I need help on the people. I have a 17 year old step-child that lives with me my husband and my 3 small children. She literally hates me and to prove it she is disrespects me and my children everyday. My husband her father doesn't do anything that help the situation; she just does what she wants and says what she wants (cursing and call me names) and it making everyday living, hell. I sometimes have to tell my kids, "just stay away from her!", because she will yell and scream at them because she had a crappy day or whatever. My kids get nervous around her sometimes and i hate that. I tried talking to her, and make sense of this but we just end-up screaming and damn near fighting. I want her to finish high school next year so I don’t want her to be out on the street. I do love the girl but that love is turning in to hate. I can't have my children live with this type of disrespect and evil-ness. Should I take my kids and go?
2007-06-30 19:00:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She was a little up set when i married her father. she was hoping it was going to been someone else that he dated a long time ago, because she was a push over and did anything she wanted. but im like you have to work for rewards and have manners in order to get nice things. i treated her as my own. we have been married for 5 years and she came here from jamaica about 3 years ago, because she was doing the same thing out there. before she came here she was been very disrespectful to her mother and family members. i told her that i wanted her to make a happy and productive life for herself here and that we any try to make that happen. i have tried talking to her as a friend and as a mother. nothing has worked i have talked to her father and he says that he has talked to, her but i never see it. i feel as if they are trying to push me out of this house, because there has not been any change what so ever. im not asking for a miracle, just want to get alone so that we can live together.
2007-07-01 03:01:51 · update #1
Talk to your daughter. You need to tell her that you love her, but she needs to stop acting this way. Tell her about the fact that you don't want her to end up on the streets. You love her enough to seek advice for this problem. She needs to know what will happen if this continues. Your children should not be exposed to this anger that she brings to your home.
2007-06-30 19:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a difficult situation. And the fact that your husband is doing nothing is concerning. But there is always two sides to every story and I'm sure your step daughter's would be different then yours. I would guess she feels like an outsider and not part of the new "happy" family. Probably like left overs from the previous marriage. I would suggest you set up a time where the two of you can sit and talk. Start by calmly telling her that you want to work things out with her so that you can enjoy being together. Ask her what you can do to make that happen. The key is to not put her on the defensive. Your needs are going to be secondary for a bit....you want to make her feel loved and valued....if you can do that, part of the behavior you see will immediately disappear. Some of it is like a bad habit and will take time. But you have a girl who's acting out most likely because she doesn't' feel like she's a valued or wanted part of the family. And I'm sorry she's difficult.....but she's part of the package deal. BTW...consider this on the job training for when your kids get older.....
2007-06-30 19:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by wendy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This girl is screaming for help! You and your husband need to set boundaries for her and work together to make them stick. If he is that unwilling to get involved with his own daughter, can you take her for counselling just the 2 of you?
Be polite, but firm with her. Remove financial help, don't do her laundry, only allow her to eat her meals at regular meal times, if she is rude tell her to go to her room. If your husband does not back on any of this, then yes, I would take the younger kids and go. Or they will grow up thinking this is the behavior that is acceptable.
2007-06-30 19:16:13 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother and a Step-mother i was going to respond but Wendy couldn't have said it better. I'm lucky my step kids are young enough the fits they use to have over me wasn't near as drastic but it is important they feel loved...
2007-06-30 19:36:53 · answer #4 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long have you been married?? did she all of a sudden just wake up one day and hate you or has she been like this since you got married?? are you sure there is nothing going on between you guys?? you should try to talk to her and find out what is going on with her and if she refuses to talk to you, you should tell your husband that he needs to talk to her and find out what her problem is OR ELSE.. i'm sure he'd rather talk to his daughter about it than lose his wife..
2007-06-30 22:07:20 · answer #5 · answered by idgaf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋