Need a little input here. I'm a single, adult guy. I date on a regular basis. Haven't been in a serious relationship for over a year. Here's my dilemma...
I recently began dating 2 wonderful women. It's very early, there are no commitments - just having a good time getting to know one another (in both cases).
Traditionally, I've only dated one woman at a time or I met someone who was so great that it was a no-brainer as far as where my 'relationship-nurturing' energies should go. This situation is different. Both ladies are smart, attractive, successful, appear into me, and have real potential. I'm not a player - this is just one of those "when it rains it pours" scenarios for me.
How long should I let this go on? As I said, no one is being lied to, there are no restrictions on dating other people, etc. Anyone have any thoughts on how to proceed, make up my mind, etc? Anyone have a similar experience?
2007-07-01 03:58:42 · 20 answers · asked by Gaius Caligula 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My worst-case scenario: I decide to pursue just one of the ladies, it doesn't work out and I know I turned away from someone wonderful.
2007-07-01 04:00:25 · update #1
As long as nobody is in a rush to decide, just keep dating both. Only time will allow for both of them to show their true colors, which will only make it easier for you to decide on one, if that is what you want to do at the time.
Don't decide based on who puts more pressure on you to be exclusive. Decide based on who's company you enjoy the most and who's the one who you absolutely you cannot give up. Only time will decide.
Believe me, women are experts at keeping their options open and having several candidates compete for the spot. Do the same and don't sell yourself short.
2007-07-01 04:04:09 · answer #1 · answered by Shots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been there, years ago between marriages. It's a tough scenario, but you absolutely can not keep this up for long. It just wont't work. I suspect that both of these women are dating nobody but you right now. It is too confusing to be involved in multiple relationships unless none of them are anything other than casual.
You may feel that you are not lying to them because you haven't said that you are dating anyone else. Do you think that either one of them has any clue that you are seeing anyone else? Imagine telling them that you have been seeing someone else you really like but don't know what to do..... instant death man.
Try this. Decide to stop seeing one of them. If you can't decide on your own, flip a coin. Sound arbitrary? Kind of. Flipping a coin for important decisions will either give you a result you can follow, or will reveal to you that the coin 'gave you the wrong decision.' The you will also know what direction to take.
Good luck.
2007-07-01 04:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by rush.limburger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dating Two Women At Once
2016-10-14 00:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by abele 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't make up my mind so fast. I would play it out awhile longer. Unless there is one you liked a little more than the other. You said it was resent for both, give it a few weeks or months and see where and how it all goes. Weigh the odds on both, compair the likes and dislikes, the good and bad. See which one wins out. Keep a diary and after each date make notes. Then after time to make a decision, go over the notes. Good Luck, and High Five from here.
2007-07-01 04:11:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go with the flow. Don't worry about it. You're just playing the field. If one of them finds out and doesn't like it then its a no-brainer on who you should choose. The commitment deal today is ridiculous in my opinion. I have never seen so many frustrated people in all my life. The sad part is that they are all young and sex is such a BIG part of your life when you're young. I won't go so far as to say that friends with benefits is lookin better all the time but come on, we are not monogomous. I'm sure you find many women attractive as I do and they find you attractive as well. Why is everyone so hung up on being so serious? Relax and enjoy life.
2007-07-01 04:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by Irish 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your reason for dating so many women, because you are looking for the right one to spend the rest of your life with? In that case you would need to decide early which one of the two wonderful ladies is the one for you, and hope you picked the right one. If you date them both for too long, the big problem will be, that you fall seriously in love with both girls. Now try to imagine telling one of them that you are marrying the other one --- a lot of pain and tears all around. You may even loose both of them, if neither knew, until you make your decision to dump one of them, how much you loved the other. If you are a guy that has a conscience you feel like a proper bastard when you have to make this painful decision. If you are only dating to pleasure yourself, then I can only feel sorry for the poor girls!
2007-07-01 04:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ziggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to choose between them? Why? Are things bothering you the way they are? You can let it go on like this as long as each of you chose... I'd wait until one of them leaves - and if they don't - then live it up with both! As long as you are honest with them there is no problem with dating many women at once. It's a positive learning experience.
2007-07-01 04:06:41 · answer #7 · answered by Dave F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everything works out the way it's supposed to so even if your worst case scenario comes true you'll probably have made the right decision anyhow.
I've had the exact same experience dating and I had to pick one. I picked the "right" guy and we've been together for about 4 years now. I wish I could give you advice on how to pick the right girl, but it's tough. I say you let this go on as long as it takes you to figure out which girl to choose--and as long as nobody's feelings gets hurt.
2007-07-01 04:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by Judy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i say as long as both women know that ur not dating exclusive then theres really no problem and how long is when u can decide that 1 is better for u than the other one because they cant really be identical 1 has got to have something that the other one doesnt that u like
2007-07-01 04:04:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
brother ... my advise to you as long as you want to choose one, that mean that you have manors. and both ladies would appreciate man like you. so don't try to choose who wants you really would stick ,and who don't ....wont. and while you don't have problem with either one of them so let them choose ... and at this point you need the one that would understand what you've been through and help you through it, the last thing you need is to repeat what ever happened before.. so don't take them for granted. just i,ll let U answer you self ( if you are playing poker , how many hands it takes you to loose to call it quit ... or to decide that you don't need different table you need different deck?) been there done that
2007-07-01 04:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by walid k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋