why do women go back to their abuser time to time>?

Question

i'm in a relationship for about 3 years. i kind of knew that he is emotionally and mentally abusing me. i felt he was only friend of mine, i just moved to toronto about 3 years ago from other province, i felt like i don't anything beside him. i feel it's so hard to make any friends. he always ask me to buy something for him. the relationship started was fine, we had fun, we used to go out do stuff together, rightnow we just lost it. he aslo critcize everything i do, everything i say or wear, i'm just no good enough, i used to be beautiful in his eyes, rightnow i m just nothing. i bought him XboX, playstation, and much so much i don't even remember. i don't even spend any money on me , i will buy whatever he wanted. some times i feel like i deserve better. but i don't know how to leave , where i should go, i feel so alone. rightnow we fight all the time just about everything. i'm afraid loosing the only friend i have. i felt hopeless.

Answer 1

I've actually thought about this subject for a while and have a few explanations Heres one of them;

they want to feel loved and the abuser is generally a close friend who they have personally opened up too i. e. told them things no one else knows and they end up not wanting the feeling of love to end so they keep going back and keep getting hurt.

Answer 2

Women go back because their bf/hubby has them believing the worst about themselves. They also convince the women that really they would be a burden to anyone else. that he is the only one willing to tolerate her. Abusive men beat their women down (emotionall/physically) to gain control. It usually works unless the women recognize what is happening. Abusive men also use emotional blackmail for control. "If you really loved me you would do . . . " Men may say the woman doesn't show them enough love, they're not trying as hard as him. It takes time for this all to work but this about the jist of it. By the time the woman has had enough, she already feels trapped and hopeless. Seek councelling and look for another place to live. You are going down a dangerous road. It's best to get out while the getting is good. Meaning while you still have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I highly advice you read a book titled women who love too much. From working in a women shelter as a paraprofessional counselor and a survive my self I've learned the most common denominator among women who are abused is low self esteem. One thing that helped me with my own low self esteem was positive self talk. Look in the mirror daily tell your self I deserve to be happy and loved.
I know now what I thought was love for my abuser was not love but sickness. A mixture of low self esteem and co-dependency. Another good book is Codependent No More.
All these things helped me recover but it was prayer and GOD alone that helped me escaped, my abuser. My abuse was very server and I was lucky to make it out with my life. But no one deserves to be abused by someone they share a bed with.
My heart goes out to you as does my prayer.

Answer 4

I read that women who are abused are oftentimes comfortable with what's familiar, even though it's painful, it's attention that they crave and they feel that they don't deserve goodness in any form.
Sometimes this cycle begins in childhood and carries over.

Answer 5

dont you have any family you could go see or visit. You deserve better. Move on!