds just as crazy as the original version!! Kudos!!!
2007-07-01 15:50:30 · answer #1 · answered by Amy 4 · 2⤊ 5⤋
You aren't the only one that has come out with a line like this since 1830. There were at least 12 that did while Smith was alive. Usually, the people would make their translations and form a new group. Giving the new revelations to the president is a new twist.
2007-07-03 02:28:43 · answer #2 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mitt Romney is about as cool as Dick Cheney and Richard Nixon. Watch out for the Mormons- a wacky group.Sort of like Pee Wee Herman on Kool Aid . nad how about that Kirk Cameron, whoa boy.. a few bricks short of a Mormon hay wagon. .
2007-07-09 15:12:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sad. Were you up all night thinking that one up? Just a thought, wouldn't you rather cash in the platinum plates? I bet you could get a pretty penny for them.
to Fuzz: the Bible says the exact same thing in Deut. 4:2:
"Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."
Maybe you should read the rest of your Bible.
2007-07-02 10:10:54 · answer #4 · answered by Siobhan W. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you think this is funny. I really do not know why
people use valuable time and energy to be mean spirited
to others.
I am not Mormon; I do know a good deal about the Mormon
religion, though. They have as much right to believe as they
do as anyone else on this planet.
Consider how you would feel if someone took jabs at whatever
spirituality you consider your own.......
I am sure you are a bright person and have things you
could share on the internet that would be helpful to someone
rather than using some of the valuable time of your life
to tear someone else's faith down, don't you?
I wish you all the best,
Doris
WithWingsofAngels@comcast.net
2007-07-01 15:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Doris L 3 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I wrote a chiasmus like Dr Seuss on paper plates once, a long time ago (last century). It was a gift, along with the cake that originally covered it.
I feel you have maligned the FSM, and His Noodly Appendage may be withdrawn from you. Thus you may float away into the heavens, but never partake of the Beer Volcanoes and Strippers.
RAmen.
2007-07-02 10:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by Dances with Poultry 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Comment to "fuzz" - the Bible consists of various books by various authors, including John. These books were gathered together and called the Bible many years later. John's book, Revelation, was put last. That book warns not to add to his words, bit was written BEFORE the Bible even came to be and ONLY referred to his own words - not any of the books by other authors. The Bible itself refers to many missing writings and books. Read it more and you'll find at least twenty missing writings that are named. You should be sure of what you're talking about before you speak out.
2007-07-01 16:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by Rainfog 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can write it, I'll read it. I would LOVE to see someone take up the challenge of writing a book just like the Book of Mormon, since all anti-Mormons think it would be a piece of cake.
But, remember, you have to be SO SURE that it's the word of God, just like the Bible, that you would lay down your very life for it. and that others would do the very same thing.
That's a pretty tall order.
2007-07-02 00:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by mormon_4_jesus 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
They may try to buy them off you like they did with Hoffmanns Salamander Letter
2007-07-08 11:12:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah cool! I'll go to the closest Brooks and Nobles to purchase the new copy ASAP. I hope your new book gets to be a Best seller. Have fun writing more!!!!!!!
Everyday there are more Mormon bashers and sarcastics... can't believe it!
2007-07-01 15:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by Love Yahoo!!! wannabe a princess 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
So, I have the lost book of ASHER, written on a scroll I found when I was in Kuwait. Heheheh.
2007-07-02 16:37:37 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋