ok, i feel really bored and miserable today because my cricket game was canceled and now i have nothing to do! as i said in the title, if you can make me laugh, with a joke, ten points for you!
2007-07-01 03:10:21 · 33 answers · asked by Klick 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hey, thanks for the first 2 answers!
i didn't ask for you opinion, i just want to have fun!
2007-07-01 03:14:41 · update #1
hey there.your upset? aww i go thru that lmaost every fuckin day it sux dont it lol.whats a cricket gam anyhows?? what do u play with them or sumthing? well juss wandering but uhm i dont know how to make u smile lol.maybe im juss a stupid blonde whos not funny.probly right..lol.i might have sum jokes u could read...i hope they make u smile..or maybe ill come over there and help you..lol..
An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...
Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my penis" ?
The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans penis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!
He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it ?"
The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.
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Three men went to hell.
The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"
He then opened the doors to the three rooms.
Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.
Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.
Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in **** up to their knees and drinking coffee.
The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.
They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."-
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there are some jokes..sorry if i couldnt make u smile..i still love ya and hope ur cricket playing games thingy is resceduled
2007-07-01 03:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello, im 13 now and i started babysitting when i was 11 so your not younge lol. Okai so when you have a toddler you have to pay attention to them to make sure there not getting into anything right. I would recomend sitting down on the carpet and playing a little game with the older child but still keeping the toddler entertained on the side. And use the nap solution. Put the toddler down for a nap then u can play some fun stuff with the kid without hasteling with yound one. Hope thats helps!. Have fun!!! =]
2016-05-20 01:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An American who knew nothing of the game had been taken to a few cricket matches by a friend and was now studying the end-of-season averages.
Every now and then he came across an asterisk and the words: 'Signifies not out.' Finally, he turned to his friend and said:
'Why don't you get this guy Signifies to play for your side? He's never out!'
2007-07-01 03:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by sevenscarabs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not exactly a joke... but hopefully good for a smile anyway :-)
What fun!...
Radishes are decimated
Broccoli is terminated
Slugs and snails are partying
All vegetables eradicated
Peas and carrots cultivated
Onions all assassinated
Strawberries a mound of mould
Tomatoes, leeks, obliterated...
"What fun to grow your own! "
fb31w
2007-07-01 03:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves.
The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"
The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?"
The clerk replied, "No,"
and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"
Yeah, it's crap.. but i tried :D
hey and what's with the anti welsh jokes up there? i'm welsh and i find that offensive!! (theyre quite funny though)
2007-07-01 03:15:41 · answer #5 · answered by PopPopPoppedyPop 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
"The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’
"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"
This is said to be the world's funniest joke
2007-07-01 03:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by soccerful 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Healing power
An elderly couple was watching a show where a preacher was talking about the healing powers of God..
"To all of those who are ailed by some sickness, place your hand on the screen & I will heal you!" the preacher exclaimed.
The old lady, who was having some stomach problems, placed her hand on the top of the T.V.
The old man placed his hand on the T.V. also, then stuck his hand deep into his pants.
His wife looks over at him and says, "Gordon, the preacher is talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead!"
2007-07-01 06:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so there is a chinese guy an american and a mexican guy on a plane then the pilot says over the intercom listen guys we need to lose some weight the engins are failing.So the chinese guy throws a huge pot of rice out of the plane and says dont worry we have a lot of those in my country.Then the pilot calls back again and says the engins are still failing and they need to lose more weight so the american guy throws the mexican guy out of the plane and says dont worry we have a lot of those in my country. Get it?
2007-07-01 04:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I got this on a text the other day and it made me laugh out loud, although you probably have to be over 35 to get it......
"The streets of Hull and Sheffield are ringing with cries of Super, Smashing, Great, as the Bullseye speedboat winners finally have their day"
2007-07-01 03:18:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was driving my car the other day and I went into the back of this 4x4. I was surprised when the driver got out of the 4x4 because he was a dwarf. He came up to my car and tapped on the window. I wound the window down and the dwarf said "I'm not happy" so I said "Which one are you then?"
2007-07-01 03:16:30 · answer #10 · answered by caldini 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋