Chapter One
My sister Emily and I anticipated summer vacation for a long time. Now it was finally here. Now this was part of our regular routine, and everything was boring.
The afternoon sun was especially hot today, making me feel as if I were living in a dry desert rather than Baton Rouge. The soft hiss of sprinklers in the neighbor’s yard made me wish I could go swimming. The community pool was over two miles away and I was sure it would be packed. I didn’t feel like walking to the Dairy Queen and our fridge had been with out ice cream for days.
Not even the animals could escape the heat. Not one bird took flight that day. Instead they chose to rest in the shade of the neighbor’s oak trees which our yard had been deprived of.
The only disturbance in the air was the occasional breeze that drifted through the open window. Our air conditioner was broken, leaving the air in the house as humid and stuffy as outside.
2007-07-01 08:41:39 · 5 answers · asked by sygirl1221 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Never judge a book by it's cover or from it's first chapter!!!
2007-07-01 09:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has great potential. With a minimum of editing, it could flow very well. I'm assuming this is just the first page, not the first chapter, because it'd be quite a short chapter and certainly has no action in it yet. Hopefully you will be breaking out of the "passive voice" soon.
Good luck.
And by the way, proper usage in your headline on here is "My friend and I" not "me and my friend."
2007-07-01 15:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Jess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW it's very detailed and good! Did you write this? Now I feel like I'M burning up on a hot day! lmao it was good.....
2007-07-01 15:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love all the detail. I think its good.
xoxo
&& same question as the first person...
2007-07-01 15:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by ellenrose219 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this in jokes
2007-07-01 15:46:14 · answer #5 · answered by Sara Dawson 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋