why are homeschooling parents so touchy??

Question

I am a big fan of homeschooling. I have been homeschooling my kids for years. If anybody asks me about homeschooling they would be sorry they asked, because i would go on my soap box for an hour, (if anybody would have time to listen) and go on and on about the advantages. I too, am fed up with the big S question-Socialization!
However, i notice that on Yahoo Answers, any time somebody comes along and states an opinion against homeschooling, they get so many negative ratings that their answer is hidden.
I think people are entitled to their opinion. One person for example came on saying he/she never met a homeschooler who is socially 'normal' and that is his or her experience with homeschoolers. This person's answer was hidden due to negative rating. All this person did was state their experience. Everyone is welcome to explain to this person why he/she may be having this kind of experience and why their judgement can be in error. But why all the negative clicks?
I see the same

well, i see it didnt let me type more, so i'm finishing over here. I was going to say that i see this type of thing everywhere i go on the homeschooling section of YA. Nobody is allowed to say anything negative about homeschooling. What kind of attitude is this? There are advantages and disadvatages to everything including homeschool.
Please explain to me, what is it that makes you give someone a negative rating just because the person is not in favor of homeschooling?

KrisB, i really have to hand it to you! You seem like an extremely intelligent, insightful and understanding person. Thank you for your answer!
and Gbovs, as far as your grandchildren, i think something else is going on here besides that your grandchildren are homeschooled. I mean homeschooling doesn't have to mean staying IN THE HOUSE all day! Dont your grandchildren go to the store with their parents? Dont they see their parents interacting with other people, at the store, at the library, and so forth? Dont they see other chidren on their block or in their neighborhood??? I cant say i deserve a award for making sure my homeschooled kids are involved with 'formal' out of schol activities, but my daughter is in sleepaway camp right now, and my son has the kids he hangs out with on the block. Maybe this doesnt have to be a homeschooling issue. Instead of trying to convince your daughter to send her kids to school, maybe you can suggest they do moe to encourage the kids to meet others

And just to prove my point, see how gbovs already has a negative rating! She didnt say one wrong thing! All she is saying is what she sees with her grandchildren, and with what she sees, she has a right to be concerned.

Answer 1

I agree with the point that the "answer" that received thumbs down on this particular question did not answer your question.
I give thumbs down on this entire forum, but it is always either because the person did not answer the question or gave incorrect information.
What I have seen on the homeschooling area, though is a tendency for anti homeschoolers to state opinion as documented fact, and that, too, will get a thumbs down from me.
Not because I do not believe a person is entitled to an opinion, but simply because I want to do something, anything, to draw attention to the point that the answer is only their opinion or nothing more than feelings or an extremely limited viewpoint, and not documented fact as they usually try to make people think.
But, if I do give a thumbs down for that type of remark, then I will, everytime mind you, go in and give an answer that will state why I do not agree with the answer I "downed" I do not go in and say "hey I downed that other answer, here's why" but I will instead give "the other side of the situation"
For example if someone asks a question "should I homeschool my children" and someone comes on and says "no, it's a terrible idea. your children will be isolated and weird and stupid, because I had a cousin that lived next door to someone that knew someone that homeschooled and he said those kids were weird"
well, I will thumbs down that remark, then answer it from the viewpoint of someone that is in a large homeschool group, and actually has first hand experience with over 250 families.

As far as your problem of the negative answers being hidden, you can adjust your settings to show all answers, regardless of the amount of thumbs down. And if you, or anyone else wants to read a "hidden" answer, all they have to do is simply click the "show" button.

So, my point is, freedom of expression and opinion works both ways. I never have, and never will say someone does not have a right to an opinion. And if I have an opportunity to say, even with a click of a button that I do not agree with the information given, for whatever reason, I will do so.
I do not think it is being touchy or critical, or anything else other than what it is, an opportunity to voice an opinion on something. I also look at it from the view point of someone that knows nothing about homeschooling that comes in and peruses the archives. What type of impact would it have on someone that wanted to learn about homeschooling and they saw all these answers that say "your kids will be weird, all homeschoolers are stupid, sheltered social rejects" without any commentary on them? People have a tendency to usually believe the more ridiculous of two sets of information, so if the ridiculous answers are on the same footing as the informed answers, then how will a person judge what's accurate and what's not?
does that make sense to you?

Answer 2

I have homeschooled my children for six years. As with anything, there are advantages and disadvantages to this form of education. However, I have found that for my children, this is the best way to raise them.

To me, there are three things that are most aggravating when someone feels the need to tell me why homeschooling is bad. First, in my experience, they usually have never homeschooled nor have they done any research to back up their statements. I am more than happy to listen to a difference of opinion as long as the person shows that they can substantiate it. I have always taught my children that if they have a controversial opinion to be sure that they have the knowledge to support it.

Next, most of the time these people do not know my children and our circumstances. Yet these same people are so willing to decide that what I am doing is not best for my family. They are criticizing my choice without knowing the situation. When I talk about homeschooling to non-homeschoolers, I always qualify it by saying that this is why it is right for us but may not be right for others.

"I have never met a homeschooler that is socially "normal." Take out the word "homeschooler" and put in any other group--black, gay, Mexican, woman, Christian, atheist--and see if that doesn't make the hair on the back of your neck stand up ! This statement is made without any qualifiers. Even though it may have been this person's experience, what they are insinuating is downright insulting. If I perceive a comment to be rude, whether I agree or disagree, I would give it a negative click.

Answer 3

Have you checked out other areas of Yahoo Answers? Controversial areas get the same type of ratings. If you're in the vegetarian section and people are slamming vegetarianism, lots of thumbs downs. There are other areas where it's the same.

I personally don't put a thumbs down unless the person is being obviously ignorant, rude or judgemental. I don't know if I put a thumbs down for the example you provided, but it's still ignorant (not to mention judgemental) to say, "Every homeschooler I've met was weird". Ignorant because they're assuming they knew the educational background of every person they've spent time with, a common attitude that really needs to be gotten rid of. Judgemental because they are labelling the person as abnormal in some way.

If you look carefully at the negative answers, the thumbs down aren't always the same--that is, every negative answer doesn't come with the same number of thumbs downs as all the others for that question. Some only have a couple; others have a ton. Guess which ones came across as the more judgemental? And if you'll also notice, it's not like homeschoolers are going around giving a ton of thumbs up to all pro-homeschooling answers. Giving a thumbs down is a message to the person who wrote it, and to the person who asked the question, about the attitude/ignorance/judgement behind the message. Or in the case of one person who has responded to your question, the answer is a tirade of sorts that has absolutely nothing to do with answering the question!!

I think it's a mistake to think that the thumbs down mean that "people aren't allowed to say negative things". The thumbs down are signs of disapproval of what's said, not an attempt to stop people.

btw, when the messages disappear from your view, it's because of your own settings! You can choose to show all answers or only those with certain ratings. There's a default, though.

ADDED: Uh, did gbvos actually answer your question? Not at all. Answers that don't actually answer questions often get thumbs down.

Answer 4

Some people view homeschooling as negative because the homeschool parent does not have a teaching degree. The parent who decides to homeschool is doing something very loving for her children. Also, many homeschool parents are affiliated with their church, and this could also disturb those who are not so inclined. As for the social aspect of homeschooling, I used to think my grandchildren (all of whom have been homeschooled) were being isolated from other children. Nothing could be further from the truth. They have been in involved in scouting, wrestling, sports of all kinds, arts and crafts, field trips, dancing, piano playing, homemaking skills, 4H activities, photography, fishing, animal lore, gardening -- all of which have been group activities. They are three well-socialized and extremely intelligent teenagers, having achieved scholarships and awards. So you can forever banish the myth that homeschooled kids are somehow deprived. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, first-hand, I wouldn't have believed how well mine have turned out. My daughter has done an amazing job with these kids, and I am so proud of them all. The oldest boys are making movie videos, and plan to go into the entertainment field, and the girl is writing a novel, and is an accomplished pianist.

Answer 5

Home schooling parents are just tired of being told they are weird and socially unaccapetable. everytime we get asked the "s" question we also have to wonder if this person is going to pull out their cell phone and call CPS because we're at Wal-mart and not "doing school" They don't realize that schooling takes about 2hrs for the core subjects and then you can plan the rest of the day to read history and act it out or make a science project for the science fair--yes, my kids do participate in these things. Some times I'm at wal-mart picking up supplies so that we can do these projects.

People today have forgotten that the founding fathers of our country were schooled at home at some point. Famous Writers like Louisa May Alcott were homeschooled, (by her father, no less) and the list goes on. Until the 2nd world war homeschooling was a very ligitimate and viable option, even for those who lived in the city. (the child labor laws had a play in mandatory schooling also) My grandparents didn't make it past an 8th grade level in school they had to drop out and help support the family, were they dumb people? no, the were very smart and continued to school themselves at home.

The people who pepper us with questions out of ignorance have not stepped outside the 8-3 school box and just can't fathom how we can handle teaching our own children. Most of us have college educations the only major difference is that we didn't take the teacher certification course. If a teacher has a college degree and can teach, sometimes while preparing for the state test even, then why can't a parent teach their child? The kids are sent home with homework and guess who ends up teaching the child in the evening? I don't remember the teacher ever being at my house when I was in school. ;)

Answer 6

I give a thumbs down if someone is being rude or obnoxious! Yes, people are entitled to their opinions but that doesn't mean that everyone is going to agree with it. I think you are overreacting a little.....go to other sections and you will see the same thing.

To the grandparent.......you do realize that children are all different. I have one child that you would call "socially withdrawn" and another you would say is "socially acceptable." Some children are just not as outgoing...and choose to stay in their rooms as you say your children do. The key is children interacting with other children and if they have brothers and sisters then they are interacting. They are learning to negotiate, argue their points, and basically just how to be around other children. I'm sure their parents take them to the store for groceries and such.......well, that is interaction. It is a common misconception that homeschooling children are only kept in their homes like hermits. Also, I've lived in Indianapolis and if their parents choose to keep a very close eye on them then that is good parenting...not the best place to raise children!!!

Ok, sorry I got a little carried away!!! Basically opinions are just that opinions and one of the joys of living in this country is that we can voice our opinions and disagree with other's opinions!

Answer 7

I don't homeschool my children, but I think I can understand partly why homeschooling parents can be defensive.

First, homeschooling is not mainstream, so there's already a perceived bias against them. Parents who choose to homeschool can be considered (or assume they are considered) to be quirky or extremist, if not downright fanatical. They may also have doubts about whether what they are doing is the best thing for their kids, so they become hypersensitive if anyone pokes at their hidden demon of insecurity.

Also, homeschooling parents have so much personally invested in their pursuits. Most of the time, they've sacrificed a lot to make their goal a reality, so if anyone criticizes homeschooling, they are in effect criticizing the parent's entire lifestyle. That would feel like a very personal attack, when there is so little distinction between one's "job" and one's existence.

I admire parents who homeschool their children. It takes an awful lot of planning and dedication to do it right. But I have also noticed a defensiveness and sometimes also a self-righteousness among homeschoolers that I can't empathise with.

And just for the record, all the homeschooled kids I've known have been extremely well mannered and well socialized, though the education itself seems spotty with some. But, hey, education is very spotty among non-homeschooled kids too.

Blessings! <><

Answer 8

I thought I might share with you why I give the thumbs down to some people who are against homeschooling. It is when they make statements such as "homeschooling is not a good idea", or "all homeschooled girls are dorks", or "homeschoolers never get the chance to socialize", or "they'll never get into a good college". I don't give a thumbs down to people who say "In my opinion..." or "the homeschool girls I know don't fit in..."
I also don't give a thumbs down to people who present facts as facts. I give thumbs down to those who give opinion as fact, or who give generalizations about all homeschoolers when they have probably only met a few.
I try not to generalize about public school kids; I have met some who are wonderful, and some who seem to need professional counseling. I have met some who are social, and others who are loners.
I have met some homeschool kids who are outgoing and social, and some who are shy.
I don't try to tell people that homeschooling is right for everyone, so I don't think its right for someone to say that all kids should go to public school.
There are statistics that show that homeschoolers do better in certain areas, but that doesn't mean that EVERY homeschooler does, nor does it mean that EVERY public school child will do poorly.
I think it’s the generalizations I don't like, one way or the other.
If someone has only met one homeschool family, and they generalize about homeschoolers based on that one family, it is just as wrong as judging a race based on one family.
I also think that people would do well to define "normal" before saying that homeschoolers are not. Is it "normal" to be peer dependant? Is it "normal" to like the latest fads? Is it "normal" to rebel against parents, or to dress a certain way? Maybe all of these things ARE normal, but does that make someone who doesn't do these things "abnormal"?
There are many cultures, many beliefs, and many personalities in this world... I don't think anyone has the right to determine what "normal" should be for someone else's family.
Aside from all of this, when you spend all your time defending what you do to relatives, friends, and even total strangers who challenge your decision, I think it leaves you feeling defensive and touchy.
Plus, thumbs up or thumbs down, isn't that just expressing an opinion too?
An additional note to gbovs: take time to educate youreself about the benefits of homeschooling by reading some homeschooling magazines and books. Even if you still feel there are drawbacks, perhaps you will at least have a more balanced few of it. Like anything in life, it has an upside and a downside. I personally feel that the benefits outweigh the few drawbacks... if I didn't, I wouldn't homeschool. Most people don't make this decision lightly, they consider carefully before deciding. They do it because they believe it is in the best interest of their children, if it seems they are unwilling to reconsider it is probably because they allready have, many times, and concluded they are doing what is right for them.

Answer 9

I give negative clicks when the answers are prejudiced, without reason and uneducated.
I would not dare go to a Yahoo!Answer section of public school and say that all public school kids are hoodlums. I would expect a thumb downs if I did so. If a person comes here and says that all home school kids are weird, have no social life and are uneducated because their parents are not qualified, then I would think a thumbs down would be appropriate.
Would we answer a question with all men are bums, all women have low morals, and all dogs are infested with fleas?
Think about it.

Answer 10

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