I've known them for over 9 years. The first time I met them I fell in love with the woman and felt my heart sink when I found out they were married. But I would never want to come between two people especially not friends. Well the guy dumped her 2 months ago after almost 14 yrs of marriage and I just found this out. I tried to get back in touch with them and the woman told me they were just divorced. She invited me to attend church with her today and then asked me if I wanted to get some lunch. She is devastated with him leaving.
Meanwhile inside I am torn. It was easier when they were together and so I never even entertained thoughts about the woman. But now that he left her, I want her. I know people need to mourn the loss of a LTR and I don't want to pressure her. But at same time I kinda feel like a liar because I am listening to her cry over her ex all the while I wished she was my wife. I feel like I should tell her the truth, but how and when? Help!!
2007-07-01 11:06:49 · 3 answers · asked by wtptoo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is your moment of truth. The next time she asks you out, you agree. While you're out, you tell her, "Sweety, here's the thing. You know I'm here to support you while you're feeling down and going through a tough time in your life, but there is something you should know up front: I have very strong feelings for you, I always have. I'm not asking anything of you, I just want you to know that although I'm your friend, I have feelings that are more than just friendly towards you. If that makes you feel uncomfortable, please tell me now. I know you're going through a hard time and I want you to understand that I'm here for you, but I also want you to know the way I feel so there's no confusion...okay?" If she can't handle the truth, so be it. You never know, she might be initially thrown off and not call you for awhile...but then she might decide to call you when she's had time to re-evaluate her feelings and find herself open to a serious relationship with her. She might also tell you that she's been attracted to you for a long time as well. It's difficult to tell how it will go. One thing is for sure, if you and her decide to get serious, and you're still friends with her husband, you need to go to him and tell him that you intend to start seeing his former wife. You don't need to ask his permission, but you need to be up front with him as well. You don't need to tell him about your pre-divorce crush on his former wife, but you need to at least tell him your future intentions. If he's a friend, he'll understand that being divorced means your former spouse gets to sleep with anyone she chooses...if he's not a good friend, you'll find out soon enough.
2007-07-08 17:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your chance!
She's hurt, and YOUR there to pick up the pieces!
Dont give up!
she wants to spend time with you! You apparently want the same thing.
2007-07-01 18:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy your a peace of work be honest for once in your life
2007-07-01 18:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋