My daughter is 18 , unwed & pregnant. I want to give her a baby shower. Is it ok to hold it in our church?

Question

My daughter is 18 and pregnant. She just finished high school, works a full time job and is enrolled in college in the fall. I would like to give her a baby shower but unsure if it would be appropriate to hold it in our church hall like I had planned. I didn't think much about it until I was told by several of my husband's family members that it would be wrong (because shes not married) and they would not attend. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

Do it!
There is nothing wrong, my mother had a baby
shower in a church, it doesn't matter if she is
not married, because in the name of lord
Jesus Christ, God was not married to
Mary and the Church respects all
in the name of the lord himself.
If it is nice for the baby, then
they don't care. I don't
know which country
you are in or not
or if it is illegal.
Congratulations Grandma and Regards!

Answer 2

Maybe you can find a place to hold it. If it's summer maybe plan an outdoor baby shower in your back yard or maybe a pretty flower garden. I know here where I live for $25 one can rent the meeting room in this one building. Have it at your come. I know some churches are real strict on not married and pregnant. Seen it happen, a guy I went to school with and went to church with got his girlfriend pregnant and were unmarried and it was the talk of the church and was looked down on. Can't change people either.

Answer 3

You know what? This pisses me off. Do not be ashamed of your daughter or even question having it someplace else. Your husband's side of the family is way backwards (but, duh, you already knew that!) :)

So what? Your daughter is pregnant at 18. It is not ideal, and, sure, people might say things about her, but she is religious and she is having a baby and deserves to have it where ever she would like. Any protesters, push to the backburner of your mind and turn the heat up to boiling. Forget them. This is your daughters first baby and God loves the child just as much as He loves every other baby in the world.

Don't be tossed around by uptight, pretentious people. Love your daughter and, most importantly, by doing this at the church it will show your daughter that she is still a child of God and that she is welcome at church and in the arms of God.

God bless and good luck!

Answer 4

I say still hold it at a church but I do understand your concern. If the church is okay with it I don't see why not, if they didn't want you to have it there then should tell you. And if the people threatening not to attend are important to you and your daughter then the church might not be the best place to hold it. But there are many other places than this church you want to have it at. Maybe you should talk to your daughter about it. See what she feel comfortable with. Maybe she'll feel weird at a church or maybe she dreams of having it at a church. She would be the best person to ask this question to.

Answer 5

Well you may be going to the wrong church. I don't want to get on soap box here, but dang what's up with the church members! Pro life advocates voice an opinion that an all conceptions are to be saved. Your daughter in my opinion had a right to choose. She chose to see her pregnancy through. If your church is not supportive, I would consider a different congregation. A church of members passing judgment , happening more often than not would not be my choice. I wish your daughter the best.

Answer 6

Regardless of whether you or anyone here agrees with the church, you should speak with the Pastor or minister and abide by that.
I agree to a point with Deborah that at least your daughter made the decision to choose life, and IMHO a baby is a wonderful blessing, but there are a lot of people who won't take it a step further and say she should be rewarded for her indiscretion, even though it's all for the baby, but you know what I mean.
DON'T let your in-laws dictate what you should do unless they're willing to spring for the entire affair.
There are lots of restaurants desperate for your business who can even offer you special menus for the occasion. Perhaps you would consider calling around and asking--it wouldn't cost you a dime to check around. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Answer 7

I would say given the circumstances, no. Then I would ask why is that so important to you? Is it a need on YOUR part to feel the churches approval? All babies are special and blessed, and you don't need church to tell you that. And if you already know it is going to alienate other familiy members, why would you choose to do so?

This is a time of joy and not for conflict. Start this mother and her child out with a welcome from ALL her family. They are in for a long road and needs all the support they can get.

Find a lovely party hall, home or I like the idea of a park. Celebrate and welcome this new child!

Answer 8

First, talk to your pastor.
Second, I think- you probably shouldn't. Invite everyone- sure! just have it somewhere else. Having it in the church gives the appearance that what she did- premarital sex- is ok and acceptable. It looks like the church and pastor think it is perfectly fine- though they may not. We've had this problem in our church before.
We did not judge this girl, we did forgive her (meaning we did not hold her sin against her) but we did not want those attending especially young girls who look up to her to think- "Hey, it's ok. She did it and look how happy she is and nobody's mad at her and - they even are throwing a party for her here at church!"

Just let it go and have it somewhere else.

Answer 9

Give her a shower ... because she is going to need your love and support.

However, it would not be a good idea to hold a baby shower in most church halls under these circumstances.

Also beware that some of your extended family members may not just be limiting their disaproval to it being at a church hall.... they are just using that as their vechical to voice how they disaprove.

Dont worry about them... worry about your child and grandchild and their futures.

Answer 10

i think its really up to the family and their church to decide if this is right.. my personal belief is if the church is ok with it then start making plans to have it in the church there are many things that churches do and baby showers is one of them.. it all depends on the church leader.. again take the time to research this out .. and best wishes to the mother to be stay in college and the dad to be should step up and take responsibility for his family..