there are very few people in this world that i "hate." my step-sister is one of them. she is the most jealous, vile, conniving person i have ever met. i know that deep down inside she has very little love for anyone but herself. sometimes i think about it and have such rage. i know this isn't a very Christian response on my part. what are some ways that i can deal?
2007-07-01 03:12:13 · 11 answers · asked by KellyKapowski 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Realize first that God puts people in our lives to fulfill some purpose. How you respond to that person is important to God. Ask Him to help you love her. Be honest about how you feel and how you see her, then pray He will reveal what He wants from you and be willing to accept that. I've found that even if an undesireable person somehow leaves my life, another one with the same characteristics enters. It's because He is using them to mold me into what He wants me to become. Pray, pray, pray for that person and for a proper, Godly response to her. Be consistant. Do good to her. Show her the love of God. People with the characteristics you describe have been hurt or let down in the past. The attitude they have protects is their defense from ever being put in that position again. It usually goes back to childhood, but not always. Pray for compassion towards them and don't give up. Is she's a step sister, then you are stuck with her, so try to make the most of it. You may lead her into a salvation experience before it's over. Wouldn't that be glorious and you'd have a great testimony to share with others. God bless your prayers and reveal His presence in all your dealings with her. God never told us that being a Christian would be easy, and this is the kind of thing that tests our faith and endurance. Peace and good will in your house.
2007-07-01 03:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by Joyful Noise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you'll also take some advice from an atheist. Hatred is not an enjoyable emotion. For your own sake you must get beyond such emotions. Minimize the amount of time that you do spend interacting with your step-sister, but when you must, try to find some admirable qualities that she has and focus on those strengths.
2007-07-01 03:27:44 · answer #2 · answered by Dendronbat Crocoduck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying: "What you find offensive in others is what you hate about yourself." There is a lot of truth to that, because without a reference or a standard, it is impossible to compare something. (This is why Jesus told us not to judge.) And in the case of people's personalities or their behavior, this would seem to apply.
There is another saying: "Expectations are future resentments." This one applies to frustrated control freaks, when their sense of 'justice' doesn't pan out for them, or when they realize that they're not God.
The only person I can even slightly control is myself...and that takes a lot of practice. Don't let someone else rent space in your head...for then, it is THEY who are successfully controlling you, because you are giving away your self-control, for free.
Try making a list of all the things that offend you about her, and the things she does that upset you....write them down. Look at the items one by one and then ask yourself if you can remember a time when you have acted the same way...and be honest. Chances are, in every case you will be able to see what it is you did that you have not forgiven yourself for, and possibly need to make amends for! Then, you have some work to do...forget about her, and concentrate on cleaning up those nasty demons inside yourself, and work on this any chance you get. This REALLY WORKS! If you do this with all of your heart, new doors will open up for you that you never thought possible...and you won't have time leftover to worry about anybody elses nonsense!
God Bless You and Get Busy!
2007-07-01 03:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is two type of christian, first the one that is out of this world but yet in this world, second the one who is in this world and is subjected to the world and its law. I would categorise you to be the second. All are Christian and no one is greater or superior. Since you are of the second group then it is normal of what you are feeling and subjected to. You can try to repressed your feelings but it will be for a moment. You can also try to tolerate but it also will be for a moment. This is where prayer comes into effect and ask of the comforter to be a help and guide. Wisdom surfaces. Love begins to be your light. All this and many more will pass through your life until you reach the highest level of enlightenment. What you can do is to ask your guidance angel for guide. You have to be intimate with Christ. Praying daily in faith as if He is at your side. For He is! God bless!
2007-07-01 03:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by Kingdomchild07 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the only way we can avoid hating someone is to avoid him or her.
If you can't avoid them then pray. Every night. Not for her but for you. Ask for patience and love towards her. Every time she sends you a negative emotion (like anger) send her one in love. The best lesson I ever got was when I was playfully insulting someone and they didn't say anything but made me a cup of tea. They acted in love when I acted in a more negative emotion. She will learn that she will feel bad if she does not act nicely towards you. If she takes in a way that shows she doesn't care about the love you’re sending her then keep praying. Make sure your acting in love. Talk to her and tell her what YOUR FEELING not what she’s 'making' you feel. It's your choice to let her make you angry or to ignore her jibes. If all this fails speak to your parents about it and confront her that way or with some mutual friends.
Also remember that while Jesus was being crucified He was still praying for those that persecuted Him.
2007-07-01 03:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does Jesus say? Love your enemies. You don't have to like them you just have to love them. There is a difference. I don't like a lot of people but when I deal with them I show them love. Love is action not feelings. This is why many marriages fail. Love needs to be put into action even if there is no feeling or desire for the person. Anyways, after you start loving a person you may start liking them also.
2007-07-01 03:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by George 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's getting so one can't say ANYTHING without offending SOMEBODY, but Grandma used to bake up a big, old dark fruitcake around Thanksgiving, wrap it up in cheesecloth soaked in rum, and leave it in a tin boc on a closet shelf 'till Christmas. Deeeeelish!
2016-04-01 01:57:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray about it. Leave it to the Lord. He will help you to overcome this situation. Give it time too. Miracles can take time. It is a wonderful thing to have a sister, maybe one day you can truly enjoy having her in your life.
2007-07-01 03:19:47 · answer #8 · answered by Nina, BaC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is only one way in which you can deal with this and it is what Jesus told us to do. Pray for her. It is hard to do (I have a similar battle in my life), but ask the Holy Spirit to help you and it will be easier. Persevere. You will soon see results!
2007-07-01 03:19:15 · answer #9 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her and move past it. If need be do not associate with her any longer. But to rid yourself of the hate just forgive her and move on.
2007-07-01 03:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by tebone0315 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋