Can I be held responsible for the actions of a 16 year old daughter?

Question

She drinks when I'm not home at home, she parties, she's loud, she is about to flunk out of school. I have been served noticed by the Independence MO Social Services that I will be held accountable for her behavior. Her mother and I are divorced. Her mom has lupus and had to give up custody. Can I turn her over to the state?

Before any more peckerwoods get personal. This is not my daughter. I'm helping a guy I work with find answers.

Answer 1

Yes, your friend is responsible for her until she is 18 years old. Here is what I would do in this case. (I'm very pragmatic.)

1.Have your friend talk to his daughter very calmly. It sounds like she has a mind of her own. Treat her with respect and acknowledge that he cares about her--even if he's mad or doesn't care about her. Say that she has grown-up so fast, I'm sorry for not recognizing it earlier.

2. Since she is 16 she can apply to be an emancipated minor. This man needs to convince her to get a full-time job and enroll in an INDEPENDENT STUDY high school, usually at night. (Here they go 1 hour a week! Easy homework because most of the kids there are very behind in their academics.) If the courts see that she is working and 'going to school' this emancipation will most likely be granted. She must be made to understand that it is in her best interest to work and 'go to school' until she is 18.

3. This will free your friend from her legally. Also, in some weird way SHE may actually turn around because she will have the goal of emancipation. She will have to do 'positive' grown-up activities to achieve her aims.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 2

My best friend's daughter was just like that. Wouldn't listen to a thing she said,skipping school,partying,fighting. My friend worked with the school counselor and got her into a juvenile home for 90 days. Was the best thing she ever did. Of course my friend cried the whole way home after making her child go,but she really needed some help. The daughter came out a completely different kid. She now gives her mom hugs instead of punches.Sometimes tough love is the best way to go,even if it breaks our heart to do it.
She may be able to be turned over to the state,but that might cause more harm than good. She will think she has been abandoned and that no one cares.
Good luck.

Answer 3

The short answer is yes, the father is responsible.

First: he should get in touch with a counselor at Social Services and explain his situation. That will create a record and demonstrate that he made a good faith effort to seek help for his daughter.

Secondly: see if routine counseling can help his daughter, instead of turning her over to the state. Turning a loved one over to the state essentially says you have given up. That can lead to feelings of betrayal on the part of his daughter. Her mother would also probably be devastated if he chose that course of action.

There may be a local "tough love" program in the community - he should consider calling the local law enforcement people to ask if such a program is running near him.

Lastly: any relatives living in the country who might be able to look after her for any period of time ? That would separate her from those who are bad influences and providing her with alcohol.

The risk of pregnancy is a related concern at this age.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Do you have custody? If you do you can be held responsible. If you do not then you can not be held responsible.
If she was my daughter I would go to the ends of the earth to help her. Especially in this time of great need in her life.
Get a good family attorney, hire a social worker for some advice to help your daughter, then make a plan of attack.
Her mother does not have the ability to help her. You must or all is lost for your daughter.

Answer 5

16 is the toughest age,specially for a girl living with her father after a divorce.why you want to cut her out of your life?she needs you,your guidance,your nurturing,your discipline.yes ,you are responsable for her behavior.have you talk to her mom,?she still her mom and needs to be aware of her daughters actions.are you blind and deaf ?all this acting up is her way to let everyone knows how frustrated and lonely she feels.all of you are in great need of family therapy,it will do loads of good.im the proud mother of seven beautiful and well educated ladies,but you can bet your sweet *** it wasnt always this way,been there,done that six times over and i still have a 17 , a 14, and a 9 year old at home.dont give up so fast,have a little patience,work something out with your daughter.i bet she wasnt always like this.put yourself in her position,you better than anyone knows the reasons and how you ended your marriage,but she knows also,she was there.or maybe she thinks she knows.children often blame themselfes for their parents arguments and break ups.please reach out to your princess and seek all the help you can get.her mom needs to be involved also,she is sick,not dead.you both brougth this child in to this world,its your social,moral,and undeniable responsability to ensure her with a future and total support no matter what.God gives you strength and serenity to comply,many blessings.

Answer 6

Send her to military school. She is obviously in need of the discipline she is not getting at home. Teenagers today are being coddled and catered to by parents who would much rather be friends than parents to their kids. If Dad can't be an authority figure to his daughter, then someone else should before she ends up dead, pregnant, or in jail.

Answer 7

You cannot turn her over to the state without facing a variety of child abuse charges, including abandonment. I am going through similar issues with my step-daughter (13) who actually got me a life-flight to a trauma center after punching me in the back of the head and neck. She's in residential ordered by the courts, but my husband has to pay $20/day for her time in juvie, and now the residential center is taking him for child support (while we try to figure out a way to pay our rent for our other 6 children). There is doubt to his paternity anyway, but under PA law, since he has held her out to be his own child, we're stuck with her (her mother is a crackwhore who gave 3 names OTHER than my husband as possible fathers). Have you tried getting therapy for your daughter?

Answer 8

it relatively is an extremely stressful question, with relatively severe implications. you could petition to have the toddler located interior the state's keeping custody -- (toddler in desire of keeping centers), yet then you definately flow to courtroom. there are various centers that are obtainable during the state. i'd initiate at the same time with your social service company. the toddler desires help, no longer rejection (yet in addition does no longer desire you to proceed to be an enabler). good success.

Answer 9

You are responsible for your daughter's actions until she is 18.

Answer 10

if you are reponsiible for her yes you can but probably not on turning her over to the state unless they want to you could probably get help from state counseling etc good luck to you