I feel so bad and confused..Need advice?

Question

I feel bad by how I was treated by my family.Well I found out that my grandmother was dying of colon cancer.I hadn't seen her in almost thirthteen years, I was around 12 at the time.She would help me out so often, she sometimes helped me buy my schoolbooks, clothes, whatever I needed she was pretty much there for me, she even took me and my brother in when we were homeless.So thirthteen years went by and I never went to visit her, so when I went to go see her on her death bid, I just broke out into tears..my cousin cursed me out, called me all kinds of b words, my other family members didn;t really say much too me either., after thirthteen years! so keep in mind I'm working full time and going to school full time.I stayed for three days, and I left knwing that my grandmother was dying, So my aunt cursed me out and told me to never call her again, and that I think "I'm a celebrity", and how could I not come see my grandmother

One of my cousins' was supposed to take me to the airport, but she flaked on me and I almost missed my plane..also I took a six hour flight I had to take the bus to my grandmother house ...and I broguth it up and that's why my aunt said "I think I'm a celebrity" I wanna a relationship with my family, but I don't think it's possible?

Answer 1

this is a tough question. what i recommend is that you try to spend more time with them. i dont know how and when but just try it. tell them about the flight thing also. they probably dont know and think that you think your too famous to them, which at all isnt even one bit true. I'm sorry i couldn't be more helpful

Answer 2

I made it into the hospital entry door as my grandmother passed and it still kills me to this day. that was 19 1/2 years ago. She raised me pretty much when i wasnt living with her she was renting a house right next door to me, my mom & my sister.always close. I got married and moved away then she got sick, colon cancer too, and i wasnt there as much as i wanted to be. Now you said that she helped you buy things you needed for school, am i to assume this is for college, this is why you werent around? For some reason to me it seems as though your family was thinking you were using her for money but couldnt take the time to visit, is this the case? Why were you gone for 13 years. Did you leave at age 12? not very clear on the details. Truth be known your family was just in a lot of pain at the time with her passing at the very time you were leaving after having not been there for years.If you were taking $$$ the whole time you werent visiting her it can make for painfull thoughts and words. Give them a little time and yourself. Put aside your pride and call a few of them. Even if they are made and say things to hurt you they will know you tried. More importantly, YOU will know you tried.
Good Luck!
just a thought- maybe the cousin that was so hard on you had a touch of jealousy thinking that maybe grandma helped you out and you werent even there while hse may have been there all the time and wanted help that wasnt avalible because ofit going to you. Think from her side for a bit before you get to angry. It sounds as though your grandmother was a caring person keep her heart alive in you by you becoming a caring person as well. Make her proud!

Answer 3

I too wonder why you never saw your grandmother if she was so good to you. But you were young and maybe didn't think of it or didn't know how to handle the situation. Working and going to school full time is very demanding.
It does sound like some of your family members are very difficult. It could be that they are worse than normal because somebody they love is dying.
At least you went to see your grandmother before she died; I'm sure she appreciated it. The reason she helped you when you were younger is, that she wanted you to do well in life. It sounds like you are working hard at that, and she'll be glad.
Aren't there any family members that are more decent? If so, try to talk to them. If not, don't bother. It's not worth it. Make your own healthy relationships.

Answer 4

You didn't say if you called her or kept in touch and that would be key to me. Our famlies are spread out and not everyone lives in the same state or even general part of the country, life gets hectic and we don't get to see loved ones. Thirteen years is a long time not to see someone who obviously meant a lot to you.

Your family is dealing with grief and part of their lashing out at you may be attributed to that. While they should be the ones to try and mend fences for their actions, I would suggest that you not give up and try and talk with them. We always think we will "go see/call them next week" and then we never get the chance as next week never comes.

Your grandmother knows you came when she needed you there and she know that you love her and are very grateful for what she did.

Hang in there.......

Answer 5

You need to look into your own heart. You went to see your Grandmother BEFORE she actually passes on. You made the peace with her- ignore the comments from your cousin and aunt. They may feel you hurt your Grandmother during the years you stayed away but as far as your Grandmother you made it a point to see her now and that says alot.

Answer 6

Try to keep in mind that they are all probably really upset by the fact that she's dying. Although it not good that you didn't visit her more often I'm sure she understood that it was difficult for you to do so being that you were working so hard to keep your life on track with school and work. I'm sure your other family members will come around too.

Answer 7

you may desire to not experience undesirable or in charge...you're doing something properly worth whilst for the community and gratifying a call for for college. Your dad is making an attempt to be supportive of your efforts. My suggestion could be to head to the fundraiser this nighttime with your loved ones on the grounds which you already made a dedication to accomplish that. yet interior the destiny, be very selective concerning the activities you sign in for. There might desire to be different activities that don't contain bringing the completed kin and paying various money. seem for activities like vacationing citizens in a Nursing homestead or furnish to collect cans and turn over the money on your Make A desire club. If there isn't something so you might attempt then commence making techniques to the club and furnish to get the ball rolling. stable success.

Answer 8

Why exactly would you want a relationship with this family? Sorry about your grandmother but where was she after you were 13? She was the grown up, not you and it doesn't sound like she made any attempt to keep a relationship. Stop feeling guilty about not seeking out someone who didn't care enough to keep up with her own grandchild. As far as the family goes, I would leave them to their own devices.

Answer 9

try talking with one family member at a time tell them your situation and why u weren't there. Did you try to pick up the phone and call? That wouldn't hurt to do. Talk with your aunt also and see if theres anything to do to stop her from hating you. Good luck!

Answer 10

They are emotional wreaks don't worry about them. Move on with your life.