My wedding is in August and I sent out invitation specifying the amount of people that person can bring but now all these people are adding in two and three time more of guest of what was permitted and most of these guest are children. How do I tell them that I did not want a bunch of children at my wedding because it is not a birthday party its a wedding. Plus were I am getting married they count the children as a adult and my wedding reception alone went from 6000$ to 8000$ all in children and people who were not invited how do I go about telling people that its only one guest per person? Note: these are only people who are not family and very very close family I let them bring who ever they wanted but why should I have to pay all this money for people who I never even invited?
2007-07-01 12:38:20 · 9 answers · asked by carmelea 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
people should never start tacking on people that are coming to your wedding. that is wrong and you should not give in to their demands. call these rudo people up, tell them you are on a budget and the invitation was just for those certain people. people think that they are entitled to do whatever they want. if they REALLY wanted their kids to come, they would have called and asked permission, not just write it on the RSVP card. you note they are not family so i do not see why there will be any hurt feelings. you want your wedding a certain way, do not let them ruin it.
2007-07-01 12:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married this december and also am having an adults only reception. I love kids but wanted a day of just adults having an elegant fun time without their children. I have not sent out invitations yet, but i did make sure to put "ADULTS ONLY RECPETION" on the professionally done invite in big bold stand alone letters. HOWEVER, i know there will still be a few people who either cant read or chose to ignore what it says...it seems you are seeing a lot of that. The best way to handle that is to contact the person who invited them...so if its your moms cousin or friend call and ask her to contact them and politely explain that this is an adults only reception. if they press the issue, honesty is the best policy. Have her explain the financial burden additional guests would cause. If you have to call these people yourself, I would do pretty much the same thing. Tell them that although you would love to include everyone, you are limited to the number of guests you can accomodate & therefore that is why you only invited guest+1. Usually they will understand. You may have one odd ball who will cause a fuss, but dont worry about it...its your day! And know that even after the calls, some weirdo relative will bring a kid...and think nothing of it. So always account for a few more than you think will be coming.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
2007-07-03 07:49:13 · answer #2 · answered by mikejustine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is very rude of them to do that, but there's nothing you can do, they're doing it anyways. So, here's how you can handle the situation tactfully. If you are not allowing any children (or only a couple of children who are very close to you), let the people know that this is an adults only wedding. That while you love their kids you've opted for only adults at the wedding and reception. If the problem isn't just children, which it sounds like it may not be, let the guests know that you want the wedding to be just friends and family, so you are asking for no more than 1 guest per person.
2007-07-03 14:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by Charlene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you have asked two separate questions.
Should you have to pay for uninvited guests? No! If you invite Jane +1 then you should only be expected to pay for 2 if she chooses to RSVP 3 then you can call her and let her know that it isn't in the budget but you did want to offer her the opportunity to pay for that additional person herself.
Should I allow children at the wedding/reception? That depends. Why are you getting married? A marriage ceremony is to commit yourself to man for life and raise a family (if possible or wanted) with that man. Now are you having a flower girl or ring bearer? Are they both only children? Inviting families to your wedding is about the real world and wouldn't take away any attention from the bride.
Go ahead a few years from now and ask yourself if your sister or best friends or close friend of your husband was inviting you to a wedding that included children in the wedding party and included you +1 on the invitation. Would you feel right going to this wedding and leaving your children behind knowing they may have friends at that wedding or would you call the bride and offer to pay for the kids.
Marriage is about the future and families and children should always be welcome.
Good luck and remember that your wedding is a ceremony and a party and your marriage is supposed to be your life.
2007-07-01 19:55:31 · answer #4 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that if you want a bunch of children at your wedding you should have them and it is totally unfair that your wedding cost should go up $2,000 dollars. One idea might be to tell people that you would like none of these guests to be under the age of 12 or something like that. Not only would this cut out all of the young children, it might cut out some of the older kids too because the parents will need somebody to babysit if they do not bring there younger kids.
2007-07-01 19:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by ♥iluvfoodnetwork♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Quite simply, the issue is not whether you like children or whether you like your friends' friends but these words: they were not invited.
You contact the unmannerly folk who have decided to bring more guests than allotted and inform them gently but firmly - and if need be repeatedly - that you cannot accomodate extra guests.
"I'm sorry, but we simply cannot accomodate extra guests."
Learn it. Repeat it. Say it with a sweet but slightly regretful smile. Refuse to be drawn into an argument. Make no mention of childrens' birthday parties or pricetags or who you did allow to bring extra guests. This will only make them think a) you hate them and wish to punish them for having children, or b) they, too, can find a way around the rules because they are also very, very close to you.
"I'm sorry, but we simply cannot accomodate extra guests."
2007-07-01 19:53:10 · answer #6 · answered by gileswench 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to pay for the kids, I know that at my wedding there's no way that everyone will be able to bring their kids, the budget won't allow. If I were you, I'd just call and tell the people who plan on stocking the minivan that the invite was intended just for the person and their sig. other. Be nice about it, and explain it to them, I'm sure most people will understand...there's no reason why you should have to pay that amount for people who you don't want there anyways.
2007-07-01 19:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by meg 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, or have a children's sleepover hosted by someone who can't make it to the wedding. Like an "auntie" or "niece" who is responsible. Of course pay her lot's. Like $200 + have the parents pick the kidz up in the early afternoon the next day. Take them to the zoo or other "kid friendly" place. Gives the parents a break too...weddings inspire romance where couples have lost some of the spark.
2007-07-01 19:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mee-OW =^..^= 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No, you should not have to pay for those extra guests. Unfortunately, what you and your mom and the groom's mom are going to have to do is call these guests who RSVPed their extra guests, and simply explain to them (politely) that there is no room for the extra guests, and there is no way that the children and others can be accommodated, and that they are not welcome.
2007-07-01 20:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋