If you found out you were dating a sngle mother. how would you react to that? If you really liked her would you run or stay? Would you date her to see where it would lead? Would you want to take her kids out with you some times on dates to get to know they kids? how many would relly want to date her to marry her? And how many would date her just for the sex? and how many wouldn't date her at all?
2007-07-01 02:22:19 · 17 answers · asked by sassylassy2876 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My ex-wife had a child before I came in to the picture, it was great to have a child(girl) in the relationship. Little girls become so attach to the father figure in her life, the love they show is unbelievable. I would definitely stay and of course I would enjoy having the kids come along on our date. There are plenty of place you can go with the kids. If our relationship become serious and she's compassionate, trustworthy, and affectionate--I would marry her. I would not date just for sex.
2007-07-08 22:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by Rafa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must view this on many levels:
1. You do not mention all of your ages, however if the kids are very young and you stay with this woman, you will end up with all the financial responsibility for her kids. Statistics in the USA show that after a divorce, the over 50% of children lose all contact with their biological fathers within 2-3 years, this includes child support. The money you earn goes to someone else's offspring. This cheats any offspring YOU might have. From an evolutionary point of view this is not good. A male needs to insure the survival of his own kids first.
2. Step families have a lot of stress! I've never seen one that is sucessful. At least one of the step kids gets very screwed up and rebellious. If people would look at things realistically they would have to admit that this is often the case. These kids are a reminder that this woman had sex with another man. HE is always there, even if not physically.
3. You wrote that you 'found out' she was a single mother. If she didn't tell you this by the first date, then you need to think: What else is she hidding? This is a concern.
4. Some people do not want to introduce their kids to a potential mate until they know the person will most likely stay around; others want to see in the beginning if their kids and potential new mate are compatible. This is very personal and the two of you must decided this one your own.
5. DO NOT DATE HER JUST FOR SEX. That is very unkind. Karma has a way of getting back at you. Take the high road. Be moral. She may turn out to be the best friend you could ever think of, if you don't treat her like trash. Friends do not grow on trees.
2007-07-09 03:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by Alea S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say being a single mother definitely ups the ante a little bit on the poor girl who is the single mother. It's like, when rating all of the women from one to fifteen, the single mother is automatically starting with a negative two, if she has one kid; and say a negative four, if she has two kids; and a negative six, if she had three kids.
Aside from that though, not all women are perfect, and if the single mother is perfect in most all other ways, she might actually still out rate some of the women who don't have kids to where she is still the guy's best dating option.
I would be open to dating a woman with kids, if I already knew her and liked her, probably. But if the first thing that someone told me about her was that she had kids, I'd probably pass on her. So in a way, it's all in how it's introduced. Not that I'd be dishonest, and hide it until after you dated the guy. But it would be cool to like be his chemistry lab partner in college, and just be all flirty and everything for like a month, and then after he's interested, bring up that you have a kid(s). I don't think something like: "Hi! I'm Alyssa and I have a child." is a good introduction really.
I'm a dog so I would always date her for the sex.
But if I really enjoyed her company, and we clicked to where we were like best friends, I would definitely marry her.
And it would be important to take the kids out on picnics or something, so the guy could spend time with the kids. I've got a friend that's 22 and has already been divorced twice, and the main reason is the kids. Both of his ex-wives had kids before he married them. And it's sort of because the mom was really hot, but she didn't tell him she had kids until late, after they were engaged. And the kids were really unknowns going into the marriage. And then he didn't like the kids. So I'd say that you definitely would want to know whether or not a guy liked your kids at somepoint before getting married.
2007-07-01 09:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong to date a single mother as long as you know why is she single. They are hard nuts to crack coz life makes them that way. It is absolutely OK to date her, spend time with her, take her kid(s) out with you sometimes. But my first question is why would a man do all this? Obviously only n only when a man loves her so much that he is ready to accept her in every condition. Then being a single mom doesnt really matter. Many would date her just for SEX.. That is typical of MEN. 60% men would date her only to have SEX. 35% would not date her at all, 2% would date her and will be really good to her and her kid(s) while the balance 3% would date her and then wont conclude.
2007-07-09 04:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 25 years old I married a lady with 2 kids, raised the kids like my own for 10 years and to this day even though I am not with the lady anymore, I still consider the two kids who are now grown with their own families my kids. We are still close to this day. When I date I have no problem dating a woman with children.
2007-07-08 23:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by paul s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a problem at all. The issue of kids should have been discussed right at the get go. Now you already started the relationship on false pretenses. If he runs at the mention of kids, let him go. He isn't worthy of your time. As far as only for sex, there are those people out there. Take your time and find the truelly perfect person for you AND the kids.
2007-07-01 09:32:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's really not a good idea if it's because of a usual, typical divorce.
If her husband cheated on her or died, it might be okay. The reason for her not being married any longer should be considered carefully. Under the right circumstances, it could (and should) benefit the child. Marriage should be a consideration if you're going to do this.
This is my view, but I assure you it's not how most men think. Most are selfish dogs. Be careful (and what is the story with your husband)?
2007-07-01 09:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have found woman of broken relationships have learned about heartache,figured out there own mistakes.and are careful not to repeat them.dating with her children could be a mistake,for when you leave the child sufferes your loss too.so date,come to terms with your feelings about her quickly if at all possible'use a condom.have respect for her and yourself not to bring unwanted child into the world.if u could see yourself with her in acommitted relationship,include the child.everyone deserves happiness,single men and woman?
2007-07-09 06:55:00 · answer #8 · answered by MIKE S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have dated single mothers in the past,
and always included the children, they are a very important part of the womans life, to exclude the children would be foolish. when you date a single mother, you are dating the her whole world, as she is dating your world too.
2007-07-01 09:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends how she would feel about dating a single father. But I think I'd be OK with it.
2007-07-01 09:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by Dave F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋