Help, my husband gets mad, because I have no sex drive!!!?

Question

I am bi-polar and take Effexor ER and Lamitcial, plus at night I take Kolipion to help me sleep. He doesnt think that this medications should effect me that way. Someone help me out please.... I need information to give to him so he can understand...

Answer 1

You can go to www.effexorxr.com. There they have direct information from the company about this medication. You can also go to your Pharmacist for explicit information or he could even go to your Dr. if he is so concerned to learn about all of this with you. Effexor, among many other psychotropic medications cause your sex drive to go down. It could also be the Lamictal too. Your condition alone could be playing a major role and he needs to understand these things and be more willing to accept them. Numerous people have to deal with these side effects but ultimately the pros out weigh the cons. This medication is stabilizing your moods and your sex drive may gradually come back. Perhaps you just need some time. Tell him to please stand by you and support you because that is what you need most of all right now. There are many ways to be intimate without having sex. I wish you the best~

Answer 2

Very likely your husband is going to need to hear the facts of medication side effects from someone else.
Compounding your problem, here is that if a guy gets turned-down he takes it as a put-down toward him and his sexuality. Whether he's frustrated physically, or mentally confused about the situation, it is going to be expressed as anger.

Take him with you to your next Dr.s appointment. Have the Dr. explain the side effects to him -- then, there in front of your husband, ask the Dr what you can do to become more sexually active with your husband. (Just your asking the question will build up his ego)

Answer 3

Sweety I think you need to see the doctor that gave you these meds and tell them what you are having trouble with and see what they can do for you . There is treatments for low sex drives and I think you should look into it or you may wind up losing your man because of this problem. I'm sure he tries to understand but, a persons patience only goes so far. Just because you have no sex drive should not mean you should not try to make your mate happy at least a little, if you know what I mean, you have to think of him to you know. Good luck and I hope you get things worked out.

Answer 4

I was on Paxil for the duration of my marriage and had zero sex drive. A lot of times, I would have sex just to appease my husband, but obviously it wasn't fun for me. It was torture. And that wasn't good enough for him. I understand that sex is important in a marriage, but I was where you are...what do you when you have no sex drive and you have to take meds or else be depressed?? It's very difficult. I don't want to scare you b/c it wasn't the only factor, but my husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce. A very bitter and painful divorce. And one of the things he keeps saying is that we didn't even have a marriage b/c "we never had sex." I'm not saying that that's why we got divorced, but it was one of many reasons. My point is that although I don't know what you should do (if I did, I would've done it myself lol), please talk to your doctor, try to really make your husband understand that your lack of libido is from the pills and nothing personal (my husband just would not get the concept)....do whatever you have to do to fix this problem in some way b/c it could have bad consequences. Again, not trying to scare you. Just letting you know that your dilemma is a very very common one and I truly feel for you. I was just telling you my story hoping you could share it with your husband, have him realize it really is b/c of the pills and to tell you to try to seek out some sort of remedy if one is available. I wish you the best and hope you can get your sex drive back! Oh, one last thing...I've heard of something called "drug holidays." Some medications for depression/bipolar cause very bad withdrawals after a few days, but I've heard of people going off of them for just one or two days, getting their libido back even slightly, having sex, then going back on their medication. This is just something I heard about that works for some people....but obviously discuss this with your doctor if you plan on stopping your medication. Again, good luck.

Answer 5

Most antidepressents or medications of that nature will cause some sort of sexual problem. Here are a couple of sites I found that you may check out:
http://drugs.healthdiaries.com/effexor-side-effects.html
http://www.lamictal.com/bipolar/patients/starting-lamictal.html

Answer 6

then maybe you should try pleasuring him orally without sex.
Your husband married u to have sex only with u, if u can't provide it, he might go find it elsewhere.
Just remember that, men have sexual needs.

Answer 7

talk to your doctor.

Answer 8

thats hard...im sry