I dont want to punish my son..which I think that's what I'd be doing ,but he wont pay me any money and gives me all the excuse in the world..also he's been living with this women who has 2 kids and I believe he's taking care of them
2007-07-01 07:32:30 · 19 answers · asked by Stacy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ok as mad as it makes you never givwe yoru son a reason to blame you..i think if your son wants a relationship you should allow it, unless he is abusing him..your son is eating , breathing , living without his money now, so i would allow it for my son
2007-07-01 07:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe parent's should start putting their children first and
foremost. Seperation and Divorce is hard but it's even harder
on a child. Children love both of their parents and shouldn't
ever be denied visitation. As for the child support matter I believe each parent should pay an equal amount into a trust
fund for the child or children. Most parents ask for the support
out of anger, hurt, bitterness and to get even. What example
is a person teaching their children by sending their mother or
father to jail for not paying money that is usually not spent on
them anyway. Forcing someone to pay is not the way to go,
instead try to find a compromise, as do what you can when you can. And to let you know my husband and I seperated for
9 1/2 years him having our son for 5 years and me the 4 1/2,
both helping each other when we could and showing our son
that he was the most important person to us both.
2007-07-01 16:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by lilbitsfantasy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get the child support issue settled by or enforced by the courts. Don't take your ex's excuses. It is not your problem that he may be trying to support another woman's children. Keep emotions out of it. Be calm but very persistant.
In the meantime, do not punish your son by keeping him from his father. This trauma will damage both the relationship he has with his father and the relationship your son has with you. If you keep them apart, your son will see you as a bitter, vindictive woman. Instead, show him that you understand how important it is to both your son and you that he spend time with his father and that he have a healthy relationship with his father. If, despite that fact that the court orders child support payment, your ex refuses to pay, your son will see that his father is not a man of his word and does not care to financially support him.
Love your son enough to not demean and belittle his father. Show him that you have compassion and generosity in his heart and your son will grow to have that same generous spirit.
2007-07-01 14:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son should see his father, this is NOT part of his business. YOU should see Family court immediately...this guy is a free loader and a cheapskate. Take him back to family court...if he does not pay then, he is in contempt of court and will be arrested if you swear out a complaint. The states do NOT like to support children when there is a working father around...they will go after him big time, through his job, and that is what I would ask for...garnishing his wages for the amount of the child support. Good luck
2007-07-01 14:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should still let your son see his father even though he is not paying you child support you are not suppose to bring the child in the middle of anything that issue needs to be solved between you and the dad....So no you should never put the child in the middle of anything you are not punishing the dad but you are also punishing the kid to if you don't let him see his father....And take him back to chils support court if you have to...
2007-07-01 15:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by Flawless 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to court to get court ordered child support. They will make him pay it or he will be put in jail for non payment. Do you get the feeling that your husband will skip town with your son if you send him there? If you feel this way then don't let your son go. If you don't feel they will skip town then also go to court for visitation schedule. That way if he chooses to leave with the child you will be protected by a court order. if nothing is in place then you won't have much of a leg to stand on if he takes him away. Get all your cards in order before you send your son to visit, that way you and your son are both protected. Can you get by without his support? if you can then don't have anything more to do with him. Let him have his new family, and let your son know how loved he is with you. Good Luck
2007-07-01 14:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most states, non-payment of child support is not reason enough to stop visitation. I do recommend that you let the father know that you do not appreciate the behavior and that you will not enable him to see him by providing any transportation. I was going through the same situation with my ex and I finally sent one bag of clothing to him and told him that he was to keep that clothing but when the children grew out of them it was his responsibility to provide more. I stopped providing transportation and started looking into Felony Child support. Most states have a Felony Child Support Division. I would recommend contacting them. Good luck!
2007-07-01 15:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by C H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The emotional side of this had been addressed repeatedly here, but what you need to know is... You must make your son available to his father for visitation as stated in the legal agreement. Visitation is his legal right and it is not conditional on payment of support. You have legal recourse regarding the non-support. Contact the attorney general's office. It's free. You could suffer legal recourse if you interfere with his legal visitation rights.
2007-07-01 15:21:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jellen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont let your son see him, someday in the future your son may turn his back on you for denying him that right. Everything isnt about money. Yes he owes it to you and he should pay but its not an excuse to deny your son his human rights.
If you want the money that bad go thru the courts, they can make him pay.
2007-07-01 14:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ask your self this! when you were child what would you think of your mom if she kept you from seeing your dad because of money? He may or may not be able to afford to pay right now. Are you using your child as a way to hurt him because he may have hurt you? Is it fair to your child to be deprived of seeing her father? All situations are different. Keep your childs best interest at heart. Good Luck!
2007-07-01 14:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by wildcard2u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he won't take care of his own kid, I doubt he is taking care of hers.Get in touch with D.S.S. and tell them you need the child support get his address and give it to them and the courts and if they drag their feet doing anything, after 3 weeks, call the local news media.Nothing gets a D.S.S. worker or a court official moving like a news camera up their butt.
2007-07-01 15:11:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋