Personally, i think it's pure nonsense. How will you find something if you don't put any effort in it? And besides, i tried this approach (no dating at all, not putting any effort to find a lover) for almost two years now and it didn't bring me anywhere, i'm still single. I'm not saying you should start searching like you're desperate, but not making any effort at all will not bring you anywhere.
2007-07-01 09:14:04 · 23 answers · asked by possessed Regan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, I believe in it to a certain extent. It kind of depends on (1) what is the reason you are not having success, and (2) what it is you do when you 'stop searching.'
(1) Often when folks complain that they can't find love, it is often that they are (or are acting) too needy when they find somebody potentially interesting. It is a major turn-off for most people (men/women) to have somebody being all over them right away about long-term commitment, since it takes time to get to know somebody. However, if there are other reasons you can't find love (too unattractive or neurotic/psychotic personality) this might not apply.
(2) If you just sit at home with dog/cat/TV when you are 'not looking' for love, you will have no success. The idea here is that you will be involved in stuff that you are truly interested in (salsa dancing, ski-diving, snorkeling, book club, cooking classes), and when you are focused on what you like in a friendly environment, your true self will be more apparent, and people will like you for what you are. The whole dating scene is somewhat contrived with only one thing on everybody's mind. Instead, just go out and have fun with other people, and the chances that 'love' will find you is greatly increased.
2007-07-06 05:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever seen a rose shifting and moving around in a flower garden trying to get noticed by anyone? never, right? that's crazy- it just blossom's and grows, taking in the sun and rain doing what it does, then Bam! one day it gets plucked and put into a bouquet and well, with all that said- the analogy that i am making here is that- the effort you put into this whole love thing is doing you; going where you need to go, living life, looking decent, being approachable, and kind- at the end of the day that's what most decent guys will remember about you anyways- that is what you do: look good, do good, and be kind- and it will become apart of your style, and before you know it Bam! you'll be someones centerpiece! be easy!
c.c
2007-07-01 16:31:00 · answer #2 · answered by cupcake8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay i've heard this saying plenty of times, and i understand what you are saying.
so i think if you are actively and desparately pursuing somebody, you probably won't find anybody because you're just too desperate to find "the one", not the person you get along with. so basically if you are searching so badly, you could just settle for anybody.
however, you do need to make effort. i think the key here is being more receptive. you have to put yourself out there, you can't just stay in all the time and expect your prince charming to knock at your door. still be involved, still get out there...but don't chase so hard. however when the right person decides to pursue you, you just have to be very friendly, open and receptive to his advances.
2007-07-01 16:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by girlygirl8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do. Sometimes things happen when you are least expecting them because you are not focused on that one thing. If you are the type of person who goes to a club in the hopes of meeting that special someone and you don't , you have set your expectations too high and therefore, will be disappointed when Mr. Right doesn't show up. I don't mean to sluff off completely any effort. That would mean never leaving the house. I think it just means to stop setting your expectations so high, then you will meet someone. Or not.
2007-07-01 16:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by kikio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No because so far I stopped looking a couple of times maybe even as long as a couple of months at a time and love never found me. I also agree with you on the fact that if you don't look for love then you could spend the rest of your life alone or worse maybe you might never of found the person your where really meant for or maybe they would never have met you because you where busy waiting for them to find you.
I mean I haven't been looking for to long maybe since high school and I have so far realized woman well alot of them anyways dont even no what they want in a man I meen other than for him to be attractive,rich, etc..
2007-07-09 13:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do believe that you will find love when you stop searching but i dont think that means you should quit dating...dating is not always to find your perfect soul mate but instead can be to find out what you like or dislike in a person and also find out about yourself...the more you date the more you become comfortable with being you and thats always very attractive...my advice to you is to still date but just keep an open mind about everything...maybe you will find your perfect person on a date or maybe some place else but you will never know until you try...best of luck
2007-07-01 16:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that after my divorce, I had no desire to ever marry again. I remained happily single for seven years, dating, but never looking for a husband, even though being a single mom was tough and I had to work three jobs simultaneously. I was perfectly content to be independent. Then, literally, my husband walked into my place of business, and that was it. I knew within two weeks that I would marry him someday. We married eight months later. We are very happy.. Neither of us was looking for the other, but here we are.
2007-07-01 16:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe in that saying. I have the perfect example for you...I was deployed to I raq for a year and 3 months. While I was over there I met the love of my life and I wasn't even looking for a man...I was looking for a way to stay alive. So if it is meant to be, just let it happen.
2007-07-09 14:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by nevaeh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I believe it says is that if you try to fall in love with every person you go out, then you wont experience real love, and run the risk of not being corresponded. I think it means that you have to let the course of things run naturally, without pushing the feeling.
2007-07-09 15:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do. When I was in my second year of college and beginning summer vacation, I decided that I was tired of looking for Mr. right and that summer I was going to just have fun, do some excited things and make friends. Two weeks later I met my soul mate and five months later I was married. It just all came so naturally when I quit trying the force it.
2007-07-01 16:34:37 · answer #10 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋