Hi, I am a 25 year old male who suffers with anxiety and depression. My main goal in life is to sort out all the problems I have and get my life back on track.
Because I have been let down a lot in the past I had to deal with so many problems I do not know where to begin. When I was at school I was bullied and occasionally beaten. However, as many people in my position would have told somebody about what was going on I did not. I thought I could deal with the problems myself, however, I could not and it is a regret I still live with today. The bullying did not stop after school, it continued to go on through college, even my first job.
When I left my first job and started at my second job, the bullying stopped. However, I became so insecure by then I suffered with paranoia and panic attacks because I constantly worried about what people thought about me. After that job ended I just did not have the courage to find another one so I shut myself off from the world. I got depressed, moody and just ate and ate. I also would not talk to anyone at that time, even my own family.
After nearly a year of not doing anything with my life I realized I needed help, I do not know how I managed it but I went to see the doctors and told him about my problems. He then referred me to the mental health clinic, however, they felt I was not that bad and they referred me to I.V.S. the Independent Visitors Scheme and they paired me up with a volunteer once a fought night just to get me out of the house. When I first started going out I really found it difficult being around public crowded places and my panic attacks got worse. A while after that I decided to do a computer course.
Although I feel I have a long way to go I manage to work two part time volunteer jobs, as I am on incapacity benefits. And I am looking forward to one day having a full time paid job. Right now though I am just taking one day at a time.
I have also decided to go and see a counsellor and have just recently started seeing them for one on one sessions and then group therapy with people who have been in the similar position as me.
It has also affected my love life, in fact I do not even have a love life thanks to my anxiety and depression. I often wonder if I ever will. It has also affected my sex drive as I am still a virgin and have never been interested in sex. I know you will say that is because of the medication I am on, but the fact is I am not on any medication. The doctor felt I did not need it. Will my sex drive come back? Will I be able to have a love life as I am not interested in sex and suffer from anxiety and depression?
2007-07-01 06:46:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Surround yourself with positive people who are supportive and not patronising. Keep doing your computer course and when you have achieved that, learn something else. Motivate challenge yourself, set goals that keep you reaching onwards and upwards. Accept that there will be 'bad days' and prepare yourself mentally by having positive-affirming mantra like 'This too will end' or 'I'll get through this' & learn to believe in this. We can blame others only so much for the way they treat us but being kinder to yourself is a decision that only YOU have control over. Of course it's not easy but through application & practise you will build up the 'inner' strength.
take care of the big things, the little things fall into place. The most intimate relationship you will ever have in your life is with yourself & if you don't have that solid cornerstone, any subsequent relationship will be based on a rocky foundation. Don't get into a relationship to make you happy or to take refuge in, it'll just end up in some sort of dependancy & cripple your progress. You have the courage to do these things, you've shown it by talking about your issues and getting some sort of help and that takes a lot of balls.
Good luck.
It WILL be alright.
:-)
2007-07-01 08:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by Snake Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm 24 and also suffer from depression, my moods change suddenly from feeling relatively content to suddenly feeling very low and insecure and that alarms me. You can certainly find love, however unless you learn to love yourself you can't expect anyone else to either, its frustrating and I often feel in a rut, but I also feel better once I see that I'm not alone and many other people suffer from the same insecurities and paranoia I had a hard time of it at school and had problems with family members, its a long story which I won't bore you with but I thought naively that once I left school and was older I'd be able to move on with my life, but I was so wrong, I've never had a boyfriend myself, as you get older you feel an enormous pressure to have one (or have had one), on the bright side at least it shows we are unique and think about things carefully before rushing into a relationship, there are websites that give advice on depression where you can talk to like minded individuals but remember when you are feeling at your lowest that you will get through it (it might not seem like it at the time but you will, and that other people are going through the same pain. I' not so brave as you, you have already made a major step taking to a counsellor and talking in group session, it won't be easy but you seem determined to beat it and you will, Good Luck!
2007-07-01 07:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by Rainbowz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you've had a tough life. I can sympathise, I also went through bullying at school and it absolutely destroys any self esteem you might have. Schools then didn't have any power to do anything about it, they still don't really now. You do have to put it behind you though. Hopefully with all the therapy and counselling you've had, you have begun to do this.
Don't worry about your sex drive, it will come back when you meet the right person. You are only 25 and you have years ahead of you yet. It will happen, probably when you least expect it. They always say love comes along when you're not looking for it.
Good luck.
2007-07-01 06:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by kpk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, there is someone for everyone, sometimes it just takes patients and more time than others.
As for your sex drive, you might want talk to your doctor about that as well. I know it's embarrassing but it's important that the doctors are aware and they can actually subscribe medicine for that as well.
Also, you need to learn to talk to women. If you never put yourself out there than you limited your chances of meeting someone.
You might try local places, like church and maybe if look at around to meet people at the places you volunteer at. You can also try online and you can kind of read about people and put a description of yourself. You might never know there could be women out there going through the same thing as you and you might find a match made in heaven.
Hang in there, the first steps is wanting to make a change. So I think your already on the right path which is fantastic!!
Hang in their brother, where their is a will there's a way!
2007-07-01 06:55:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ozzie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All your body is doing is reacting to the situations that it is not famailiar with. When your on the right track it seems you have more attacks and this is true because your body has been "programmed" to deal with things a certain way. Almost like trained. When you're bullied or lower you probably feel OK.. when your doing something on your own, It's different and weird and your body recognizes that and puts you into panic mode.. It takes time but once you do a little something different every day you'll be fine. also there's more to life than sleeping and eating.. Good Luck!
2007-07-01 06:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by amylr620 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've been worse off then you and i am fine now, i did it all myself ,no doctors no medication, i didn't even know there was help for anxiety and depression or that it was something anyone else had so as I'm sure you can imagine it was quite a tough go. trust me when i tell you that what you need to do is just force yourself to just do things, ignore your fears because they are the only thing that is actually hurting you. if you just force yourself it may be very traumatic at first but it is the quickest way to a normal life, sorta like pullin a band-aid off, if you take it slow it just makes it worse and you might even find yourself walkin around with a band-aid flappin around half off half on because you lost your nerve in the middle. just throw yourself into life. think of it this way, is your life worth living this way? probably not, you have NOTHING to lose by just going full force , that old saying "the thing to fear is fear itself" is so true in your situation. as far as sex drive, i did not have that problem but it is certainly understandable, i think hats something you should not concern yourself with it will come along when you are not so depresses and anxious. in time of stress my sex drive always takes a dive, that's normal, to worry about it will only serve to exaberate the problem, to worry about sex drive i think may be one of the leading causes of impotence other then diabetes. hang in there man and please don't wast anymore time deliberating on what to do and what your future might hold for you, just get up, walk out the door right now and begin living your life, there's so much to enjoy don't miss out.
2007-07-01 07:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by None 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
LOL...Sounds like me in many ways! I have lived with anxiety and depression since my teens and through my adulthood. I have developed many minor OCDs but am still able to "function" the best I can in the world @ large. I have adapted to work the night shift, do any type of shopping in the middle of the night or as early as possible in the mornings and as for a love life-it takes one step at a time and someone special to deal with or "put up with" our idiosyncracies.
2007-07-01 07:05:27 · answer #7 · answered by bijou088 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can have a love life just get your self better first and as far as not being interested in sex that may change after you get better and stay better. Give it time. Good Luck!!
2007-07-01 06:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about what other people think, you should just be yourself, and so what if they say something it probably means that they are jealous or wish they had a better life than you but dont know you.. forget the other people, focus on urself, im sure ur a nice guy, let people know how nice u are and things that u have to offer, hey you just might get rich and married.. be better than the enemy
2007-07-01 06:51:16 · answer #9 · answered by starconfusionco1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suffer from both of them too and don't worry, you can fall in love. Just be careful that you don't lean on the person too much, I'm always worrying I do that to my boyfriend. But there are more to relationships than sex, you just need to find someone who understands. Annyone who doesn't is clearly not worth it anyways.
Hope you find someone like I did.
2007-07-01 07:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋