Even on the small mistakes she makes I lash out and get so upset and yell at her. If I am having a bad day and she is around then she will get yelled at.
FYI- she is 5 1/2
2007-07-01 10:46:28 · 40 answers · asked by Ari's Mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You need therapy.
2007-07-01 10:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl W 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It looks like you're getting a lot of abuse with this question, but I think just the fact that you're seeing that what you're doing is a problem is the first step. I'm not sure what your family situation is - is dad around - going through a divorce, it sounds like there are other issues there that need to be dealt with. But you really need to take control of the situation and maybe walking out of the house and breathing for a minute would help, THEN come back in the house and tell her that you love her and let her know you have a problem with your anger. You might also look at some therapy because continued verbal abuse can be very harmful to the little one. Hang in there and really look at her for the little child that she is. Best of luck.
2007-07-08 18:04:33 · answer #2 · answered by PuppyLove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was your daughter planned or unplanned?
is it just the two of you?
are you feeling isolated and stressed so you irrationally blame her?
is your daughter timid?
does she shy away from you?
can she sense when to stay out of your way?
blowing off steam by yelling never killed anyone (as far as I know) but it words can and do cause unseen damage that some personalities get over and others don't. someone with low self esteem will respond negatively to harsh words while someone with high self esteem might try harder to excel when subjected to the same treatment.
You know when you are having a bad day, and you also know that taking it out on your daughter is not the right path so perhaps call a close friend or mentor when you feel the rage building so they can help talk you down or listen as you rage so it does not spiral out of control onto your daughter.
2007-07-01 11:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you realize that you have a problem here. Remember she is only 5. Have you tried exercising to exert stress, anger management classes or a therapist. Also make sure that both of you get out. Are you in the house all day together alone? Do you have an activity or hobby that doesn't involve kid. Do you have your own life as well as Mommy life. Start with a therapist.
2007-07-04 20:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by Kari K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, what a very judgmental group we have here. i guess everyone here are perfect parents with perfect little children. Yeah right!!
Try not to let other negative comments put you down. A good sign is that you recognize your problem.
A good solution is to talk to family about a little break. sometimes we need to step back from a situation to really think clearly about it. maybe a trusted family member or friend can watch your daughter for a day or even a few hours. clear your head
you also need to figure out what is causing so much stress in your life and do your best to eliminate it or lessen it.
and most importantly, you tell that little girl how much you love her. you can never say it enough!
i hope i helped
2007-07-07 09:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you had the nerve to ask us about this problem, that possibly tell us you had the balls and you want to change. How old is your daughter? doesn't matter how old she's suffering!!! be very careful because by your actions, you are changing her character / personality and is not going to a good direction, trust me. One day she'll do something very stupid and that will be thanks to you. Think about it, things not corrected on time they become chronic and it's too late to fix. Let's be realistics here. I believe this is your routine every day towards your daughter, right? Definetly you need help coping with your problems, your frustations, your impotence towards "something" and you focus on your daughter to let all this crap go a little. No, this is wrong, totally wrong.....you need to talk to your husband (if he's around and is not a looser), someone from your family, a friend, your Doctor... SOMEBODY, you really need to talk to somebody fast, before a tragedy occurs. This is serious. You have no idea what you are doing to yourself, your daughter and your family, Please seek help. We'll be thinking of you, and please let us know about your progress.
2007-07-08 06:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself in counseling, woman. You need to learn why you are so angry and how to manage that anger. You didn't say, but I would guess you are on your own and struggling. Depression doesn't just mean you hide in your bedroom all day. Depression can manifest itself in all sorts of maladaptive behavior (which, contrarily, is what helps you keep going. There are services available through your local MHMR dept. if you can not afford, or your insurance does not cover, psychological treatment. Remember, you owe being healthy to yourself and to your daughter. Rage may be the prelude to physical abuse, and even if it isn't, no one deserves to be screamed at all the time. You CAN be helped, and you WILL feel better. Best of luck to you.
2007-07-01 10:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counting, pick up the phone, go outside. there are several things you can to instead of lashing out at your innocent daughter. do you like it when she is having a bad day, and crying, or mis-behaving? well, thats not your fault, just like it isnt her fault you are having a bad day. hell, if you want someone to yell at. get on the computer, warn people that you are going to vent, then let lose. at least then your daughter wont be the target. not trying to be mean, just truthfull
2007-07-04 07:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by della 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you know you are boiling or ready to blow a fuse leave the room.... Your daughter will learn from how you act and copy you because you are her role model.
We all lose our cool at some time, you just have to learn to deal with it. Make sure you spend time with your daughter thats positive. Sit and read with her, talk about how your day has gone and ask how her day was. Communicate!
If you think you need help with your anger go to see your doctor he will refer you to someone who can help you.
I'd like to say well done to you for admitting that you have a problem and for trying to get advice.
:))
2007-07-01 10:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Lindy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please do try to intervene on her behalf. Kids' behavior patterns are often set before her age. You don't want her to repeat your habit.
I HIGHLY recommend any of the books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish but especially: "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family" "and "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen: And Listen So Kids Can Talk" as parenting books. Honestly, it will help with parenting issues. I found that, after reading them, I responded more logically and less reactionary to my kids' behavior issues. I don't feel like I "took it out on them" but I do know that it helped me because I felt more focused on the end-result of my parenting than in the instantaneous responses that emmerge without real long-term parenting ideals.
But if your temper is an issue outside of this, talk to someone. Do you have family counseling services through your insurance or employer.?
2007-07-01 10:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by BeamMeUpMom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every time you catch yourself doing that, apologize to your child. Let them know that it wasn't their fault and that you were having a bad day. Let her know that you are going to try harder not to yell at her just because you're in a bad mood.
Find time to destress each day. Easier said than done, I know. Get a yoga video or deep breathing instructional video. Read the Bible or short devotional book. Take a bath with the door closed. After she goes to bed, do something nice to pamper yourself.
2007-07-09 07:03:36 · answer #11 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋