Is there any way to do this without being tacky?

Question

I know some of you guys are going to be haters on this subject, but I am getting married May 31, 2008. This is both our second marriage, but my first marriage was when I was 19 and lasted a couple months (did not have a wedding) and his first marriage lasted 7 years and she cheated on him twice. So anyway, we are having a wedding w about 100-150 people. Between the two of us, we have four children (one for me, three for him) so instead of a honeymoon, we are doing a family vacation to california (where my whole family is from) to do the disneyland/sea world/universal studios/ and san diego zoo package. We will all be out there for about 12 days. We own everything we need for a house, etc, so i was wondering if there is any appropriate way to suggest monetery gifts rather then the normal/traditional wedding gifts? I know they do honeymoon registries, so we were kinda hoping to get money to help pay for our honeymoon/family vacation instead. I do not want to be tacky though.

We are saving up for it. We are going to be buying a house around February of that year as well, so we are having o save up for both. All I am saying is that we really have EVERYTHING that you would get from a traditional gift, so it would be nice to recieve money to make the trip a little easier. Otherwise, I am not sure what people could ge us anyway.

Told you some of you would be haters. "If we didnt have the big wedding, we could afford the vacation" For one, we could afford the vacation, it will just be tight. Second, I AM NOT PAYING FOR MY WEDDING. my parents are. My first marriage was a stupid mistake and they know that. After that marriage, I went to college, got my education, and raised my daughter completely on my own, and paying for her to be in private school to get the best education possible. I work hard, and when I announced I was engaged, they were exstatic and asked me if they could give me the wedding they always dreamt of giving their only daughter. So stop being jerks to me, damn.....I wanted to know if I could do his without being tacky, I wasnt saying I am poor, and everyone HAS to give me money. why do you guys act like that is what I am doing?

Answer 1

I'd say the best thing to do is use word of mouth. If your family is anything like mine then they will be asking the parents and you and any siblings what you need. You could ask them to explain what you are doing and anything in that regards would be appreciated. I had a cousin get married and when I asked my Aunt what she needed, she said that they were taking an Alaskan cruise and that she had already arranged for a guide on one of their trips and so maybe some extra cash for a different side trip would be nice. I wasn't insulted or thought it tacky because it was approached in a thoughtful, tasteful way.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Asking for money is just always tacky there is no way to avoid that but if you are comfortable with a honeymoon registry that is really your best option. Just break up the increments to what people would normally pay for wedding gifts in i.e. 25, 50, 75, 100 and a few 10 and 15 if you like.

Answer 3

One way to do this is to not register anywhere. Most people will probably just give money that way. Another way is word of mouth from others like family. Many family members ask immediate family what you'll want/need and immediate family can drop hints about the vacation or new house and see if they bite. Also, you can actually register for the vacation and see if that works out. Other than that, I don't think you can outright say you want money and have it not be tacky and rude.

Have a great life and happy marriage and Good luck!! :)

Answer 4

It is tacky to ask your guests for a monatary gift. Forget it. Just hope for the best. In the year 2007 more and more people are giving money instead of wedding gifts. Years ago, there was no such thing as a bridal shower, engagement party...people did not have money, so when they got married, people gave household gifts. Now it is a different story. But to ask for money, so you can go on vacation, that is a big NO NO. Not classy at all.

Answer 5

No - there's no way to verbally ask for money without sounding tacky. Just no way around it. You really NEED to register at one place so people have some kind of choice as to where they can buy you a gift if they prefer to do that. I chose Target because they put gift cards on the registry and we ended up getting MANY gift cards which was sooo nice!! We used them for everyday things! I would do a honeymoon registry also where people can purchase activities for the whole family. They can also pitch in for the cost of the hotel and other things. Just research it on the internet - "honeymoon registry"

Answer 6

LOL-
Maybe your parents will pay for the vacation too after all you're their little princess. You've been married twice already between you and have 4 kids.

Don't have the wedding and save a lot of money. Let's see 100 people and you'll spend what $20 a head? That's $2,000. You probably won't make that much.

Answer 7

I not too long ago requested this very query. Two weeks in the past my fiance and I made the choice to transport our outside marriage ceremony within. We had no concept that accommodations had been as affordable as they're. We are spending not up to 3k on our marriage ceremony complete. The Red Lion resort presents tables and chairs and linens for the rite and reception. If you order adequate meals from them, the ballrooms are loose. They are developing a cake desk and visitor publication desk. But I need to say, the nicest factor of all is the truth that they installed the whole lot and take it down on the finish of the night. They are offering a bar and bartender correct there within the ballroom so the visitors do not need to depart the room. They have centerpieces additionally, they usually throw in a loose honeymoon suite room for the night time. Not dangerous with 112 visitors coming. We stored on plant life, desk leases, reception lawn apartment, and now we do not need to fear approximately our prime heels sticking into the grass! I assumed they could be out of our funds, but if a pal point out a resort deal she had gotten, I began watching round. Easy and carefree. We handiest need to adorn our tables with a few ribbon draped throughout it, and the bridal get together plant life. You would wish to verify it out, you can be amazed. Good good fortune!

Answer 8

Word of mouth. DO NOT PUT GIFT INFORMATION ON INVITATIONS. As long as you stuck to that you are perfectly within the realms of ettiqute. If you do register for the people that want to give items just don't register for kid's toys. I have seen alot of people who do think that is tacky.

I wouldn't do those honeymoon registries though. Most are a total scam unless your family just really doesn't want to give you cash directly.

I also reccomend registering for Wal-mart and putting gift cards on the registry. I know the items aren't that great but you could use the gift cards to buy groceries and grocery money for the vacation so it would basically be the same. They have a pretty open return policy too.

Answer 9

People say that it is tacky.

I would prefer someone to tell me what they want/need. If it is someone that has been living together or already married once, I always give cash, b/c I figure they already have what they need.

You know the people that you are inviting. Have a friend or family member spread the word. Don't include that you'd like people to help with the cost of vacation. No one needs to know what you are doing with the money.

Congrats on your wedding.
Again, I would rather KNOW what the person wants so that I can give them what they needed.

Answer 10

It would be tacky to put in the invitation "cash gifts pnly please" to not put any registry info and have family and friends spread the word when people ask where you're registered that you would prefer money is not tacky.... There will still be some people who will get you gifts, but let's hope if you don't like them you can return them! ;-)