My best friend and i have been friends for about 5 years now. When we were 15 he moved away. I havn't seen him since, but we've kept in contact and we are still really close.
I'm going to be going up in August to see him though. Then next year I'm moving to his city for College.
We've been talking about starting a relationship together. I love him and he's told me he's in love with me.
In August I really want to sleep with him. It'll both our first time.
I'm 17 and he is 18.
Is this ok?
2007-07-01 01:17:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm on the pill. But yes we'll use both forms of protection.
2007-07-01 01:22:37 · update #1
A lot can happen in five years. My advice is that you should take these decisions progressively rather than having a plan to follow. You know people in love have sex, it is no big deal.... but you have plenty of time to work out if you are really in love with him before you decide to have sex.... Seems to me you have made a bit of a thing out of holding back for someone you love.... which is beautful, might I say.... plenty of others just see it as an opportunity to hook up... and that's OK too.. just don't go breaking your heart as well as your hymen on your first time... my thoughts.
2007-07-01 01:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Icy Gazpacho 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Hey - just wanted to say - you could use all forms of birth control - and still get pregnant - or an STD. You said you are going to move there - for college, right? Well - a baby sure would stop those plans!! Believe me. Plus - do you want to risk losing a great friend - it happens a lot. AND...I know, I can ramble... :) however, if you are asking others - it looks like you aren't sure you are ready - and you need advice from others on this. Do you really want strangers deciding when or if you lose your virginity?? Seriously. Are they going to be around if and when you have a baby or two? Nope! They will be the same people telling you what a mistake you have made.
Good luck - take it slow. That is my advice - because I found out the harder way. I love my son with all of my heart - and don't regret for a single day that I had him. I just wish I finished college, and got more things in order - so it wouldn't have been so hard on myself after he was born. Things are great now - I am doing what I can. It's just hard as a single parent - and will be here and there. My son's father and I were best of friends - no different than you and your friend, however, he got scared - and left - and has never seen his son - who will be 4 this year.
Think of all your options, all the consequinces, and remember - actions lead to reactions.
And if this friend has been around this long - and you two decide to wait - he'll most likely be around for many years to come - and will definately respect you more.
Good luck - have fun - and don't put off term papers in college! :)
2007-07-02 02:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, only the two of you can determine if the time is right for each of you. It sounds like you have good, solid friendship and that is a great way to start a deeper relationship. My wife and I were friends first. We just hung out together, watched movies and basically spent all of our time together. It naturally progressed into more and we have been together for 6 years now and married for 3 yrs. Of course, it's been a long time since you've actually been around each other, so hopefully, it will feel as if you guys were never apart. If so, that's a great sign. Just don't rush it, enjoy your time together and see what happens and how you are feeling to see him again. I wish you both the best and hope you will find happiness.
2007-07-01 14:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you think that just because you feel like you know each other well, that it's the perfect time to sleep with him. You've only started talking about a relationship. He's not even your boyfriend yet!!! Why not plan a couple dates, let him ask you to be his gf, THEN consider what kind of person he is and whether you want to sleep with him.
You all might not get in trouble legally, but no form of protection is 100%. If you've waited this long, you can wait longer to really get to know him. Sex won't get better or worse the longer you wait. It's JUST sex, and you can be as creative as you want, but it all boils down to a "peg in the hole" if you get my meaning.
When going to college (I have my Master's degree), my focus was COLLEGE, and not losing my virginity. You can only TRULY be a virgin once, you have the rest of your life to be used goods, so make sure that it's worth it (not just that "he's told me that he's in love with me" all the guys on Y! Answers can say that to you too, should they start forming a line at your door? )!! Unless you and your bestfriend have back-up plans in case you get pregnant (which I did AFTER graduating) then maybe your focus is really OFF!! By the way, why isn't he going off to COLLEGE?
To everyone telling this girl to have sex, and giving people telling her to wait "thumbs down" (like you probably will to me) SHAME ON YOU. Think beyond yourself, what if this was your kid, or little cousin, etc?
2007-07-01 08:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you have to ask then perhaps you aren't ready? I would wait until you see this guy in August and see how you feel once you start spending time with him again.
You will know if you still want to sleep with him.
If you do then I hope it is very special for both of you and the beginnings of a lovely relationship.
Definitely practice safe sex.
2007-07-01 08:22:43 · answer #5 · answered by familyties 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wabby,putting your age aside (which I think is an important factor) by planning to have sexual relations with someone and almost planning the day sounds more like a doctor's appointment than emotion for someone.I do think that it is good you would both be using protection IF you go ahead as planned.However this entire encounter does not sound like the talk of someone in love more like someone who is trying to hold onto the past.Wabby,I think it sounds like you just want someone to love you.NEVER mistake lust for love.Take care.
2007-07-02 09:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not hide sweetie, Dad knows best.
I highly recommend you to give yourself some time... I am sure you guys have been together for a very long time, but at age 17 we often make mistakes that shouldn't have been made.
Love is shown in various circumstances, so excluding sex out of your relationship with him at this age shouldn't affect either of you.
Huging each other, kissing each other, be respectful to each other, compliment each other, is the most attracting thing about relationship... Of course you want to have sex with him now, but eventually it may causes some sort of regrets.
I told my mother at age 18 that I was old enough to be responsible for my own action and decision. I told them I was a man and needed to live my own life because I was sure I could manipulate life. They allowed me to have my own way, which led me into shame and disgrace. My sister on the other hand thought she was loved and got fooled into devastation. But I rather introduce my story to you rather than my sister's.
The girl who I thought was mine wasn't mine. The girl I thought would marry me married someone else. The girl I took care of was sleeping with her soon-to -be husband. The girl I loved broke my tender heart. Yes, we were very close, but things were going on under my nose without me realizing it. A similiar thing happened to my sister.
What is so wrong about having sex now? They're many factors, but I can't explain them to you. Nature will explain everything to you once you mature more while life continues to fertilize our wisdom and knowledge...
As a Dad, I've learned so many things over the last 2 years, and I am sure I am still in the progress of learning about life.
I suggest you to wait until you are ready. Your body will tell you when you are ready.
How will my body tell me when I am ready?
Answer: When you have no questions regarding sex. When you have no fear in sex. When you know you want to have sex and not pleasing your partner instead.
Dad.
2007-07-01 18:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to sleep with him then sleep with him but...
you may be inflating the situation and expect too much.
Also, maybe you should wait until you've spent time together.
You're in no rush. If he is the one then you have time.
Waiting will allow you two to get used to each other and
Increase anticipation or let you see it isn't a good idea.
As your first time anyway it probably will be ackward.
2007-07-01 08:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are the only ones who will know if it's okay. From personal experience, sex is best when both of the people truly care for and love each other, so I say go for it!!! Friends make the best lovers anyhow. Good luck to you both!
2007-07-01 08:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Bella 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even though you guys kept in close contact, is sleeping with him as soon as you see him a good idea? Why don't you guys just hang out and then you when you guys start a decent relationship, you can decide whether you want to hit the shack with this guy. Jeez.
2007-07-01 08:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋