What i mean is she likes to be the one to give my husband all info on thier son(report cards/sports info/school cancelations ect)If my husband trys to get it she gets "pissed" and tells him I allways make sure you get the info.Even when she knows he got the info she still has to call/email/text to tell him too.And god forbid if i ever try and get the report card or something for my husband she goes insane.Why is this? you would think she would be happy if my husband or me gets the info ourselfs thats one less thing she has to do.Another thing if i try and tell her something i thing she may not know about thier son(like a time for his baseball game)she snaps at me and says "I allready know that"My husband left her over 5 yrs ago(not for me)and they share joint custody
2007-07-01 06:42:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
She is probably a control freak and she's seething over your involvement. There isn't much you can do about it. That's just the way she is. You probably shouldn't tell her anything, and if she tells YOU something, act like you're learning it for the first time. You're stuck with her legally, and you'll just have to live with that. She's going to be angry no matter what. What do you suppose she would have to say about your husband? About you? Just suppose.
2007-07-01 06:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that it isn't right, what she is doing. She is a real control freak. Just keep doing what you are doing and dont let her bully you. Dont let her see that she managed to rock your boat. Eventually ,hopefully she will come around. She will see and learn to accept what is. She may never lighten up who knows. I have a sister in law that is controling and freakish no step parents involved she is just a controll freak. Some people are just that way andwe have learned to be non reactive to her, since we have done this with her she has lightened up quite a bit. It has been a few years that this mediceine finnaly took efect. Just stick to your guns and don't let her control and walk all over you. Hold your head up high and strong and good luck to you I know it isn't fair to your family or to you. If things really get bad maybe you need to have your husband have a little talk with her doesnt help maybe all three of you need to go to some sort of fammily marriage relationship counsling and nip it before it spins out of controll begins to effectt the 8yr old son if it hasn't already.
I have a girlfriend that had a big wedding and did not have either parent or there new spouse their because all four of them acted like children placing her in the parent position. So you do not want this to go to crazy out of control. Good for you for reconizing early waring signs of a potential storm up a head.
2007-07-04 20:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Kari K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI I can tell you she is jelous and that is the only thing she has left to controll. (or so she feels) Since she was not what her husband wanted she has some resentment, compounded with, now "her" son has a new mom and he just might like or even love you and that is a threat to her. So I believe that because she is so insecure all she has left is her "informing"
So next time (espically if you are informed first) let her know you know what she is doing and it is not working. Truth hurts sometimes but it usually makes us better. If you are shy and dont want any kind of confrontation I would suggest saying something to the effect like " We know she has some info so let her tell us all about it" In the nicest way possible..
Just think about it (true story) I opened a door for a older couple and when they did not say thanks and went through the door I said " OHHH your welcome" and the couple turned around to my disbelief they said almost at the same time "How Rude" Yet I had opened the door for them ?????
So some poeple will disagree with what I said but really is what she doing any good for any one??? Let alone in my most honset opinion Let your husband tell her as he should for your sake when he knows it will end up being a big thing if not fixed asap or at least letting her know you know she is doing it she will feel as silly as she is being !!!!!!
2007-07-01 07:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's definitely a control freak. She also seems to be very much "in competition" for who's the better parent, so she can tell herself and everybody how "on top of things" she is and could even say that her ex-husband isn't so involved with his son because he never gets info directly - and of course won't mention that this is because she doen't ALLOW info to be taken directly.
Also, maybe she doesn't have a love interest in her life and is focusing heavily on her son as a result.
Is this an issue you could take to court in order to make things easier for everyone involved? - I mean, your husband should be ALLOWED to be more involved in his son's life. Many times, we hear the opposite where fathers don't care to be involved. A father's relationship with his children should definitely be supported, it's good if they have a positive male role model in their life, especially a son.
2007-07-01 07:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by HappyStarz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she can't over the fact that they (her and your husband and son) aren't a family anymore and she tries to act like they are still a family but can't because you're "in the way"
OR
maybe she's just a mother who is overprotective or jealous of you because she may think you are trying to be the mother since it she and your husband have joint custody...
2007-07-01 18:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by Elle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what your talking about,iv been with my boyfriend for 3yrs and his ex is the same way,shes totally phsyco,never did i ever see or knowen someone so hateful and use there child to do so to tell u the truth i just let it roll off my shoulders and have more respect for the child and sit back and let her look like the donkey,because like i told my boyfriend itll benifit him in the end cuz the child will come to no her ways.
2007-07-01 11:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her son is probably the most important person in her life. Losing the family that SHE once had was hell for her, I'm sure. Seeing her son with another woman figure isn't the best feeling for your hubby's ex either. She is probably afraid that he will wind up liking you more, or become close to you and I bet she doesn't want that. My mom didn't want me to be close to MY step-mom and gave my dad (her ex hubby) a REAL hard time with us kids. My mom and dad divorced when I was TWO. It's been about 20 years and she is STILL bitter.
2007-07-01 06:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by mommy of an angel 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
this is his ex-wife's way of maintining some sort of control over his life and she gets mad when he tries to accert himself in his child's education.
Real parents, have a joint interest in their child's education. Next time she gets mad over something this silly, he should tell her, "Hey look, he's MY son too and if I want to know how he's doing in school, I should know with or without your consent!"
DO yourself a favour stay out of any discussion between the two. She'll just lash out at you and...trust me it won't be pretty.
good luck!
2007-07-01 06:53:55 · answer #8 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
she needs to get a life. she is trying to be controlling and you guys should not let her. she needs to find someone and the be controlling to them. Your husband needs to stand up to her and tell her that he is the parent to and he has rights, and that you are his wife and you are just as much a part of his life as they are. You stand up to her, don't let her push you around. If you ever need to talk email me. I hope that it all works out for you and your husband.
2007-07-01 08:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by piperandfrog 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie, you're right about one thing; she shouldn't rule the school information; the father of this child should have an equal say in this child's education. As for you, this is not your child. Not to offend you, but it's none of your business, so you should just stay out of it.
2007-07-01 06:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Ida T 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋