Complete this Dear John.......?

Question

Dear _____(fill in)__ :

Well, it was good while it lasted, but now (check appropiate answer):

___ the county health services wants your phone number.
___ time wounds all heals.
___ you can have an intimate relationship with your answering machine.
___ is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party.

I finally got the
___ message.
___ picture.
___ joke.
___ right cologne.
___ blood test results.

I don't
___ like
___ want
___ need
you.

Too bad, because when you want to, you can be
___ beautiful.
___ handsome.
___ intelligent.
___ very psychic/psychotic.
___ a sex maniac.
___ God's answer for having too much fun.
___ Arnold Schwartzenneger's prototype for Terminator 3.

I would greatly appreciate you taking responsibility for
___ your own "stuff,"
___ feeding the starving sharks,
___ paying for your own lobotomy,
and being
___ confused.
___ a nutjob.
___ a preoperative transsexual.

I didn't
___ have an impure thought,
___ tell anyone about your operation,
___ write to the National Enquirer,
___ bribe that short guard in cell block D,
but I wish I had.

Thank you for helping me to see the light about you. I now no longer feel like
___ seeing you.
___ knowing that you ever existed.
___ flushing the toilet for you.

This is in the wrong category.....should have been in jokes......sorry.

Answer 1

I think it's funny - the "dances with meatloaf guy" needs a date - then he maybe he wouldn't be so crabby. This joke is in the wrong category - but reminds me of a couple of relationships that I know of that went wrong. Thanks for the giggle.

Answer 2

Don't you have the ability to talk and communicate like an adult human being? Are you 12 years old or is this just a gag? I hope so because this would be really be putrid and repulsive but classically female otherwise. Not funny but I'm sure women will find it quite amusing.

Answer 3

Rick
time heals all wounds
picture
want
intelligent
your own "stuff"
have an impure thought
seeing you

Answer 4

Very funny.

Answer 5

you must have a lot of free time