My daughter brought home what I consider to be an amulet...?

Question

of some type. She bought it at Williamsburg, VA. in the area where they tell about the witch trials. She told me about the store and showed me a shirt and a quill w/ink that she bought (for a friend!) but she hid this item from me. I found it later. It is a small pink bag with lavendar, a pink polished stone, and a dried flower bud (possibly poppy). I had asked her earlier if she had bought anything else at the store and she said no. I told her it bothered me that she wanted to give these items to anyone that she cared about. Because she hid this one item from me, I made her throw it away. Any thoughts from anyone? The shirt lists the names of those who were named as witches and killed.

I did talk to her about it and she knows that I have the belief that satan works through these things to confuse us. I only disposed of the item she hid and am letting her give the shirt and quill to her friend. I do know that MOST of those executed were innocent. It IS a good reminder and may even be helpful later on when Christians become the accused.

She is a Christian. Yes, I suppose I could have handled it better. I think I'll let her read the comments found here and let her decide if I was right or wrong.

No, it was my money that I gave her with express instructions NOT to buy things she knew I wouldn't approve of. That isn't so important though.

I did end up sitting with her and reading your messages. We discussed it and I decided I would buy her something like what she had. She said she did hide it because she knew I wouldn't like it. Thanks to all for your honesty. She and I do get along well most of the time.

Sorry too-not Williamsburg but Salem, Mass.

Answer 1

Wow my friend you really messed that one up! I'm a Christian mother as well, and it's my opinion that you missed an incredible opportunity to have your daughter open up to you.

Whether it's an amulet or not, I don't know. Do you know why your daughter didn't tell you about it? Because she knew what your reaction would be, so she hid it from you. Is she interested in the things of the occult? That's a natural thing to wonder about, and now she will find out about it without you to guide her.

My advice is to humble yourself, get the thing out of the trash and go apologize. Ask her why she picked this; because it was pretty and she liked the colors, or for some other reason? Perhaps it has nothing to do really with witchcraft, she was more interested in trying to get that special boy she likes to like her back.

If she is interested in the occult, then show interest with her. Look it up with her online and study it with her, show interest in what she is interested in. Then you will be right beside her to first read what it says, and then provide your own input as to your family's belief.

Then perhaps next time something like this happens, she won't hide it from you, but will know that if she's interested in something, mom is interested in knowing about it too.

Answer 2

An amulet is something that a person considers to have power. By giving it the significance you did, you gave it power. Not the mystical power you're assigning to it, but the power of the taboo. You made it forbidden. The only way you could have made the concept of an amulet more attractive to a girl is to put it on the guy she's got the biggest crush on.

You overreacted and you blew it a golden parenting opportunity.

You had a prime opportunity to sit down with your daughter and rationally discuss a few things and deepen your relationship with her at the same time. You had the opportunity to build up her trust in you and in your wisdom. You had the opportunity to discuss history that's a horrible and make sure she understood it. Instead, what have you accomplished? In all likelihood, you alienated her. You've taught her that she can't trust you not to react irrationally rather than to think calmly, listen to her, and then give her the benefit of your wisdom. You've taught her that if she has a religious crisis, she can't come to you. You've proven her right, that if she's interested in something she thinks you'll disagree with, you're going to overreact, indulge in some drama, and pay no attention to her in the matter; therefore, she can't come to you when she has questions or interests. What happens when she finds a boy she really, really likes and he feeds her that old line, "If you reaaaaally loved me...." Do you have any credibility with her? Your fear of the influence witchcraft in pre-Revolutionary War Virginia may or may not hold over her is counterproductive. How can you possibly build a solid parenting relationship with a girl when you turn something so ridiculous into federal case?

FYI: The Veterans of Foreign Wars, as well as other venerable institutions for soldiers both in the USA and internationally, use the poppy as a symbol for fallen soldiers. If you're insinuating that there's something evil or malicious about the poppy, then you're insinuating that there's something evil and malicious about soldiers and veterans.

Answer 3

That was kind of...rash. You didn't know what it was, so you acted out of...ignorance, let's say, and made her throw it away. If you took a little time out of your oh-so-busy life to sit down and actually listen to what your daughter thought about her purchases, maybe you would better understand exactly why she bought it.

Another thing - amulets are meant for protection, anyway. So if - and I'm not saying that it is, but if - it was an amulet anyway, she either

a) bought it because it looked interesting or some such thing, like one of those bags you sit on the table full of paprika?

b) she took an interest in such things

In either case, it was nothing to get so upset about. If she hid it from you, it was probably because she feared you would react EXACTLY the way you did - way to alleviate her fears.

This is coming from a misunderstood grand/daughter as well - only I won't let my beliefs be squashed, no matter how hard my oppressors - however indirect they may appear - try.

I even did some research for you, on amulets.

http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/a/amulets.html

~Taisi

Answer 4

I actually like the shirt. As Christians we need to look at those killed in witch trials over the centuries and repent of our part in their deaths, none of the Salem "witches" were Satan worshipers it was all political and most of the women who were killed as witches were simply crazy old women who need help not hanging.

I wonder if the Amulet was hidden because she thought that you may over react? Not that you have, but I have a teen age son and I have once or twice caught him hiding something from me or avoiding telling me and when i ask why he says "Well i thought you would say this or say that" predicting in his mind how I will react. He is wrong and I let him know it but sometimes kids are just like that.

Answer 5

Are you a Christian and perhaps your daughter is not? Whatever the situation, have an honest talk with her. Instead of just making her throw stuff away, tell her why you feel the way you do. And don't get angry or accusing or upset. Just let her know in an honest, loving way why you have these feelings and opinions. I pray to God He bless the conversation between the two of you and point her in a Godly direction.

Answer 6

It's debateable as to whether or not it was an amulet. However, it's interesting that your daughter hid the item from you, knowing you wouldn't approve of it.

Also its kind of creepy to wear a shirt with the names of people who were executed.

Answer 7

I wouldn't call that an amulet but what you call it is up to you. Still, it's a harmless collection of ordinary stuff.... lavendar, some nice-looking polished pink stone, a dried flower. In my opinion, she shouldn't have hidden them from you, but then again you shouldn't have thrown them out. How would you feel if someone decided to throw out something of yours?

Answer 8

There ya go make her throw it away and you didn't even know what it was. That's a mature thing to do.

It was probably just a rose quartz, the stone. It's for love. The flower was probably just something to symbolize love also.

Now if you had gotten on to her for lying I could completely understand that. She needs to learn not to lie to you. She did however because she knew you wouldn't let her have that little bag. It could have been handled differently. Seriously the bag was harmless.

Answer 9

Well in wicca we do not believe int he the Devil or Satan. The majority of Pagans do nto as well. We believe that whatever you do will come back to you three fold be it good or bad. That's on detorant. Also the Wiccan Rede "Do as you will and Harm none" has nothig eveil about it. Harm none being anyone physically, emotionally or mentally. Wiccans (and Pagans) get a bad wrap in general.

Answer 10

So what was your problem with the "amulet" it can't do anything, and by making her throw it away, you have given her more reason to hide things from you. Obviously she is expressing a curiosity about the occult. The "amulet" is superstition. It is your actions that are more likely to drive her toward this out of rebellion.

Concentrate on your relationship with your daughter so she won't feel the need to hide things from you.