How would you stop critisizing others so much...?

Question

As in calling them fat, or focusing on their flaws? Both at home and in public. Any way to help me with this?

Ex: calling someone with acne, crater face. Or making fun of someone because they're fat. Please help.

Some of my friends do that and it's very rude. It started rubbing off on me I think.

It's rude, not to mention embarrassing.

Answer 1

next time you're about to criticise someone, just remind yourself that the only people who criticise are those who need to put others down to make themselves feel good. if you're pointing out someone's flaws, its only because you're so conscious about your own.

Answer 2

This is tough, it's difficult to not "Be part of the crowd". The easy way out for me would be to say "Get new friends", but that isn't realistic or constructive, is it?

Here is what I did. When your out with these friends, every time the critise someone - compliment the person. Try to find one nice thing about them. And say it out loud.

eg "She's fat! -"Yes, but doesn't she have pretty eyes?", "He has a crater face." "Yeah, but he's wearing Armani - must have some cash!"

The irony here - and something most people realize is any single individual in a group dynamic tends to have the same amount of influence as any other. I did this with my freinds (who were very cruel) and I noticed soon they started complimenting more then insulting. Because they saw me being a nice person and they liked something about it.

I used to run a BBS (Long ago - look it up) and we had this thing called Flame wars like a chat where people just got on to insult each other. (I know, but a good catharsis and no one got hurt). I noticed everyone was so profane! So I got on, made a very insulting post but used no profanity and then made it clear that I thought vulgarity showed a lack of imagination on the part of the flamer. From that moment on - no one used any profanity again! It was absolutly Shakespearian some of the stuff they came up with!

Be the example. Stop following and lead, there, pal.

Answer 3

You're a real package, aren't you? Insolent, critical, with a quick, sharp tongue.

Never say anything derogatory to anybody you respect. Absolutely never to your parents.

You can think it if you want, but keep it in your mouth and don't let it out. Not now, not ever.

There are so many items of etiquette there is no place to start. My family insisted on good manners when I was little, so they're second nature to me.

Dress nicely, comb your hair and brush your teeth. Be friendly, the first to offer a handshake. Look them in the eye and smile. Focus on having a positive conversation--with your peers, it's okay to joke, tastefully of course--but no joking with superiors until you get to know them better.

I think with you, if this is you we're talking about, the key is going to be not saying everything that comes into your mind. A person who blurts out inappropriate matters seems less in control, a loose cannon. People will be less apt to trust you because they can't predict how you will act. That makes them uncomfortable.

So, that's it for today's class. Summary: Look good, smile, be friendly and make sure that everything that you say is appropriate.

Answer 4

You obviously get some kind of perverse pleasure when you cause someone hurt feelings or embarrassment by the things you say. Get some help to find out why you feel the need to hurt others. When you know the reason, then you will be able so stop your rude and immature behavior.

Don't use your friends as an excuse. They don't make your decisions for you, do they?

Answer 5

Simply don't don't it and don't encourage your friends by laughing. Imagine you were alone, and a bloke and all his friends picked at your flaws and you became a laughing stock? It's not big or clever, so stop. We all are guilty of this to some degree, and it was very brave of you to admit it's rude. If your friends ways don't change, then maybe it's time to change to more mature friends. The first step is realising that it's wrong, and you have done this already, so well done you!

Answer 6

Often, when someone likes to point out the flaws of others, it is because he feels insecure about himself. They then try to pull attention away from their own flaws and direct the attention onto someone else. Maybe you should think about it from that angle. Start feeling good about you.

Answer 7

When your friends start making fun at people, don't join in; smile but keep mum. In time, you'll learn not to criticize anyone with defects. Better yet, find yourself a new friend or group of friends. Your present group needs to be avoided, they're bad influence.

Answer 8

He/she obviously has their own self esteem problems. Those that point out faults in others tend to feel so insecure about themselves that they want to focus the attention to others so they won't have it upon themselves. However, the opposite effect usually happens, and they look like a jerk/bully doing it. I have no respect or desire to be around people like that. You need to start hanging with nicer people who don't have such issues.

Answer 9

It would be just as easy for someone to point out your flaws. Nobodies perfect. You friends sound like a- -holes.

Answer 10

Don't focus on the person's flaws. Find something good about them and focus on that. You are not pefect. You, most likely, have some flaws of your own