We found out that my mother in law was bathing our 8yr old neice with our 4 yr old daughter.We told her we let our daughter batheand use the restroom by herself.She got offended and implied that we were saying we thought our neice was going to touch our daughter.Thi is not what we were even thinking about.She is or probably has already said this too hubby's brother.This will cause unneccessary resentment/trouble.What to do?
2007-07-01 15:10:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Explain it properly. Explain that you just want your daughter to learn independence that's why you want her to bather on her own. That's the only thing you can do to clear the whole mess up.
2007-07-01 15:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by chi-chi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't split hairs over this one ... try and keep the family peace.
You have your own family routines but sometimes other folks do things differently and unless it is a bad thing, I would let it go ... it is not worth fighting over who is right and who is wrong because it really is a matter of personal preference and the two girls are still children. The older one hasn't hit puberty. I believe in personal privacy but I don't think this incident is a crime. My grandma used to always bathe my sister and I together ... she was old-school, conservative and was focused on saving bath water! (lol)
Go back to your mother-in-law and tell her casually that you realized after-the-fact that you may have offended her, and that for now on if giving the two a bath together is easier for her, that it is what you want her to do UNLESS the older daughter feels strongly about taking her own private bath (which I would respect). Communicate that you did not mean to imply she did anything wrong, and that you are sorry if you came across in the wrong way. And thank her for taking such good care of the girls.
:-)
Good luck. The less you say the better. Sometimes this mother-in-law stuff is tricky business.
2007-07-01 22:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by americansneedtowakeup 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a touchy and sensitive subject in light of sexual abuse stories we hear about these days.So try to understand your mother in-law's feelings even though you did not intend of mean it in that fashion.It is rather unfortunate that we live in such a world. What I suggest is you call a small family meeting where you address the issue.Explain that it was all a mistake, a sad and unfortunate misunderstanding.Apologize to your mother in-law if she felt offended and insulted and try to clarify what your original thinking was.If you act quickly,you can prevent the entire incident from being blown all out of proportion and in the process prevent any resentment , hurt feelings, and trouble. I wish your family all the best.
2007-07-01 22:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should not bathe together plain and simple. An 8 year old is starting to grow. A 4 year old not yet and is really not a good thing to do. It is your child. But you have little control what happens when someone else even your family takes care of your children.
2007-07-01 22:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by desertlady 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her nicely you prefer they bathe seperately. That is your wishes as her parents. No reason needed. It s your child. Period.
2007-07-01 22:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by JandJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell her that you have taught your daughter to do those things by herself and you wish that she would follow those guide lines that you have. tell her that things need to be the same at your house as they are at hers.
2007-07-01 22:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you did not mean it that way.
2007-07-01 22:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by Wrath Warbone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋