What is the best way to handle two teenage children that are becoming more out of control each day without bec

Question

I am the mother of 4 my first 2 were great no problems gratuated HS currently going to college.... bright futures ahead. My problem is the 2 younger kids. Boy 16 and girl 14. They talk back, disrespect us, throw things when angry, disappear for hours, lie about when and with whom they are with, grades keep getting worse and currently failing more than 2 subjects each. We tried talking to them explaining that we need to know where they are especailly since both of us parents work full time. Daughter recently embarrassed us by getting caught shoplifting while shopping with us- we gave her money to spend in the store but she still lifted a couple more items. I am at my wits end, everytime we try to punish them by taking away priviledges they seem to twist us into making an exception- they usually play the daddy or mommy game when they beg which ever one of us didn't set the punishment to get us to loosen up the reins for a day or night. Any suggestions.
boy into pot girl drinks help!

Answer 1

Lol this is so funny to me, I am sorry but your 14 year old drinks, and your 16 year old smokes pot, And when you punish them you go back own your word, You are so caught up in having to make a living so you can give disrespectful children all they need Lol, Not me, That 16 year old would be working and buying His clothes pot and what ever else he needed I would give Him a place to live and something to eat but when His disrespectful pot smoking self would be taking all His spare time up at a Job. but its hard to get a job with Pot in His system, or in to a collage, with pot in their system, This is abuse, to me.for you allowing such to go own. I tell them that we are going to lose everything we own because I am going to go every where you go and If I have to that then I will have to quit my Job. And that 14 year old needs to go to a but camp, She see Her brother getting away with pot smoking so......She figures she can do what she wants and get away with it...Tell your son if He don't stop His wrong ways in front of you and your daughter, He can leave. that is your house and lay down the rules to Him or else. If they want to act grown then treat them like thy are grow...Where is the man of this house....and why is He sleeping through this, God bless you All Your only hope is for your husband and you together to go to God with this and give it to Him....

Answer 2

I can relate to this problem. You need to take serious action.
First, go to the school counselor and see what kind of help they can give you. Probably they have parenting classes about how to deal with difficult teens, and probably they have a variety of ways to motivate them too. If they recommend it, you might try counseling. The school counselor should know who is good.
Next, make sure the school is doing everything they can do in regard to skipping school or breaking other rules. Make sure they are aware when one of them skips school. The truant officers can take a variety of actions to motivate them to go to school, such as taking away their driver's license.
Next, EVERY time one of the teens breaks the law, call the police and report it. This includes not only shoplifting, but also curfew violation, smoking, drinking, leaving home without permission, breaking something on purpose, hitting or pushing you, etc. The police are busy, so you need to be persistent. If your teens don't straighten out due to this action, the police reports are your best chance to get some help for your teens. If they come before a juvenile court, the judge can order any number of remedies from informal probation to anger management classes to therapy to juvenile detention or special placement.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Your poem isn't bad - it just needs to be cleaned up. It's VERY wordy - if you get my drift. There are a lot of unnecessary words. A lot of repeated words. We will make this world our own. With purpose, passion, our hearts beating in harmony, We'll sculpt it with our fingers, feel the hardened actualities melt away in the heat of our palms. We will create the beauty our lives lack the symmetry, graceful lines, intimate contours finely crafted details All our creation. We will have control. Accept this clay below our nails and the tiredness in our bones. We will finish first cleanse ourselves after our masterpiece is complete. And then as you rest, contented and fulfilled ... I will draw the angles of your alluring face; Paint the cobalt waters of your eyes Smudge away small imperfections As I’ve never truly seen them anyway. Hold still now, my love Let me drink you in the moon rays illuminate you you’re too beautiful to glance at in passing. But even statues begin to crumble And paintings fade with time Even if the world can never see what we see at this moment, If they dismiss it as extravagantly youthful folly We will keep it all on the canvas of our passing souls. You took a picture of me And hung it on your wall You looked at it every day and said it held everything you loved in me. Just an idea of what I mean - I didn't change your poem, just "messed" a little - a lot of my friends do that for me.

Answer 4

After raising two teenage boys by myself... my sympathies. I think, tho, that this behavior is more the norm than your two older kids.

Teenagers are experimenting, rebelling, trying desperately to determine where they fit in the scheme of things. I always knew my that my kids had learned respect, morality and humanity in their early years. I just prayed it surfaced again. I used to tell my kids "I know you're in there somewhere!" They just seemed to be other people in their teens. Just pray that what you did teach them keeps them out of too much trouble. (the shoplifting thing is scarey..) Because at this point you can't be with them every minute of the day watching over them. You're doing the very best you can!

My two sons are happy, independent adults. One of them is a career Air Force, and dad of two great kids. And they apologize profusely for their teenage behavior! : )

Good luck to you. Hang in there.... they'll make it!

Answer 5

It's actually normal for a lot of teens to act that way. You become so drained that you let them off the hook because they wear you down. Just know you are not alone in this. Just keep an eye on them as much as you can.