i am in my early-mid 20s and live at home and work f/t. i am attempting to shed the 30 pounds i gained while in college with a sensible diet and exercise. i have lost about 15 already and have some more to go. generally, i am pretty good on the diet but when i do cheat, and my mom sees me, she launches into a lecture/tirade about how if i want to reach my goals i shouldnt sabotage myself. it is not supportive and helpful at all. it is mean and judgemental and makes me feel bad and want to eat more. she yells at me like im a child if she sees me eat something "bad" or makes suggestions about what choices i should make at dinner. i find it completely overbearing and obnoxious, esp. considering i am in my 20s and am generally pretty good about my eating. me, my therapist, and my father all tell her to be quiet because it's obnoxous and counter-productive but i still hear a lecture at least once a day. how can i get her to stop?
2007-06-21 17:29:56 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her she is killing your desire to lose weight, and if she doesn't stop with the negative comments, you are going to stop dieting period. There is nothing worse than someone who actually thinks they are helping by making negative comments, when the truth is, it make it worse, I know, I have been fighting a weight problem all my life. You need supportive and positive people around you if you are going to succeed. She is holding you back, and you need to let her know that you aren't losing the weight for her, you are losing it for yourself, so she needs to stop the negativity if you are ever going to succeed. I know it's hard, but hang in there! Good Luck!
2007-06-21 17:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by che_rae_gra53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the others are right, this is a sign that you should move out of home and be independent. Obviously your mother is trying to help, and while you are at home for her to watch over you (like she did when you were a child, I would imagine) she is not going to stop trying to help you. If you find it overbearing, maybe it really is time you moved out of home and live your own daily life. Maybe there are reasons why that cannot happen, and if there are, maybe just don't let her catch you eating bad food in the house - don't eat or have any there. Good luck.
2007-06-22 07:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out. She treats you like a child because you, a grown adult working full time, are stilling living off of her. Get your own place with an answering machine. Return calls when she can be civil.
And congrats on the weight loss. Do it now while you can, it doesn't get any easier. Less in, more out, that is the only magic bullet there is for weight loss. Good luck!
2007-06-22 00:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, move out... act like an adult and she will start treating you like one... stand up for yourself...
Also, realize that she probably chides you because of something hurtful in her past, having nothing to do with you... could be something weight related or something that someone said to her that cut her deep...
Anyway, move out, act like an adult and also give her some grace (even though she may not deserve it)...
2007-06-22 09:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by biblicalfive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably won't be able to make her stop until she understands what she says and does isn't productive. It seems to me that she's thinking about herSELF more than you - thinking your appearance effects her. But it is mean and you either need to leave or just block out her comments and know you're doing what you need to do and you're a good person,regardless of your weight!
Love to you
2007-06-22 00:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by Susie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move into your own place.
2007-06-22 00:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋