Why are my kids such a spoiled little snotheads?

Question

I have a 7 year old boy and a 6 year old girl who are whining, spiteful, ugly little snotheads who never do anything their parents tell them to do. I've done everything to get them under control. I've tried everything from taking away privileges, to putting them in the juvenile center, to punishing them within one inch of their worthless lives. Behavior has not changed one bit.

I'm running out of ideas. If I don't find a solution soon then I might need to kick them out of the house.

Well...maybe not everything duh which is why I'm asking. :)

Answer 1

well, first of all you need to show them that you are in contorl..
Second you need to do is take away stuff that the like not necessarily what they play with..
If a friend invites them to a birthday party and they want to go, say no.
At this age they should have chores, like helping with the dishes, sorting the laundry, help folding, putting clothes away, etc.. They might not do it exactly the way you want it, but at least you are showing them respondbility.. Then if I needs to be redone, wait until the are out side, or at school. This way you don't hurt there feeling, and the will feel more confident that they did something....
Get a chore whell this is fun and it stops the aruguing..
If you are in a public place like resturant, and they start acting up, put everyone's meal in a doggy bag and go home. Say to your guest your sorry, but my kids don't know how to behave..
Make sure that your not giving them too much sugars.. Rather say apple, or orange.
Sweet things should be a treat...
If they are acting up, during school time, when they come home, it's homework, dinner, bath, bedtime. Which means no tv, computer, outside, nothing... If they don't eat, oh well still send them to bed. They will learn that tomorrow they better eat or they will be hungry....
Make sure that your "NO" means "NO" !!!
And when they talk to you, listen, and when they yell at you, send them to their rooms, and tell them when they are ready to come out and talk to you with respect then you will listen...
It's your house. Make them know this. Yes they live there and they are your kids, but at the same time, they need to respect what they have...
Keep them busy, go to your local rec center, and register them in a class for the summer. This way they will run their little legs off and it will give you a break...
And for every cus word, make a jar, make them pay 25 cents...
This comes out of their allowence, and luch money that you give them.... Otherwise, they have to brown bag their luch....
And if they don't like what you have, like I said, they will be hungry for dinner.
When they get up in the moring, make your bed, put your laundry in the basket, clean up their room. Then come down for breakfast... etc.... If not they will be hungry for luch.....
Tell them breakfast ends at 8 or 9 am and if they don't make it, it's not on you. Kitchen is closed, to snacks, water, want something to drink etc... Get a child's alarm on the refigator and a lock.....
Make it a boot camp mom's house, soon they will hate it and get the point....
There are many things your can do... Just stick to your guns.
Also set a special time aside during the day (if they been good) and read to them, do an arts and crafts project etc....
At dinner time spend time with them on asking how there day went, and listen to them.... Show interest... Give them praise where praise is due.
And if they been good all week, take them out for luch, dinner, ice cream, etc.... But if they act up once, cancle it, and go to plan "B", you at the same time need to find a babysitter and have some personal time to yourself...... This way you can relax and get the tlc that you need. The rules should apply when your not there and make sure the babysitter is aware of your arragements.... Otherwise, it's not going to happen overnight, but they are still young now, and if you don't go to these extree measures now it might be too late....Good luck....I hope this helps.....

Answer 2

I'm sure we all can see that the four of you need some tough love but mostly you. You set the tone, attitude, temperament and you must have seen that when you're happy they behave better. The problem is that you seem to never have that emotion if they're always misbehaving, it's a cycle. There're no easy answers or pills so you're it! I was taken aback when I read that you've already sent them to Juvie! I truly think that you need to make the time & effort to stop misbehaving yourself!
Apparantly & by what you've written, there's been much harm given & taken there but it's not irreversible. My 1st thought was to get mad at your treatment of them but I know that when I feel anger, it's MY issue not yours...long story. Please stop what you're doing, sit the family down and tell them what you've written here then show them one or two answers at a time as a topic for each night of the week. Gently encouraged them to say what they feel and why they need to act out in a negative way to you. Many times the only way kids can ask for your love an attention is to act out negatively cuz they know you'll pay attention to that. Lastly, I hope you break this cycle now, before they may act the same with they're kids.
Please try n get into a church & put them in with other kids learning about God and His goodness. You all can benefit with the blessings you'll receive. Hang out with the good people & learn how to be Godly. God Bless you all.

Answer 3

Okay. First thing's first. You didn't get into this situation overnight. Which means it won't be solved overnight. If they're whining, spiteful, and disobedient, then you taught them to be that way. However, you can teach them to be different.

What you have to do is implement consistent discipline no matter what. I don't mean beatings. That means, tell them what the punishment will be, and stick with it, no matter how much they protest. If they watch TV, take away the TV for a week. If they have a video game, take it away for a week. If they do it again, tell them it goes away for two weeks. And so on.

I really think television is a large part of the problem. Because if you watch shows on Disney or Nick or anywhere else, you'll notice all the kids are snot nose brats, too. So your kids emulate them.

Next, you need to tell them what the expectations are for behavior. You can't just punish. Children are expected to be family members and participate in the life of the family by doing chores. That means making up their beds and picking up their rooms and helping set the table. Kids have a knack for molding themselves to the expectations of others. If you have no expectations for their behavior, then that's your fault not theirs.

Just as importantly, they are expected to show respect for you and each other. That means insults, snide comments, begging, whining, etc., are grounds for punishment. Teaching them manners is a good way to do this. For manners are not some arcane set of rules, but rather a way to ensure that all people are respected in any given social situation. Do it now, and your children will hate you. But they'll sure as hell thank you about the time they turn 30.

Finally, it sounds as if you've tried a lot of different tactics. It's more important to choose one and STICK WITH IT NO MATTER WHAT. Kids are not dumb. If you are inconsistent in how you discipline your kids, they'll look for loopholes and wear you down.

So get with the program today. And remember this saying:

"Don't cripple your children by making their lives easy."

Answer 4

They are 6 and 7 years old and your threatening to kick them out of the HOUSE!!!! You definitely need to take some parenting classes. If you can't handle them at this age, I wouldn't even want to be near you when they enter their teenage years. (I've raised 7) The problem is (like Dr. Phil says) "the tail is wagging the dog." Your kids know how to jerk your chain and they are doing it quite well apparently. You have to get back into control without the "hatred" you seem to be directing toward your children. They know that you don't like them, so why should they behave. I am sure it is a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation for them. You need to become the parent again, that loves your children but also demands respect. In return, they receive unconditional love and respect for who they are. To get off on the right foot, try parenting classes or family counseling. I am just sitting here astonished to hear that your children have been to a Juvenile Center all ready!!! You need help now!!!

Answer 5

I'm sorry you will have to look to you and your husband and perhaps grandparents to explain your kid's behaviors. Most kids whine---that is normal (annoying--but normal). Are they better separate? Are you spending enough time with each of them or do you both work? If they are worse together, try spending extra time with each one alone. Also, make sure your husband does the same. Punishing your kids will not change their behaviors--they will just be angry at you.
You may also try positive reinforcements. Start out by using a board and placing their names at the top--when they have accomplished a goal (such as not answering back) they get a star. Make the stars equal something that the kids like---such as tv watching, video games or going out for ice cream.
You've allowed these babies to walk all over you.
Let them know who runs the household. Don't yell at them. Stay firm that you will not tolerate their behavior.
If all else fails, take them to a counselor to discuss their issues. Be sure to find someone who deals specifically with children. My guess is your kids are awfully angry at you and have not communicated what.

Answer 6

Honestly, it sounds to me like you dislike your kids. This is alot of the problem. Im not condemning you dont take this the wrong way. But kids become what you drill into their heads. If your telling them they are ugly snotheads and you critisize them this is why. Try to pray about this. Your kids dont need to be punished as much as they need love. I am a mother with very little patience myself, but I have learned that my kids act out even more when they feel like I dont love them the way I should. Reward them for doing good and take things away from them for acting up. I would put one night aside each week to sit down with them and spend time. Maybe playing board games or something. I hope everything works out. I am a strong believer in prayer. I think if you have faith in God and tell him to please take care of this and believe with your whole heart that he will, then hes gonna open up your eyes and show you what needs to be done.

Answer 7

You really do need to see about getting some family counseling. Your parenting skills are probably inconsistent. You let them get away with something this week, but not next week, etc. Children need better defined boundaries.

You need to love your children, too, and let them know you love them. How can you talk about them like you do? I'll bet you say these things to them. A loving parent doesn't describe his or her children as spiteful, ugly or snotheads. Sounds like you need to do some growing up, too.

Answer 8

Chances are they're testing ALL boundaries. Stick with them! Both of your children and you could sit down and decide on some ground rules and consequences. You're the boss, and while you're open to their suggestions, you essentially are the one who decides what's going to happen. Threatening kids doesn't always work, but keeping your cool and following the rules that you've all worked on together may. Another positive motivator is to let them know when they've done good things, when you're proud of their behavior. It could be verbal ("It makes me so proud of you when you're behaving so nicely!") or it could be a hug (I don't recommend giving them things though). You may be surprised to see that they actually enjoy making you proud of them. Sometimes if kids feel that you're always mad at them, then there's no reason for them to even try to do anything good. Positive reinforcement can really help at this age (before it's too late!).

Answer 9

I'd just like to say something. How on earth can you live with yourself treating your very own children this way? You are a horrible parent if the way you treat them is even a tenth as cruel as how you described them in this question. If this question is true, you should have your children taken away and put in a foster home. You don't deserve them.

Answer 10

I am really sorry, that must be very stressful. I am not trying to be a smartass here, but I think you might want to email Supernanny, and see if she can help. I have watched that show and I find it just amazing how she works with the parents and the kids to get things right. I don't know how everything goes once she's completely gone, they don't give updates, but this Jo Frost is really amazing to me.